HUMOROUS RECIPES
BIRD NEST SOUP
Chinese Soup
3 1/2 oz. bird's nest (dried)
6 cups chicken stock
1 large chicken breast (deboned)
1 Tbls. Dry sherry
1/4 cup rich chicken stock
2 Egg whites
1 tsp. Salt
2 Green onions (minced)
1 Tbls. Ham (Smithfield, minced
2 Tbls. Cornstarch
2 Tbls. Chicken stock
In a large bowl, soak bird's nest water overnight in cold. Drain and rinse. Then spread softened nest pieces on plate; Remove any prominent pieces of 'foreign' matter (e.g. feathers, twigs).
Remove membrane and muscle fiber from chicken breast. Using a cleaver handle, pound meat to break down tissue and mince chicken until it is pulp. In a mixing bowl, mix cornstarch with 2 Tbls. chicken stock to make a medium thick paste. Set aside.
When ready to cook, heat 6 cups of chicken stock on high heat until boil. Immediately add bird's nest and simmer for 30 minutes. Slowly dribble dry sherry into minced chicken. Using a fork, lightly beat egg whites and fold gently into chicken so they are not completely blended.
Bring soup back to boil and slowly add chicken stock mixture to soup. Add salt to soup and heat on medium heat. When soup returns to boil, serve in serving bowls. Garnish with green onions.
ELEPHANT STEW
1 Elephant
Salt and pepper to taste.
2 Rabbits.(optional)
Cut up Elephant into bite size pieces
(Takes about 2 Months)
Add brown gravy to cover.
Cook about four weeks at 465º over fire.
Serves about 380.
For larger groups,add 2 Rabbits
but only if necessary
as most people
don't like to find hare
in their stew.
ELEPHANT STEW 2
1 medium sized elephant
300 lbs of potatoes
2 bushels of carrots
50 lbs. of onions
300 lbs. of butter brown sauce
2 rabbits (optional)
Cut the elephant ito bite sized pieces (this will take about 2 months )
Saute in butter in very large skillet until pieces are brown on both sides.
Peel potatoes, carrots and onions. Surround elephant meat with the vegetables and cover with brown sauce.
Cook slowly (about 2 to 3 weeks ) over blue flame until the meat is real tender.
This will serve 12,000.
You may add the rabbits after the first week of cooking, but remember, some people may not like a little hare in their stew.
Bon Appetit!!!
CHANGE IS INEDIBLE
I didn't have potatoes
so I sustituted rice.
I didn't have paprika
so I used another spice.
I didn't have tomato sauce
I used tomato paste:
A whole can
not a half,
I don't believe in waste.
A friend gave me the recipe:
she said you couldn't beat it.
There must be something wrong with her
I couldn't even eat it!!
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