In God's Hands Introduction Page

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"IN GOD'S HANDS"

INTRODUCTION PAGE

~FACE TO FACE WITH JESUS~
~Author Unknown~

A woman arrived at Heaven's gate
and met Jesus face to face.
As he reviewed her life with her
she could see every event
Just as clearly as if it were
happening right then and there.
Looking at a time in her life
filled with sorrow,
She asked him a question
that had long been on her heart;
"Lord, look at my time
of greatest trouble.
I prayed and prayed
but I heard no word from you.
I would have despaired
had it not been
For all the people who helped me:
The friends who
listened and consoled,
Who brought me
food and understanding,
Who cried with me and stood by me ~
And my family
who gave me a reason to go on living.
But why did You abandon me?
Why didn't you help me?"

"My Child," Jesus answered,
"Why didn't you recognize me?"

This web site is dedicated to the memory of my sons, Matthew and Steven. Every moment of every day since their death I have tried to console myself by saying that they could not be in better hands than the hands of God. So when it came time to name this web site I thought "IN GOD'S HANDS" would be an appropriate name.

I chose the poem "FACE TO FACE WITH JESUS" because when our children dies one of our first thoughts is that God has deserted us. After reading this poem for the first time I realized that God had not deserted me ~ he had been with me all the time in the loving and caring people that helped me to survive the devastating loss of Matthew and Steven.

Anyone who has lost a child knows that there is no greater pain. There is nothing in our life experience to prepare us for such a loss. Yet, somehow we survive. I don't know how but we do. We make it through the empty days and the very long, dark lonely nights. At first we find it too painful to remember and then we live in fear that we will forget.

Although we think that we will never smile again and the sun will never shine one day without realizing it we find ourselves thinking about our child and instead of tears we are smiling. With all the steps that we have taken back we have finally taken our first step forward.

When we finally decide that it is time to go on with our lives we feel guilty because we think that we are leaving our children behind. I have learned through the many, many tears and the many, many sleepless nights that no matter where I go or what I do Matthew and Steven will always be with me as they will live on forever in my heart.

We fall down a lot but as long as we can keep getting up we will be all right. The pain never goes away and the void that is left in our lives can never be filled. We never accept our child's death we just learn to live with it because we have no other choice.

My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a child. I know and understand your pain and my hope is that while you are visiting and even after leaving you will find hope in knowing that all of our children that were so truly and deeply loved are now in the best hands that there could be

~THE HANDS OF GOD~

~I PRAY FOR THEE~

I step within my closet space,
No light for me to see,
The doors are closed up tight,
Shades that cover my windows
Have closed out the world from me.
Down upon my knees I bend,
Head bowed in humble mourning.
Dear Lord I come to thee
As a child with tender faith
To ask of you, not for myself,
But for so many who grieve.
Their children have departed
To rest within your care.
Now those left in torment
Seek your mending grace.
Their kindness they have given
To others with weeping hearts,
So please send them mercy,
Comfort from the storm,
Rest from the burdened life.
But then I ask, with reverence
To your giving heart,
And as I end my talk with thee
I ask your will be done.
Then as my doors are opened,
The shades are opened wide
To see the world outside,
I send my weary heart to all
Who shed those tears of pain,
With caring tears
From my own eyes,
My message to you will be
My Friend,
I pray for thee.

By: Paul D. McCutcheon: 01/16/00

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE WITHOUT PERMISSION

PLEASE VISIT PAUL'S WEB SITE IN MEMORY OF
HIS SONS, DARREN, PAUL & KEITH

~DAD'S ANGELS~

THANK YOU KATIA,
FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL ANGEL

~A MOTHER'S LOVE~
~Helen Steiner Rice~

A mother's love is something
that no one can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,

It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may,
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away...

It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even when the heart is breaking,

It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gem...

It is far beyond defining
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation...

A many splendored miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's guiding hand.

"IN GOD'S HANDS"
GUARDIAN ANGEL

"IN GOD'S HANDS"
WAS CREATED BY AND IS MAINTAINED BY
PATRICIA KUSILA

~IN THE ARMS OF AN ANGEL~
~Sara McLachlan~

PAGE UPDATED ~ 09/07/04