• Translate into pimp, skinhead, and other dialects
• Or translate into Swedish chef, jive, Smurf, and yet more dialects
• Generate a random postmodern essay
• Feed the postmodern essay generator into the psyclops translator, set for "pimp"
• Read the London Times translated into "skinhead"
• Read the Minneapolis Star Tribune translated into "Swedish chef"

Language games 2
Run your favorite prose through Babelfish 10 times and see what comes out. Seek perfect sentences: those that survive the translation process intact. So far we have found:

• It could not translate.
• It is time.

"Where would I be without IBM?" survives 9 translations intact but fails on the tenth. "He is a man of the people" is unusual in that the tenth iteration, "He is a common man," is both grammatical and more-or-less equivalent in meaning to the original.

Language games 3

• If you don't need a whole postmodern essay, generate a postmodern essay title
• Generate a bad Hemingway story or a Dave Barry column
• Random name generator for story characters and other uses (can set obscurity level)
• Random name generator for fantasy novel characters (many features)
• Generate an A-Team episode
• Zen koan generator (be sure to click the button)
• Generate names and attributes of superheroes
• Generate synopses of late-night TV movies
• Put your call on hold and try the Web Economy Bullshit Generator or an entire randomly generated tech industry press release
• Generate a random haiku summary of a political stump speech
• Generate your own Alanis Morrisette lyrics or country-western song
• Generate a random conspiracy theory
• Be supplied with a random Shakespearean insult or a random Biblical curse; generate an ambiguous employee review

Quislings

• Find your Star Wars twin (long questionnaire but seems to have research data behind it)
• A man's guide to dressing (interactive quiz)
• Let a mood be chosen for you
• Drinking game for regular viewers of This Old House or New Yankee Workshop

• Hamsterdance (dancing hamsters)
• Hamster Blast (exploding dancing hamsters)
• Dancing baby (megasite)
• Dancing George W. Bush (with fancy moves)

Virtual cowtipping

• Official online cowtipping site (8 cows)
• Virtual cowtipping (1 cow)
• Little Joe's cowtipping (1 cow, online confessional)
• Marius's cowtipping page (1 cow, untipping feature)
• Virtual cow tipping (4 cows, flash for more efficient tipping)

Animal magnetism

• ASCII art cows (both small and large)
• Former ISP cow.net (with photo of site owner in cow suit confronting real cow)
• Bonsai Kitten
• Sound effects for your cat
• The tragic tale of the fate of two tacky stuffed bunnies

Official State Baked Goods
Note: Most states have not yet designated a state muffin, cookie, or dessert.

• Massachusetts:
  • Muffin: Corn [statute] [recipe]
  • Cookie: Tollhouse [statute] [recipe]
  • Dessert: Boston cream pie [statute] [recipe]
  • Donut: Boston cream donut (proposed) [SB1606] [recipe] [more]
• Minnesota
  • Muffin: Blueberry [statute] [recipe]
• New Mexico:
  • Cookie: Bizcochito [statute] [recipe - scroll to p. 12]
• New York:
  • Muffin: Apple [statute] [recipe]
• Pennsylvania:
  • Cookie: Chocolate chip cookie (proposed) [SB 373] [recipe]; Nazareth sugar cookie (proposed) [HB 1892] [recipe]
• South Dakota:
  • Dessert: Kuchen [statute] [recipe]
• Vermont:
  • Pie: Apple [statute] [recipe]
• Wisconsin:
  • Muffin: Cranberry (proposed 1988) [statute] [recipe]
• Farmer's Almanac campaign for a national dessert (apple pie is the leading contender)