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Chapter 22 - Guilt

The next few days Taylor spent trying to piece his songs back together. It was almost an impossible task, but what else did he have to do? He sat on the floor, moving the pieces around trying to connect words, verses, anything. He hated Ron so much doing this. He felt that this was worse than any physical punishment Ron could inflict on him. Music was his life, these songs kept him sane, now they were just crumpled up shreds of paper.

His mind often went back to Holden. He wondered how he was doing and he wondered when he would be back. In a way he hoped that he had injured Holden badly so he couldn't come back to complete health as awful as that sounds. He hated that he had to think thoughts like this. His mind was so scattered he didn't even know what he was thinking anymore.

Frustrated, he pushed some of the pieces of paper on the floor away and leaned back against the wall. He brought his knees up to his chest and tilted his head back. He felt a fresh set of tears come out of his eyes. Just then he heard someone enter the room. He quickly wiped his eyes and looked at the front of the room to see Andrew standing there.

"Hello Taylor." Andrew said. Taylor cast his gaze to the floor and ignored him. "I've come to check on your hand." Andrew walked closer to Taylor and noticed the many shreds of paper that lay on the floor near him. "What is this?" he asked, kneeling down to look at them.

"My sanity." Taylor said, now looking at the pieces of paper as well.

"Your sanity?" Andrew asked, confused.

"I had this notebook that I wrote all these songs in..." Taylor started to explain.

"Oh yes, I saw that notebook." Andrew interrupted. Taylor stared at him for a few seconds before he continued.

"Anyway, these are my songs. This is everything I've worked so hard on since I've been here. These songs were the only thing here that belonged to me. Ron ripped them up. Now they're just shreds of paper." Taylor said angrily. Andrew looked at him, trying to think of something to say.

"I'm sorry, Taylor." He said. Taylor just looked away and shook his head back and forth. Andrew stood up. "Come sit here so I can look at your hand."

Taylor stood up and walked over to the piano bench where he sat down. He held his hand out and watched attentively as Andrew unwrapped the bandage. When the bandage was off he inspected his hand.

"It's healing nicely. Everything looks ok. I'm going to put a new bandage on it now, ok?" Andrew said, pulling out another bandage from his pocket.

"Andrew?" Taylor said.

"Yeah?" Andrew said as he wrapped the new bandage around Taylor's hand.

"Did you take care of Holden when...the accident happened?" Taylor asked nervously. Andrew looked up into Taylor's eyes.

"Yes I did. I'm still watching him now." Andrew answered as he finished wrapping the bandage.

"How is he?" Taylor asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.

"He's doing well actually. He's healing. He's really lucky."

"How long do think it'll be before he's up and moving...when he's back to normal?" Taylor asked with his voice shaking just thinking about it.

"I think he'll be up and about in a month or so." Taylor's head shot up. He wasn't expecting it to be that soon.

"Andrew, you have to get me out of here. Holden will kill me when he's better!" Taylor said desperately. Andrew sighed.

"We've been through this. I can't do it." Andrew said, raising his voice.

"Why?!" Taylor yelled, "you're not like them! You're not! You can get me out of here. I'll tell my family you found me. You'll be a hero."

"Taylor I can't do it. You know what kind of a person Ron is. If he catches me trying to get you out of here, he'll kill me." Andrew said, looking over at the door making sure it was closed.

"So what about me?" Taylor yelled. Andrew was becoming frustrated.

"As I told you before, kid. You're nothing to me. I don't even know you. I'm not about to put my life on the line for some kid I don't even know!" Andrew yelled back. Taylor stood up. He was fed up with all of this.

"I'm not just 'some kid.' I'm sick of everyone here calling me 'kid.' My name is Taylor Hanson and what am I supposed to do? Sit here and take all this punishment while you just sit back and get your money? I can see through you Andrew. You don't want to do this anymore and you're scared!" Taylor yelled.

"Oh I'm scared?" Andrew said.

"Yes you're scared! You're scared that you like me. You're scared because you didn't want to get attached to me in any way and I know you want to help me!"

"I don't want to help you get out of here. I can't help you get out of here. Ron will have me killed!"

"So I'll just stay here and suffer." Taylor yelled taking a step closer to Andrew.

"We're done with this conversation!" Andrew yelled back at him.

"I hope you feel so guilty about this you can't sleep at night." Taylor said in a sinister tone. Andrew looked at him for a few seconds before he walked out of the room slamming the door. Taylor threw himself onto his bed and put his head in his pillow letting out a muffled scream. He flipped over and laid on his back, breathing in and out. He felt so angry. How could people be so selfish? How could Andrew let Ron control him like that? Then his mind drifted to Holden. What was Holden going to do to him when he was better? He hated everything. He laid still, trying to relax himself. There had to be a way out of this.

* * *


Andrew went back into his office, plopping himself down in the chair behind his desk. What was happening? He was hoping he wouldn't even have to meet Taylor throughout this whole thing because he was afraid this would happen. Taylor was right. He knew this was wrong and he was scared. He didn't understand what it was about Taylor that made him like him and almost care for him. The kid just had something about him. He knew he could get attached to him and he didn't want that to happen.

He looked over at the two CDs he had taken from Ron's office. He grabbed the brown one, pulling out the CD jacket and looked at it again. He felt terrible looking at the pictures of Taylor and his brothers as he turned through the pages. He wasn't supposed to feel this way. He was supposed to do what Ron told him. Just get paid and get out. He put the CD jacket back into the CD case then reached for the orange one and pulled out the CD jacket for that CD. He smiled seeing the pictures of Taylor looking much younger. He just seemed so innocent. He almost felt ashamed for being part of his kidnapping.

He pushed both CDs away. He had to get his mind off this. He reached in his desk and pulled out some papers. He started working away on his other business, trying to get Taylor off his mind.

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