Never Before Never Again
Recap:
She had given him one of the best nights of his life and she couldn’t really remember it? What did that say about him? She grabbed his hand, pulled it to her to kiss his palm and said sweetly, “But I am more than willing to give it a second go so I can remember details. That is if there is no problem with you!” He picked her up and ran to his room completely forgetting about the breakfast he had almost set up out on the table.
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AJ carried her into his bedroom and lay her gently down on the bed. Then climbed in beside her. He ran his hand softly up her arm, to her cheek, where he let his fingers rest. She lifted her head to meet his lips in a kiss. He began to kiss her with the same passion as the night before. She kissed back just as fiercely at first, before suddenly pushing him away from her.
This time it felt different. Much different. Uncomfortable even. She was no longer drunk. She felt her body’s reaction to him. And it was unsettling to her that she felt so strongly. She pushed softly on his chest. “AJ, I’m sorry. I can’t do this!” she told him. He looked at her confused. Just moments ago, she had asked for this. Hadn’t she? But he rolled over to sit up. “What’s wrong?” he asked her. “I am sorry. Can you just take me home?” was her answer.
“Are you sure you want to do that? What’s wrong? Did I do something?” he asked her. She was so out of it the night before; she didn't even remember how she had ended up with him in his house in the first place. “I can’t be here. Yes. Take me home please?” she asked again. He squinted his eyes in anger. “Sure. Whatever. Get dressed. I’ll take you home now!” were his words as he stormed out of the room.
Kim wondered what it was that he was so upset about. It was only sex between them the night before. Both were drunk, and neither was strong enough to stop the other. But she was beginning to wonder if she would have stopped had she been able to? She felt the reaction she had to just being in the same room as him. She stood up and grabbed her clothing from the night before. She sat back down on the bed for a moment before getting dressed. When she was fully clothed, she walked out to meet him near the door.
“Are you ready?” he snapped at her harshly. She nodded quickly. “What did I do to make him act so mean all of a sudden?” she asked herself. She walked out and got into the passenger side of the car quietly. The drive was a silent one. She didn’t need to tell him how to get to the house. He had remembered. When he had pulled into the driveway, she jumped out as fast as she could, sensing his anger towards her.
Before she could get into the house, AJ was out and after her. “Kim… wait?” he called. She stopped, unsure as to whether or not she should turn around. Deciding to, she turned to meet his sad eyes. “I am sorry. I never should have snapped at you. You didn’t deserve it.” He walked up to put his arms around her waist, pulling her in for a tight hug. He held her for a moment before letting go. “I think I understand why you wanted to come home. You told me last night that whatever happened it wasn’t you. I only hoped that… Oh never mind. Just forget about it.”
“AJ, I am sorry if I lead you on in any way. I honestly don’t even remember how I ended up with you at your house. I remember crying in the lot and you talking to me. You bringing me home. I know I somehow ended up at your house, but how I can’t recall. I know that I slept with you last night. But I don’t remember any details or anything. I know I wanted to be with you last night. But I can’t remember why. I am sorry. I just need to get away from you so I can think. It is nothing that you did,” she told him.
AJ reached into his pocket to pull out a small piece of paper. He looked at it once then handed it to her. “Here. I don’t want my meeting you last night to have only been for one night. I’d like to see you again. You know, as friends. And I want you to call me if you ever need me for anything! I don’t want to let you walk out of my life.” She smiled at him. She grabbed the paper and leaned to kiss him on the cheek. Before she pulled away from the small kiss, AJ had his arms around her, and met her lips with his own. He kissed her softly, and sweetly. As though this one kiss was one that meant something. But he wasn’t sure what.
Finally he pulled away from her. “I am going to go now!” he whispered to her. She gave a weak smile, sad at his leaving. She was still unsure as to these feelings she was having all of a sudden. She watched him walk to his car and get in. Before he was out of the driveway, she opened her door to go in. He stopped backing up, to watch her enter her house. He was wondering what would happen when she met the man who had betrayed and hurt her the night before. If he was even there still. But he told her he wouldn’t intrude. If she needed him, she had the number. Watching for only a second more, he left.
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Kim walked into her house, uncomfortable with the quietness for the time. She looked to the clock on the wall in the kitchen. Eleven am. He must be awake by now. Even if he did get drunk the night before, he never slept past ten. She walked through the house quietly. Suddenly she remembered. It was as if a door was opened. She remembered it all. The fight. Him leaving her at the bar. The other woman. Meeting AJ. Him bringing her home. What she found in her bed.
Then she remembered how AJ had made her feel in that short time. He had made her feel more wanted, loved, and desired, than she could remember Joe ever making her feel. And she thought about how wrong that was considering she had been with Joe for a little over a year now. And she knew AJ all of less than a full twenty-four hours even. “No,” she stated saying to herself. “I am only thinking AJ made me feel that way because I wanted to feel that. I just need to talk to Joe. We can work this out. I know we can!”
She reached her bedroom door and was reaching for the knob when she heard voices from inside. “I can’t believe she actually trusted me for so long. What would she do if she only knew that I have been with you for longer than her even?” Then shrill laughter filled the air. Kim stood there shocked. “What the hell?” she asked herself. She quietly crept open the door to see who was inside. She looked in to meet Joe lying in her bed with the same woman from last night. She stood there watching and listening for a minute.
“She did trust you for a while there huh? I can’t believe it took her this long to figure out she wasn’t the only one. I can’t imagine how she must feel?” the woman said. Then she laughed. “Not that I care really. I have had you for five years now and I know you aren’t going anywhere. You just needed a playmate for when this cat was away!” Then Kim watched as the other woman crawled over on top of Joe in the bed they shared. She closed the door slowly, not believing what she had just heard. She again ran from her house in tears.
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Kim got into her car after grabbing the keys from the table on her way out the door. She drove around with no exact destination at first. Not knowing what she going to do. Finally she spotted the lights to a nearby hotel on. She drove into the lot and parked the car. “Should I even give him the satisfaction of thinking I am leaving him with the house?” she thought to herself. Then decided to get her a room for a few days. She did need some time away to just think. She grabbed her purse and walked inside.
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Kim sat around that hotel room, just staring at the world around her. She wanted time to think about things. And think she did. For some reason, her mind would not get AJ out if it. She sat and thought about the one night she had shared with him. How he had made her feel compared to a man whom she was with for a lot longer. “What is it about him?” she asked herself numerous times. Finally she made a decision. One that would affect her entire life. She sat on the bed, and picked up the phone.
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AJ sat moping around for the next couple of days. No matter what he did, or tried to do, he couldn’t get her out of his head. “She was a one night thing. Damn, get her outta your head man!” he yelled at himself on more than one occasion. But no matter, she was always there, invading his every thought. Unable to handle it anymore, he said aloud, “I need to get out of this house. Get out and have a good time!” He ran to his room to change clothes, before heading out to the club nearby.
Just as he was closing the front door, he heard the faint sound of the phone ringing in the other room. He listened to it ring a third and fourth time, before deciding to just ignore it. Whoever it was will call back he thought to himself. He shut the door, shutting out the sound of the ringing phone, and jumped into his car to head out for a night of fun. He sat at the first red light, and asked himself, “What if it was finally her?” Then thought better of it. “I just want her to call so badly, I am imagining she’ll be on the other end of every phone call to my house.” He sighed deeply as the light turned green.
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She hung up the phone, and laid back on the bed. “What did I expect? That he would wait around for days for me to call? I don’t blame him!” she said to herself. She rolled over to lay there for a while, soon falling into a light sleep.
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AJ walked into the house a few hours later. He had drank himself drunk and he was not alone. The girl had herself wrapped around his middle. He held onto her clumsily. They walked into the room, when he suddenly pulled himself from her. He turned to look at her. “I think you need to leave now!” he said. The girl looked confused. This was his idea after all. “I don’t think you should be here. I wanted you here for all the wrong reasons. You better just go now!” he repeated to her. The girl nodded slowly, then turned and walked out of the pent house as quietly as she had entered.
He walked over and sat down on the sofa, resting his face in his hands. He sat there for a few minutes before realizing the flashing light on the phone, indicating he had a message. He went over and clicked the button to hear the messages. He listened to the first few messages and they confused him a little. All were the same. A person who sounded upset, but never said a word. He was about to just hit delete on the final message when a voice filled the room.
“I don’t even know why I am calling.. I’m sorry!” was all he heard before the phone was clicked off. He hit playback. That voice sounded hauntingly familiar. After listening to it a third time, he walked over and stared at the called ID. All of the phone calls had come from the same number. A number that he didn’t recognize. He lifted the phone to call it back. When a local hotel answered the other end, he was even more confused. “I am sorry. I am calling back a number that has called me several times today.” AJ explained to the woman whom answered his call.
He thought a few moments before asking, “Do you have anyone by the name of Kimberly staying at your residence?” The woman said it really wasn’t her place to release the type of information, but since he seemed to be trying to reach someone whom had called him, she would look. “Sir? We have one woman staying under that name. She is using the last name of McLean? Is this who you are looking for?” He laughed to himself. “She’s using my last name!”
“Ma’am, that I believe is exactly who I am looking for. Could you possibly connect me to her room?”
He sat listening to the phone ring a few times. Just as he was going to give up for now, and hang up, the other end was picked up. “Hello?” he heard her whisper into the phone. She knew who it was. She hadn’t talked to anyone else. And she knew he would find her after her calling. “Hey baby!” he whispered back, overjoyed to finally be talking to her. “AJ…..” she got out before breaking down into tears. AJ felt his heart break hearing her cry. “Baby.. I’m on my way!” he yelled into the phone before hanging up on her.
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Kim listened to him hang up on the other end. She held onto her phone a moment longer before hanging up though. She placed the phone on its hook, then walked to the door of her room. She unlocked it, then went and sat on the bed. Lying back, she closed her eyes to wait for him. He was finally coming to her. She lay there only minutes before falling into a light sleep. She never heard him knock on the door.
He opened the door slightly when she didn’t answer. He saw her sleeping peacefully in the middle of the bed. He was thinking about what to do when his instincts took over. He walked over to the bed and lay beside her, enveloping her in his arms. He pulled her close to him. He didn’t care if he woke her. He had wanted to hold her in his arms so badly the past few days.
Now that she lay before him, there was nothing stopping him. She remained asleep, but snuggled as close as possible to him. AJ soon fell asleep holding her.
She woke a few hours later to find herself trapped. She struggled to release herself, until she realized that AJ was with her. She was in his arms. She turned so she could still be in his arms but look at his face. She smiled. “This is how I am supposed to feel. This is how it is supposed to be!” she whispered. She lifted her hands to gently brush her fingers along his cheekbone. “Ohh AJ..” she said before lying her head on his chest. She lay there until he woke up.
AJ was afraid to move, unsure to whether she was awake or not. He felt her stir, and moved slightly. She felt his hesitance in moving, and looked up at him, to see he had woken up. “Hey,” she whispered. He smiled, and he pulled her closer to his body. “Hey sweetie!” he replied. She smiled to hear him talk to sweetly towards her. “Now that is what I like to see. Are you ready to talk now? Is that why you called me? Cause you wanted to talk?” he said all at once. Kim thought a moment before answering him.
“AJ, I do need to talk to you. I am not sure I am ready to though. I hope you can understand that. I know I have to, and that I will. Just be patient with me?” she asked. AJ hugged her close. “Baby, I am always going to be here. You ain’t getting’ rid of me so easily. You better get used to me being around!’ She laughed at him. And then whispered to herself, “If you only knew that I want you to always be there!” Little did she know that he had heard her.
She pulled herself from his arms, and sat up. She turned to look at him once, before climbing out of the bed. She walked across the room and sat in a chair. “I think I am ready to talk now,” she whispered. Looking across the room at him, she began. “As you know. I had gotten into a fight with Joe that night at the bar. We had been having a lot of problems. I even accused him of cheating on me. I didn’t have any proof, just a gut feeling that is usually correct. A lot of things happened that night that led up to me going home and then sleeping with you. The next morning, you took me to your room, and started kissing me. I pulled away from you. But I never told you why.”
After saying this much, she looked down at her hands. Knowing she was about to say a few things that most definitely would have a big impact on her life. “AJ, I pulled away from you because I wasn’t completely drunk. I felt the way I was reacting to you. I felt it, liked it, and got scared. I am with Joe; I shouldn’t have been reacting that way. It was only supposed to be sex. Not make me feel things I don’t remember ever feeling before.” After hearing these words, AJ crossed the room to her. “Kim…” he started, but she cut him off. “I am not done yet. I have only just begun.”
AJ sat on the floor at her feet to finish listening to her talk. “My going home that morning, it was one of the worst decisions of my life. One, because I left you behind. Two, because of what happened when I got there.” She went on to tell him of finding the house a little to quiet, and then when she did find Joe. AJ felt himself growing more hatred for the man after each word she spoke. He had never really hated anyway until now. How could anyone treat her the way she was telling he had? She finished by saying that she just shut the door as if she weren’t even there and then ended up here.
He took her hands into his. “Baby, there is nothing wrong with you. You are perfect. There is something seriously wrong with this guy. He doesn’t deserve you anyway.” She smiled down at him. “Can I finish please?” she asked kindly. He laughed. “I’m sorry. Go ahead!” “I came here to think. Think about what I want to do now. I know I am not going back to him. But I didn’t know what to do. I thought time away would help. Well I sat here and thought. But it did no good for me.” AJ looked confused. “What do you mean?”
“I came here to get away from everything. I needed to figure out what to do. And the only thing I could find myself thinking about,” she paused, as she looked deep into his eyes. “Was you!” she finished. He sat there speechless. She looked away from him, thinking she had just made a big mistake. She went to stand to walk away from him, but he pulled her to his lap. And he held her close. “Baby, I have not been able to think of anything else since I left you at your doorstep that morning. It was killing me that you never called and asked me to come back and get you. But what did I expect?”
She turned so her face was close to his. “What do you want from me?” she asked him softly. He cupped her face in his hands, “I don’t want anything from you. All I want IS you!” he said as he met her lips in a sweet, long, anticipated kiss. She pulled away from him after a few moments. “AJ, I don’t know how, but I think you managed to make me fall in love with you in that one night! I love the way you treat me, the way you make me feel. I have been able to think of nothing other than asking you if you thought we could give this a shot. If you and I could be together.”
He leaned his forehead on hers. “Kimberly, as I told you that morning. I knew then it was a one-night thing for you. But even then, I wanted it to be more. I wanted to be with you than. And I want more than anything to be with you now!” He pulled her into another intensifying kiss. This one lasted much longer. She pulled away from him to stand. She reached down to pull him to stand beside her. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she whispered into his ear, “The first time was sex. I want more. AJ, make love to me?” He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed.
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