Chapter 7
Justin sat down on the guest bed and let the tears roll. His heart was in shambles and his spirit broken. He had given his love to Ashley, and he felt she had used that against him. He knew it was wrong of him to assume and not get the whole story, but his temper had gotten the most of him. He had the slightest feeling of guilt, but he burried it so deep under his temper and sorrow that it lay forgotten.
He slept a fitfull sleep, tossing and turing as his mind reeled with images of Ashley, and her smile. Her bright blue eyes, the way her hair fell in ringlits around her face.
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The next day Britney let Ashley sleep until 10 before she woke her up. Ashley's face was puffy and she looked as if she had been crying all night. Britney decided that she needed something to get her mind off her troubles, so the two girls had a day of pampering and shopping. For a few hours, everything was normal, and Ashley was happy. When the relization hit that she'd have to stay at Britney's again, she retreated into herself and became just a shell of her former person.
Now, a week later, as Britney stood on Justin's door step, her blood boiled as she thought of all the pain he had caused her best friend. Justin had refused to talk to Ashley or anyone else, meanwhile Ashley had gone into a depression, not speaking and barely eating at all.
"Hey Brit, what are you doing here?" Britney wasn't surprised to see Justin's eyes were also red, but she was saddened knowing he had been crying for the wrong reasons.
"I need to talk to you." She walked into the living room and waited until he sat down before she started. "OK, I'm gonna talk, and you listen until I'm finished, ok?
"Ashley came to my house last week. She told me that you had kicked her out becuase you suposedly found out that she had cheated on you. Well Justin, you acted way before you knew the truth. Yes, Ashley had been spending a lot of time with Jordan, but not becuase she was cheating on you. Ashley has been working her ass off on a Christmas present that she's putting together for you and the guys. Jordan was the only person qualified to help her, that's why she was with him.
"But you were to selfish, self-centered and Pig headed to get the facts first! You may have felt betrayed, but how do you think she feels Justin? You based your actions on something you HEARD, you didn't let her explain! She's devestated that she lost your trust, she's sorry for what she did! She shouldn't be sorry Justin, becuase she didn't break your trust, you broke hers!" Britney was now screaming, and Justin's face had long since gotten pale.
Britney glared at the blond man infront of her, wishing she could shoot daggers out of her eyes. "Well...say something!" She commanded.
"I...but...Oh God! What did I do?" He whined as the relization of his actions hit. He burried his face in his hands as a million thoughts ran through his mind. "Why didn't she tell me?"
"She tried!! She left so many messages, Justin she's been trying to get you to listen for a week!! But you wouldn't hear it!" She threw the facts in his face and Justin became neausous.
"Oh God..." He moaned. He felt like a jackass for what he did. He had thrown the love of his life out on an assumption he had made based on the fact she wasn't home. he had ruined someting so special to them, and it was all his fault. "Is she mad?"
"No, but she sure as Hell should be. She's hoping your not mad. Justin, that girl is something else. If it were me, I'd have a shot gun pointed at you to make you listen. But she's broken apart becuase she feels she broke your trust."
Justin closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. "What am I going to do?" His voice was raspy and quiet.
"You're going to make this up to her. She's getting the best damn Christmas present, and you're going to talk to her right now." She pointed at the door. "She's at my house." Justin still sat there, starring at the door. "GO!!" Britney yelled. Justin jumped to his feet and grabbed his keys, still not sure of what he was going to do to make this up to her.
~*~
Justin walked up the stairs to Britney's guest room after getting a lecture and some dirty looks from Lynn. He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. he prayed for the strength to do this, and for Ashley's forgivness. He quickly knocked on the door and waited for an answer.
Ashley heard the knock and wished it would go away. Britney had been nothing but the best, helping Ashley out, but she wanted to be alone. As the knock sounded again, a but more forcefully, Ashley sighed and walked to the door expecting Britney, but getting somehting totally different.
The blood drained from Ashley's face and her heart stopped. "Wha- what are you doing here?" She stuttered. Justin's look was grim and he pushed past her into the room.
"I came to talk." Was all he managed to get out. Seeing her again shot stabs of pain through his heart and soul. He knew the truth, but was still hurt. Hurt at what he had done, and the pain he caused the both of them.
Ashley closed the door and stayed on the opposite side of the room, afraid of what might happen if they 'talked'. She swallowed hard and avoided eye contact at all costs.
"Jules..." She winced at the nickname. Memories came flooding back and she tried to hold back the tears. "I'm....I'm sorry."
"You should be!" She spat out, not sure where the strength came from. "I can't believe you! You didn't give me a chance, and I can't believe you'd assume that I cheated on you! Justin I LOVE YOU! I gave you my virginity, doesn't that mean anything to you? How could you just push me away, leave me like that? How could to jump to such quick conclusions and not give me a chance? What, what were you looking for some easy way to say you didn't want me anymore, and this was the perfect solution? Huh? Or, or was I not pleasing you enough?" In her rage she didn't notice how close she came ot Justin. Their bodies a breath's width apart. All she knew was she had managed to express all the pent up emotions that she had been feeling for the past week.
Justin stepped back, not prepared for her sudden outburst of words. "I...I..." He started to stutter.
"I'm not finished yet." She spat. "Do you know why I was gone? I was putting together a video of your past performances and childhood tapes for you. I was working my ass off to get it done by Christmas. I spent hours with a guy that I have no taste for, waiting to get home to you. You were all I thought about every second I was away. You, your smile, your laugh. The way you'd kiss my neck and whisper you loved me in my ear. The way your hands managed to massage the tired muscles of my back, the way your cooking tasted after a long day. The way your kisses tasted, and your touch felt. How you could overwhealm every one of my senses and make me weak in the knees. The way you made my heart start beating so fast I swear it couls be heard around the world. The way you made me fall in love with you time and time again." tears were freely flowing down her cheeks now, but she didn't let up. She had been holding in all these feelings for so long, it felt good to finally have them in the open.
"I was confused at first. When times got tough, and we couldn't spend time with eachother. When my job consumed my waking hours, and you my sleeping ones. But it, in a way, was a heaven sent when I lost both of those. I had time with you, but you pulled away. I don't know what I did to make you push me away, but you did. I thought we'd work it out, we always have, but the first time you thought I was going to hurt you, you closed me off. You took the easy way out, so you didn't have to get burned. Justin, I Would NEVER do that to you! Don't you see it!?"
She sat down on the bed and roughly wipedthe tears from her face. Justin sat dumbfounded. Silence filled the room before Justin finally got the courage to speak.
"I don't know why I did it. I guess it was becuase I was scared. I had never fallen in love so hard and fast. I know we've been together for a while, but when I couldn't have you all the time, that's when I realized that I needed you more than you know. But I was afraid that something would happen, just like it always does, and I'd lose you. I couldn't lose you...so I pushed you away. I blamed you for my confusion, and I guess I needed a reason to justify those feelings." He was putting his heart on his sleeve, but it had to be done.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She softly whispered. They were dangerously close now, and Ashley could feel his breath on her neck and face.
"I didn't know how." He simply said. Then the urge over came him. He could smell her hair, and her skin. Her parted lips called to him and he gave in. Before she knew what was happening Justin's mouth was over hers and they shared a kiss they both had been wanting for a long time.
Ashley's head was spining, and she had to pull away. "Justin. We need to take this one step at a time. You can't just expect me to take you back in my arms and forget everything that happened do you?"
Justin leaned in and kissed her neck and softly nibbled the skin of her earlobe. "I know. We'll take it slow, but I've wanted to hold you ever since that night, and I don't know why I didn't." He kissed her again and Ashley pushed on his chest.
"Please. Justin, I do forgive you, but I can't forget right now. Please, while I still have my sanity. Let's just take time and think things through, have a long talk about where things are going to go from here."
"Do you still love me?" He asked, worry present on his face.
"I never stopped Justin." She smiled, the first genuine smile in a week.
The couple talked for hours, about what this meant. Where things were going to go, and they promised eachother that never again would something come between them. They nkew it would take time to re-build what they had, but they were both willing to take the steps necessary. Justin also promised that he'd get Jordan and rip his head off, although, he didn't tell Ashley this.
Chapter 8
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