Chapter 2
Log entry two This job is getting harder by the day. Justin was the next to crack. I think it had to do with JC. Thoes two have been getting closer by the day. I think they know where eachother is comming from with the group and their earlier days. Whether they know it or not, they are helping eachother out in more ways than one and making my job easier. But with Justin's recent breakdown, it's huting JC more and more.
Justin sat patiently in the room waiting for lunch of some sort. JC sat next to him anxiously. Infact, all of them were just sitting and waiting for the hand to move to the 12 on the clock. Justin looked down the line of his fellow bandmates. The ice had shattered in JC's eyes, Joey's hysteria had stopped, Chris's friendly smile had disappeared and Lance's sparkle in his eyes had been lost. All of the things that Justin had grown to love, had dissapered instantly after their hearts had been broken. It was heartbreaking the way that each had to go through this hell. Justin considered himself the most normal out of all of them. But that was only to himself. Jc was a wreck, thank god he was there for him. JC always falls hard from relationships but more was going on in his mind. After JC's breakdown, everything had seemed better. JC just needed a friend to tell him everything would be ok. Now that JC was feeling better, Justin wanted someone to tell him everything would be ok.
"I'm not sure if I can take this anymore," Justin mumbled to himself.
"I know...I need food now," Joey muttered. Justin managed to crack a smile at that. One by one each man started to smile, let out a chuckle and it finally evolved in a full fledged laughter. As they lie there laughing on the groud, a security guard came in and brought them to the cafeteria. They walked single file to the lunch line and ate their lunch happily. That was the first time Justin had smiled that whole week.
**Flashback**
"I love you Justin," she whispered into his ear. Justin's body tensed up and he froze in shock. After a few minutes of silence, Jackie broke it.
"Well don't you love me too?" she asked angrily. Justin shook his head and brushed his fingers through his short bleached curls.
"I need to be alone...I came here to tell you that i think we should break up," Justin sighed walking away from the park bench. He heard Jackie's sobs as she ran in the oppisite direction. Justin started to run faster towards his home and cried harder each step.
"I don't love her....I don't...I wanted to be ALONE!" he cried into the night. He stepped back into the hotel and choked back some sobs. He slipped under his covers and cried himself to sleep that night.
"I've gotta go get her," Justin sighed slipping on some shoes and running out the door.
"Where are you going?" Chris asked as he bolted out the door.
"To get her back!" Justin yelled as he ran towards the school.
"She should get out right now," he said running towards her school. He saw Jackie sitting their with another guy with his arm around her shoulder.
"Jackie?" Justin called. The guy slipped his hand off her shoulder and Jackie stood up to meet him.
"What do you want?" Jackie asked.
"I need you...I want you back. I wasn't thinking last night. Here is my necklace, take it. I--"
"Justin...I'm sorry...There is someone else. You rejected me and I found another person. I'm sorry," she said handing him his necklace back. She skipped down the bleachers and into the arms of her new man. They walked away happily and Justin stared angrily. He ran back to the hotel in tears just as he had the night before and cried to Chris.
"It just wasn't meant to be," Chris said comforting Justin.
**End Flashback**
Justin shoved another mouthfull of food into his mouth. After lunch he went into his session with the psychiotrist. She was a kind, young girl. She asked him questions he didn't feel like answering but he did anyway. Justin lied on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.
"Did you love her?" she asked him.
"No...I was jelous...I was jelous that she found someone so fast after we broke up...and that is what hurt," Justin said as he started to cry.
"THIS IS STUPID! WHY am I SO HUNG up on her? I didn't love her and I didn't want her so why is this jelousy so ANNOYING?" he scremed. The lady wrote down several sentances and looked up at Justin's eyes. His crystal blue orbs were red with anger and tears stained the front of his pajama's.
"Because jealousy takes a while to get over. Once you find someone else to comfort you, then you will finally move on," she said quietly. The bell rung signaling it was time for Justin to go and he thought about her words.
"I need someone to comfort me...Chris" he whispered.
Chapter 3 ~Chris
Back to IDMC home
E-mail me