Everybody’s got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with
time
There’s no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or neither been
All this I know but still I can’t find ways to let you
go
~*~ Flashback~*~
“You know what?! I don’t give a damn! I never did!”
screamed the sixteen-year-old filled with rage and
guilt.
“So, it’s true…you have been cheating on me all this
time. I thought you were special. I thought I knew
you, Sasha. But I guess appearance isn’t everything
huh?” yelled a pain-stricken seventeen-year-old
Justin. “You know what, I’m gonna make this easier for
you. I’ll leave so your little bastard does what you
guys always do. Bye forever.” The next noise was that
of the door shutting.
Justin angrily kicked his red Mercedes Benz. He didn’t
care if it made a dent; he just wanted to get out of
there fast. He finally went into his car after much
thought of a possible place to go. He couldn’t go back
to the guys’ place, they’d ask too many questions. His
mom wasn’t home and he didn’t want to be alone. Only
one place was left on his mind. Lauren’s home was
always a second home to him so it didn’t matter if he
appeared on her front step without notifying her.
Lauren was Justin’s best friend. They had known each
other from the day they were born. They were neighbors
but that was before he moved to Orlando to pursue his
goal as a musician. Her inspiration was what kept him
going. They would tell each other problems and secrets
that they would never tell anybody else. She treated
him like a normal guy. Just Justin, not Justin
Timberlake of *Nsync.
When he arrived at her doorstep, he rang the bell like
he did so many times before. He needed a shoulder to
cry on right now, not the shoulder to cry on. His
heart was broken before, but not as seriously as this.
Lauren opened the front door and before Justin could
say a word, she wrapped her arms around him. Justin
cried softly as Lauren comforted him. She closed the
front door unnoticeably and led him into the living
room. She let him cry his pain out and didn’t push him
to confess what had happened. She would never do that,
not ever.
They ended up talking about what had happened later
that night. Of course, Justin would occasionally sob a
little but Lauren was there to say things would be
better. Justin loved her for that. He also confessed
that he would never forget Sasha, his first love.
Lauren understood because Eric, her first love ended
their romance a few months ago.
“Sasha is just a plain, old bitch. You hear me? She
doesn't know what a huge mistake she’s made. Things
will be better from now on J. I promise. I won’t let
anyone hurt you again. You’ll be alright,” said Lauren
comfortingly.
Justin looked up into her brown eyes and saw the
genuine woman she was. He smiled a small grin for the
first time since the incident earlier and kissed
Lauren on the cheek.
“Thank you so much Laur. Thank you so much for being
there when I needed you the most. Thank you for being
who you are. Thank you for loving me for who I am.
Thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank
you for standing beside me everyday. You amaze me
Laur. Nobody can ever replace you in my life. No one…”
whispered Justin in a hushed tone. “I love you Laur. I
always will.” Then, he planted a kiss on her forehead.
“I love you too J. That’ll never change, ever,”
replied Lauren in a quiet voice. Those three little
words that he had just spoken to her increased her
love for him. Their relationship had just reached a
new height and they didn’t know yet.
~*~End Flashback~*~
I never had a dream come true
‘Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on
You’ll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You’re the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
~*~Flashback~*~
*Nsync had just gotten back from their No Strings
Attached Tour a few days earlier. Justin and Lauren
was now an official couple. But, being in love with
your best friend isn’t the best thing. While Justin
was on tour, Lauren started receiving threats and some
occasional death calls. She also heard rumors about
Justin and Britney being more than “just friends”. She
knew Justin would never betray her but the thought
sometimes crossed her mind.
Justin quietly closed the door behind him and made
his way up to his bedroom. He didn’t know Lauren was
there already. He, himself, had heard about the rumors
but knew that they were all false. He had never seen
Britney while he was gone. As he opened his bedroom
door, he saw a tear-streaked Lauren sitting on his bed
holding some papers in her hand.
He quickly ran over to his bed and put his arms
around her to comfort her, but she jerkily grasped his
hands away from her body.
“What’s wrong? Why did you just do that?” asked a
bewildered Justin.
Lauren shoved the papers she was once holding to her
boyfriend. He looked over each paper carefully, not
missing a detail.
“What’s this?” he asked flipping through all the
pages over and over again.
“Those are magazine articles that photocopied and
some are printed from the Internet. I just want to
know why you would do this to me,” said Lauren in a
barely audible voice.
“Do what? I didn’t anything. Wait a minute, this is
about Britney isn’t it?” asked Justin quizzically.
Lauren could do nothing but nod her head.
“I have not seen her while I was gone Laur. You have
to trust me. I would never do this to you. Never, you
have to trust me,” replied Justin as he sat down on
his bed next to Lauren.
“Then, how can you explain this?” Lauren pressed the
‘Play’ button of Justin’s answering machine.
“September 21 @ 7:56pm…’Hey. This is Brit. Just
wanted to call and tell you I had a great time last
night. I gotta jet so I’ll call you in a few days
alright? Take care sweetie. Love ya…Bye.’”
Justin looked blankly at the machine. He wanted to
destroy it but part of him wanted to tell Lauren the
truth. He looked up and saw Lauren’s expression. He
knew she was hurt but the message was made more than a
year ago, when they were still dating.
“That message was made a year ago when me and Brit
were still together. I didn’t make ANY contact with
her while I was gone. You can ask the guys, my mom,
Melinda, everyone, even my bodyguard okay? I can tell
you that I did not cheat on you with her,” Justin knew
what he said was the truth. He just hoped Lauren could
see it.
Lauren wanted to trust him with all of her heart but
she just needed to think things over. Everything was
all happening at once. Her life was a dizzying and
nauseating roller coaster she had ever encountered.
“Everything’s just happening all at once. The rumors,
the fans, the media, privacy, our relationship…I don’t
know if I can do this J,” said Lauren as she fidgeted
with her hands.
“You have to Laur, for me. I love you with all my
heart. I know I can’t do anything to fix the rumors or
the press, but I’ll always be by your side. I’ll never
let you down,” said Justin desperately. Lauren’s eyes
showed signs of tears but she didn’t let them out.
Instead, she kept it inside of her.
“I..I…just need some time to think. I need to know if
this is the right decision for me right now. I-“ and
then she broke down. Her tears spilled onto the bed
and some found their way onto Justin’s khaki pants.
Justin pulled her into a hug and caressed her back
like they always did when they were young. “I don’t
want to say this, but I’ll give you the time you need.
I’ll give you until the end of the second leg of our
tour to make your decision. If you ever want to talk,
call me but if you don’t, I’ll understand. I’ll do
anything to see you smile. Anything.” Justin’s own
eyes were evident of tears wanting to be spilled out.
However, he couldn’t do that now. He had to be strong
for Lauren not the other way around.
Lauren cautiously looked up and saw the special,
unique man she fell in love with. “Thank you J. I love
you. Don’t ever forget that,” Lauren whispered to him.
Justin slowly rose from the bed, releasing them from
the hug. He looked at Lauren and knew she had to go.
Lauren, on the other hand, wanted to stay forever. But
she knew she had to do this, for both their sakes.
“I’ll leave now so I won’t be a burden to you. I
guess this is good-bye,” Lauren said as she slowly got
up from the bed.
“Yeah, I guess this is it,” Justin said as he led the
way to the front door, the door that would separate
them for the most grueling 3 months of their lives.
Lauren hesitantly stopped in front of the door.
“Bye Justin. Remember our song. I love you.” And with
that, she closed the door behind her.
~*~End Flashback~*~
Somewhere in my memory
And tomorrow can never be
Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There’s no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or neither been
All this I know but still I can’t find ways to let you
go
~*~Flashback~*~
“Yo Justin! Hello? Anybody there?!” yelled Chris,
clearly impatient.
“What?” Justin replied back annoyed.
“Are you okay? I mean, you’ve been screwing up
everywhere. Even, on the easiest parts. Dude, get a
grip!” JC said, fed up with Justin’s awareness.
“Alright, alright. I will. Let’s just get back on the
stage then okay?” said Justin. He was in the backstage
area of the venue they were playing that night. Lauren
was all that was on his mind. He just wished that
three months was long enough for her to make a
decision.
The guys were scheduled to sing ‘It Makes Me Ill’
next but with some connections, the guys changed it to
a song Justin knew all too well.
“What’s up y’all? You guys having a good time?
Alright good,” Justin paused briefly before starting
again. “This next song is very special to the guys and
me. It’s a song that we think says what we are seeing
each and everyday. It’s called ‘Never Had A Dream Come
True’. Check it out.”
The guys opened up with the first verse flawlessly.
By the end of the song, there was not a dry eye in the
whole venue. Justin, especially, hoped Lauren was
present but knew she wouldn’t be. Hopefully, he would
be happy enough to go about his normal self before the
tour was over.
~*~End Flashback~*~
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on
You’ll always be my baby
Never had the words to say
You’re the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
~In a Hotel Room in San Diego, CA (around 1 a.m.)~
Justin was writing in his journal after another
flawless show. Yes, he was exhausted, but he was
happy. He was happy that he had no more shows to do
until the guys recorded their new album. Writing in
his hotel room was now turning into a ‘Have To Do’
thing to Justin. He couldn’t call Lauren; he didn’t
feel right to have to do that. He was recalling the
memories Lauren and he shared before their break-up.
I wonder what she’s doing right now. Probably
relaxing in a hot tub at home reading some romance
novel. God, I miss her. Isn’t it obvious? Yeah,
whatever. I can’t get that song out of my head. Is
there something wrong with me? Yeah, that’s right. I’m
weird and crazy and missing my best friend.
I don’t know where to start. I mean, I ‘m going home
in two days. I’m nervous as hell! Me, nervous, yup.
That’s me alright. So what do I do now? The guys are
wandering around like stray cats. Don’t even want to
know what they’re trying to pull this time.
Sigh. This tour has been helpful and frustrating at
the same time. I love to sing and dance but there are
some things that just come before music. Britney has
been a great friend during this and I wish I can call
her, but I can’t. I don’t know why, but I just can’t.
She’s probably going to ask me about stuff I don’t
want to answer to. But I still love her, as a friend.
Now, to Lauren. It took a lot of courage for me not
to call her because we used to that while I was on
tour. We would catch up on stuff, tell jokes like old
times. I wished the break-up never happened. Now I
know what real, true love feels like. Everyday since
Lauren left my house, I have grown to love her more
than the day before. I know I sound like a romantic
but I am so you can’t stop me from being that person.
I just hope that Lauren takes took the three months to
think seriously. Because whatever decision she makes
decides the rest of our lives.
Shit, it’s 2 a.m. I have to catch up on my sleep so
I’ll write my thoughts down later.
~In Orlando, FL (around 2:30 a.m.)~
Lauren tirelessly opened up her diary. Her diary was
the only place she could put her thoughts in. She was
lonely as ever. Friends called to hang out once or
twice but most of the time, Lauren would be cramped in
her condo. She missed Justin, if she wanted to or not.
Dear Diary,
What to write? I have like no ideas and I’m pooped.
It’s like 2 a.m. Sigh. When did I become this lonely?
Oh yeah, when I broke up with my best friend. I’m
still not sure what to do yet. He’s coming home in two
days and I still don’t have an answer for him. Man, I
must suck. He is so gonna hate me. Well, maybe not.
He’s Justin. Yeah well, I have other worries.
Ever heard of that song, ‘He Loves U Not’ by Dream? I
think that’s the only song that depicts what I’m
feeling or trying NOT to feel right now this instant.
I wish I could just disappear right now. Ugh, man, I
wish this whole situation wasn’t happening. I’m
listening to Backstreet Boys’ ‘The Call’. I put it on
‘Repeat’. I don’t know why. It’s just like stuck. My
fingers won’t let me change it to another song. Maybe
there’s a message there. Hmm…yeah, that Justin’s
dating another girl. Haha, very funny. But you know
what, that could happen, right now. Now, I’m just
psycho.
The bottom line is, I kind of miss him. Like, more
than a friend type ‘missing’. I am so weird. I think I
drank too many espresso frappucinos this afternoon at
Starbucks. Can’t fall asleep. I just hope I have an
answer to Justin in time for his arrival home.
Gotta go. Sleep calls. Peace.
Missing Justin Entirely,
Lauren ‘Laur’ Williams
You’ll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, baby
You’ll always be the one I know I’ll never forget
There’s no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can’t say goodbye, no no no no
~Two Days Later in Orlando International Airport
(around 2 p.m.)~
Lauren walked up to the gate Justin’s flight was
arriving at. She was nervous. No, wait, nervous didn’t
even describe what she was feeling right now. She was
terrified and scared that her decision may not be the
right decision for her. She wasn’t supposed to be at
the airport right now, instead she was supposed to be
at home watching television waiting for Justin to come
home to her.
Lauren nervously looked at her watch for the
umpteenth time since she got to the airport. ‘Five
minutes until Justin is going to arrive,’ she thought.
‘Just great.’
Suddenly passengers from the plane start piling out
hurriedly in time to get their baggage. Lauren took
out her sunglasses to disguise herself from the
others. As to what seemed to be a lifetime, Justin
appeared looking as fine as can be. Of course, the
guys were with him. ‘Figures,’ Lauren thought, ‘But
damn, does he look GOOD!’’. Justin was decked out in a
khaki tank with a gray t-shirt over showing the tank;
also, a pair of gray cargo pants and a khaki
fisherman’s hat and brown-tinted sunglasses.
Lauren made her way over to where the guys were
signing autographs for some young fans. Her hands were
trembling as she neared the presence of the group. Her
eyes focused on Justin as he thankfully signed
countless autographs for adoring fans. He suddenly
looked up and saw Lauren. He gave a small smile to her
and quickly signed autographs for the rest of the
adored fans.
When he was done, he casually walked over to where
Lauren was standing and before she could say one word
to him, he engulfed her with a big hug.
“I missed you Laur,” he said softly.
“I know. I missed you too,” answered Lauren, more
nervous than ever.
Lauren and Justin caught up on each other’s lives, on
what they missed and the highlights of their days. The
one thing that they both avoided was the decision that
Lauren made. After they put Justin’s entire luggage in
the trunk of his Mercedes Benz, they entered the car.
It was quiet until Justin started the car and asked a
question.
“Did you make a decision yet?” asked Justin, starting
to sweat a little because he wanted to hear the
decision she made, but then, he also didn’t want to
hear it.
“Umm…yeah, I did. It took me a long time to but I
think that this decision is my final decision,” Lauren
said stumbling a little with the words.
“Okay, it would be nice if you could, you know, tell
me what it is,” Justin said a little playfully to ease
some of the tension in the car. He parked on the curb
and turned to give Lauren his full attention.
“Umm…okay, yeah. I’ve known you for since I was a
baby and you are a nice, caring, and handsome guy.
We’ve been through quite a lot together and that’s
what I cherish the most. Whenever I had a problem or
something big to say, you were always the first person
I turned to,” Lauren paused a little before beginning
again. “We have been best friends forever and I’d like
to stay that way. But, I do realize how much you care
about me. I guess I never saw that until yesterday
when I made my decision. I like your kind heart, great
sense of stability, and the love that you give me.”
Justin turned his head and looked forward, not
wanting to make eye contact with his best friend yet.
“Your love is the only thing that keeps me together,
as a person. You’re why I live out my life. You give
me stability and I give you normalcy that you cherish
so greatly. I know I haven’t been the best best
friend, but you have. You have been there since day
one and I can’t ever imagine my life without you. What
I’m trying to say is that,” Lauren hesitantly stopped
and looked at Justin who was staring out of the front
window. He turned around and looked at Lauren.
“That what?” he asked, afraid of the next few words
that would change his life for the better or for the
worst.
“That…I…love you.” Lauren barely said the words,
afraid of being rejected, but Justin heard, loud and
clear.
“I want to be with you forever,” Lauren said quietly.
She suddenly felt two strong arms on her back. She
looked at Justin and hugged him back.
“I love you too Laur. I just wanted to hear you say
those words,” Justin said barely above a whisper.
Lauren and Justin broke out of their sweet embrace
and looked at each other. Justin wiped away Lauren’s
tears away with his thumb and kissed her passionately
on the lips.
“I never had a dream come true, until that day that I
found you.”
I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I’ve moved on
You’ll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You’re the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
A part of me will always be with you…
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