Benji knocked and knocked on Phoenix’s apartment door, but no one answered. It was almost 1, he expected someone to be up or home. Four failed phone call returns from Phoenix made him drive on over to White Plains to see her, Joel’s verbal directions ample enough to find 15 Kingsland Road, and then up 5 floors to Apartment 33, the girls’ apartment. Suddenly, he heard movement inside, and a fatigued Madison answered the door, hunched over, her eyes barely open, a quilt wrapped around her little body.
“Hey Mad,” Benji greeted her with a smile, then took note of her decrepit state, “Are you alright?”
“Juss a little cold,” Madison whispered hoarsely, rubbing her quilt against her red nose softly, “You’re brother’s coming over later to alleviate the discomfort.” She wiggled her eyebrows a little suggestively.
“Ooooh,” Benji nodded, “I getcha.” They stood in the silence for a few seconds, like they both didn’t know why he was there.
“She left for the White Plains YMCA like 2 minutes ago,” Madison answered his unasked question, a long yawn stretching from her mouth.
“Who?” Benji asked innocently, eyebrows raised sarcastically.
“You know who,” Madison responded with a weak smile. “Go cut her off at the pass. Hurry!” With that, Madison shooed Benji away and retreated back to bed to wait for Joel…
~*~
“Always see it on TV or read it in the maga…” Phoenix cut Joel’s voice off as she switched the radio off, letting out an exasperated breath, lunch hour traffic whizzing by her like they couldn’t afford a wasted second. They were living the life the way everyone should, stuffing it all in a small package, not to miss a beat. It seemed everywhere she went something was reminding her of Benji and that night. That was the new anxiety that invaded her every thought. She felt like Benji’s touch was all over her all the time and she didn’t know if that was good or bad. Shaking her head a bit in a futile effort to get Benji out of her head, she turned to the right into the YMCA parking lot and pulled into her usual spot by the main entrance, the lot unusually empty. Phoenix cut the engine, took a glance at her appearance in the rearview mirror, the sun twinking through powder puff clouds, and popped the truck, swinging the door open and staring into Benji’s eyes next to her.
“You know,” Benji began casually, leaning against the driver’s side of his teal ’63 Impala, his fingers drumming on the vinyl hood, his head bopping to some undisclosed tune as he glanced around his surroundings, “If you take Highway 80 and get off before Roosevelt Ave, you get here in half the time?”
Phoenix bit her lower lip and briefly raised her eyebrows like to say ‘Oh my god,’ the wind trying to toss her out of her low ponytail, red zip-up hoodie, old school checkered Vans, and navy Dickies, reaching into her trunk for her travel bag, “You came over here just to tell me that?”
“It seemed like the only way I could contact you,” Benji informed her coolly, shoving his hands into his black Etnies sweatshirt, sort of waddling around the back of his car towards her, standing up straight when he reached her, his eyes squinting from the zenith of the sun, “Been busy?”
“You know, the usual,” Phoenix shrugged nonchalantly, “Lunch on the Riviera, Tea with the queen.” Benji let out a laugh and Phoenix stood stoically, her eyes peering up at Benji paired with a slip of a smile, Phoenix thinking, ‘How can you not smile when those beautiful eyes are focused on only you…What?! Phoenix! What are you thinking!’
“We need to talk,” Benji told her seriously, as if she didn’t know already, running his hands through his new short black and green do.
“I was afraid you were going to say that,” Phoenix sighed, intertwining her fingers together in front of her.
“I don’t know about you, but I felt…something, when you confided in me, when you kiss my lips, when you were safe in my arms. I’m the one to act on impulses, never second guess, so…”
“It was all hormonal, sexual,” Phoenix differed, “Two lonely people finding comfort in each other in this cruel and relentless world.”
“Why can’t we do that more often?” Benji asked softly, his fingers lingering on Phoenix’s cheek, Phoenix glancing down a little hesitant, “Not sexually, but…”
“Hello!” Phoenix backed away, waving her hand in his face, “Boyfriend’s been dead for a month and 2 days. I really don’t think I’m ready or on the rebound.”
“I’m not saying ‘Let’s hop on a plane to Vegas and get married!’ I’m asking for an innocent date,” Benji corrected her, holding his hands as if in prayer, putting on a puppy-dog face.
“I’m not…” Phoenix responded, gazing up into his eyes, “interested…in you.”
Benji smiled wide and began to laugh.
“What?” Phoenix demanded, narrowing her eyebrows at him, clasping her hands to her hips.
“I’ve just notice something,” Benji replied, rubbing his hands together to either fight the cold or impersonate a fly, “I know your game.”
“What are you talking about?!” Phoenix asked half confused, half annoyed, raising her hands in her defense, pushing them onto the top of her head, “Has the loss of your spikes make your brain hallow?”
“Your eyes,” Benji informed her slyly, leaning close to confirm his theory, their lashes almost meshing together, their breath tangoing in the frigid air.
“Yes, I have eyes,” Phoenix validated his statement, smiling a little as she pushed him away, the wind splicing between them. “Two of them.”
“Your right one twitches ever so slightly when you’re lying,” Benji informed her, pointing to the culprit, nodding with his confidence.
“When have you ‘seen’ me lying, Mr. Madden?” Phoenix asked defensively, folding her arms across her chest defiantly.
“Besides now,” Benji began, “The other night at my place, when you said that you think you should go.” Phoenix clammed right up, her eyes dialating a little bit. “You didn’t want to leave. You wanted to stay as much as I wanted to.”
No response.
“You’re scared, Phoenix,” Benji told her quietly like she was the only one to hear his secrets, taking her hand gently in his, Phoenix not resisting this PDA. “Scared to start loving again, scared to leave the memory and comfort of Ethan behind, try something new. I know it is very soon, but you can’t spend your life hiding in Ethan’s shadow, be an exception to the rule. A date will not alter the course of the universe, Nix. What do you say? How’s Thursday?”
Phoenix was astonished because every word coming from Benji’s pierced lips were dripping with truth. She hated admitting she was wrong, but she needed to swallow her pride and stop the denial and eye-twitching. Phoenix felt a small flame in her heart from the moment she pressed her lips against Benji’s, as much as she tried to douse it with water and sand, a flame that was kindling into a all-out forest fire with every cast-away thought that processed in her mind about Benji and every grappled thought about Ethan.
“God Damn it,” she whispered almost inaudibly, tugging her hands way from Benji, hitting her fist lightly against her side-view mirror, glaring with a menacing and weak guise, “Pick me up at 7?”