“Alex...” Denise called as she entered his room
“Yes mom, what is it?”
She lended him a red envelope
“I think you know what this is”
“Another one? Oh mom thank you, I really needed it...” he give his mom a kiss on the cheek
“Don't thank me, thank her, but you know finding it among those other billion letter it’s a hard job...”
“I know mom, U’re the man.. oh sorry , my woman”
“ha ha ha yeah yeah, go on and read it”
 So there it was another letter from her. He looked like a kid who just got a bicycle for Christmas. Who was she? He didn't even knew, or well she was a fan but she never wrote her address, maybe she never though he would actually read it, how could he read all those letters, but that one ...

Well it all started back in 2001, he was getting trough really serious shit, that was leading him no where, his guys had a talk with him, he had to start taking care of himself, and not just going down on drinks and all that other stuff that he didn't even wanted to remember, till that one day when he arrived to his mom's house, he was drunk and high and he had this huge argument with his mom...

“This is my life mom, so let me live it the way I want to damn it”
“NO ALex, I didn't brought you into this world to see in go down like that, no way...”
“Can the world leave me alone... Fuck it , man, I just want to be alone...” as he kicked a box of mail that was on the floor, then realized what he had done and went done and started crying
“Oh my God Alex, what have that done to you?” she bended done on the floor, and helped him out...
“See AJ; see?” as she showed him some letters These are your fans, this girls love you and look, what have you done to yourself...”
“No mom, they don’t love me, they love the ajbackstreet boy not the real me”
“well you don’t know how wrong you are... You don’t have any idea of what they really think do you? Go on and open these ones and read some, ok? then see if you can say those words again.” She picked a little pile of letters and lend them to him...
“It’s just trash, bull shit”
“No, my son, you know I love you but you are wrong really wrong...”
He picked them up and went to her living room,
“I’ll get you something nice to drink, be right back...”
“Ok... “ his eyes went through the fan mail, and he started reading what those girls had to say to him... It broke his heart to see how much trust they laid in him, how much they looked up at him ; Lucy from Scotland, Maria from Spain, Jessica from Dakota... until he reached that first envelope. It was a red envelope, and he it smelled like... hmmmm mint and, I don't know,  it smelled really like country side, and he had to opened it.

( Hi? Helloo? How am I gonna start this letter?

If You were a good friend I would start this letter as “Dear Friend”, but well you don’t even know me, who am I kidding maybe you will never even read this...
But well, I had to, i had to write this letter, why?
Because you are not doing well, and this ache I have in my heart will not go away till the day U take a good look at yourself, and see what you are doing...)

Tears start rolling down his face, that letter was so cruel, but real, how did that girl knew how much he was hurting?

(How do I know what u are going through? Well I just know, and Alexander let me tell you that it hurts in a way that I never thought I would feel. Every drink you think, you hope your pain goes away but let me tell you something Alexander, it wont, till the day you are sober enough to look at the damage you are doing to yourself and to those who really love you, that pain will not go away.)

“She was so right who am I kidding?” yelled AJ as he cleaned the tears on his face. Denise stood there looking at her son, could her heart have a little of hope now?

(Alexander... Alexander... I like the way of your name in my lips,  makes me wonder how it would fell to have you whisper mine at my ear. What's my name? It’s not important, you are all that is important, please stop it now.
If you don’t wanna do it for yourself, do it for the true fans that love you, for what you really are, do it for the guys do it for your mom...
 Love
(Just me) )

AJ felt Denise's hand on his shoulder..
“mom...” he said with a trembling voice ”Mom... I'm scared” as he reached her for a hug letting out all of his pain with the tears that came out of his eyes.
“I know honey, but I’ll be here don’t worry...”

So with that he realized that he needed help, that letter opened his eyes and cleared his heart, he went to rehab, and all the way he continued receiving those red envelope letters, they always came in the moments he needed the most , she talked about life, friends, family, even love and well there he was with another one in his hands.

(Dear friend (can I call you that by now?)
I think I have the right to, yeah I do, with all the money I've spend with Backstreet shit,,)

AJ couldn't help the smile

(Ok, I'm kidding it’s not shit most of my best spent money was in your albums.
So how is it going? that new album is just amazing, I really liked it a lot and I'm glad they included your song “happy” it is really a powerful instrument.
So anyway, this is gonna be my last letter.
Yup, I'm moving in to another country, try to make my dreams come true, coz well, life is only worth the dreams we see coming true.)

“So this is her last letter” he though

(I’ll be watching you all the time, like I always do, and I'm really excited with the idea of you guys coming to europe, IT WAS ABOUT TIME anyway.

well I guess this is it, short and quick like all my goodbyes, I just wanna let you know how proud you have made me fell, and last I just want to leave my Thank YOU, coz well even not knowing, you made the sun shine a little brighter in my life.

Thanks
  Love
   (Just me) )

“And you made me realize how precious life is lil girl) added AJ.

“hey who are you talking to bro.?” asked Nick as he rune into his room

“No one lil bro., no one...” as he smiled back at him

“So are you ready to go fly? ha ha ha”

“Here we go again...wow where do we go first?”

“kev said that we have to do  this mini concert thing in New york first then we are heading to Europe”  said nick with this lousy french accent

“ French, italian, spanish chics...” added AJ, as he winked back at his friend

“I'm gonna do them all”
“I teached u well.. too well”

“yes u did, but lets get going k?”

“k”

He looked back at that envelope, here he was about to start it al over again, Does life get any better?