HE HAD MENTIONED HIS IDEA FOR A BACKSTREET BOYS COMIC BOOK FOR THE THIRD TIME THAT DAY AND DIANA HAD DECIDED TO WHIP OUT HER SKETCHBOOK TO SEE IF THEY'RE POSSIBLY WHAT NICK WAS LOOKING FOR. APPARENTLY, THEY ARE.
"GEEZ, YOU THINK YOU CAN HELP ME DRAW
UP SOME IDEAS?" NICK ASKS, LOOKING AT DIANA'S TRUE ARTISTRY WITH FASCINATION.
THERE WAS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT THOUGH, WHEN IT CAME TO ART, DIANA HAD A UNIQUE TALENT. PEOPLE HAD BEEN TELLING HER THAT FOR YEARS. IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE FACT THAT SHE WAS NOW PART OF THE ENTERTAINMENT
BUSINESS, SHE'D BE PURSUING A CAREER AS A CARTOONIST.
"SURE, WHY NOT?" DIANA SAYS COOLLY, GRABBING A PENCIL OFF THE FLOOR AND INSTANTLY STARTING TO SKETCH. NICK LOOKS ON IN WONDER AS A.J. AND ESTHER COME FROM THE BEDROOM.
"I HATE SHAKESPEARE." ESTHER LAUGHS, THROWING A.J.'S "HAMLET" BOOK BEHIND HER. A.J. CATCHES IT MID-AIR AND CLUTCHES IT TIGHTLY. "I'VE HATED HIM
EVER SINCE I HAD TO DO HIS PLAYS IN MY DRAMA CLASS. HE HAS A SEVERE SPEECH IMPEDIMENT."
"CORRECTION," A.J. DEFENDS, OPENING THE BOOK, "I WAS THE ONE WITH THE SPEECH IMPEDIMENT. SHAKESPEARE, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS MERELY SPEAKING THE OLD ENGLISH TONGUE. IT'S HOW THEY SPOKE BACK THEN." HE THEN BEGINS TO RECITE A QUOTE FROM THE BOOK. "TO BE OR NOT TO BE.... THAT IS THE QUESTION!"
"OH, PLEASE." ESTHER MOANS, HEADING OVER TO THE SINK, HANDS CUPPED OVER HER EARS. "TO BE QUIET WOULD BE JUST FINE."
A.J. LAUGHS AND TAPS ESTHER LIGHTLY ON THE HEAD WITH THE BOOK. SHE RETALIATES BY RIPPING IT FROM HIS
HANDS AND RUNNING OUT THE BUS DOOR WITH IT.
"YEAH, YOU JUST RUN. YOU FORGET, I HAVE "THE TAMING OF THE SHREW" IN MY SUITCASE!" HE YELLS BEHIND HER. HE CHUCKLES AND SLIDES OVER TOWARDS THE KITCHEN TABLE.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?" HE ASKS DIANA, PLOPPING DOWN BESIDE HER AND NICK. HE LOOKS INTENTLY AT THE DRAWING DIANA HAS JUST SKETCHED AND SMILES. THERE, ON THE PAPER, IS A 3-D SKETCH OF THE BSB LOGO. "THAT'S A
GREAT DRAWING." A.J. COMPLIMENTS, LOOKING INTO DIANA'S EYES. "YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD, YOU KNOW?"
"T-THANKS." DIANA STAMMERS, FINDING HERSELF SUDDENLY VERY NERVOUS. SHE SWALLOWS HARD AND ASKS, "DO YOU WANT IT?"
"ME?" A.J. ASKS. DIANA NODS. "YOU BET." A.J. REPLIES WITH A SMILE. HE CAREFULLY RIPS THE PAPER FROM THE SKETCHBOOK AND OBSERVES IT AGAIN.
"THANKS." HE FINISHES AND WALKS BACK TO THE BEDROOM, STILL ADMIRING THE DRAWING. DIANA'S EYES FOLLOW HIM THE WHOLE WAY.
AND SHE CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE....
"WE WERE JUST DOWN AT THE STUDIO, YOU GUYS," BRIAN EXPLAINS, AS THE GROUP EATS LUNCH. HE GETS UP TO GET A SODA FROM THE REFRIGERATOR AND CONTINUES,
"APPARENTLY, THEY CANCELED OUR AUTOGRAPH SIGNING, BUT MOVED OUR SCHEDULED INTERVIEWS AND PRESS CONFERENCES TO THIS WEEK, DUE TO THE CANCELLATION OF SOME OF OUR PERFORMANCES." HE PAUSES TO TAKE A BITE OF HIS SANDWICH.
"J SAID THAT DUE TO THE HOLD-UP IN OUR TOUR, AND THE FACT THAT WE HAVE THE DAY OFF, HE'S SENDING OVER SOME FAN MAIL FOR US TO LOOK THROUGH AND ANSWER."
"I HATE THE FAN MAIL." HOWIE GRIPES UNDER HIS BREATH, SETTING DOWN HIS SODA. LAURA TURNS TO FACE HIM, A LOOK OF DISBELIEF UPON HER FACE.
"WHY?" SHE ASKS. "I THOUGHT YOU ALL LOVED YOUR FANS."
"NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M GETTING AT." HOWIE RESPONDS. "I HATE IT BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH OF IT, WE CAN'T ANSWER IT ALL, AND A LOT OF TIMES, PEOPLE DON'T GET WRITTEN BACK." KEVIN TURNS AND NODS HIS HEAD IN AGREEMENT.
"HE'S RIGHT YOU KNOW." A.J. ADDS, FINISHING THE LAST OF HIS SALAD. "SO MANY FANS WRITE AND WE FEEL DISCOURAGED LIKE NOTHING WHEN WE CAN'T WRITE
THEM ALL BACK."
"HEY, YOU GUYS," ESTHER SAYS LOOKING OUT THE BUS WINDOW FROM HER SEAT AT THE TABLE, "SPEAKING OF, I THINK THAT FAN MAIL'S HERE." EVERYONE LOOKS OUT
THE WINDOW AND GAPES.
PARKED OUTSIDE ARE THREE POSTAL TRUCKS, FILLED TO
COMPACITY WITH BAGS OF MAIL.
BRIAN THROWS THE REMAINDER OF HIS SANDWICH DOWN ON HIS PLATE AND SIGHS. "LET'S GET STARTED." HE SAYS, GETTING UP FROM THE TABLE.
"OK?" DIANA SAYS AS EVERYONE HELPS TO GO THROUGH THE FAN MAIL. "NICK?" SHE ASKS, TURNING TOWARDS HIM, A LETTER IN HER HAND. "THIS FAN WANTS A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR." SHE LOOKS AT THE LETTER, A CONFUSED LOOK ON HER FACE.
"I HAVE TWO PEOPLE ASKING FOR THE SAME THING." CHIMES LAURA, HOLDING UP TWO LETTERS.
"I HAVE A LETTER ASKING FOR SOMETHING OF NICK'S," BRENDA ADDS, HER LIP CURLED IN DISGUST, "BUT IT ISN'T HAIR THEY WANT."
"HOLD ON A SEC," NICK REPLIES, GETTING UP FROM AND CAREFULLY MAKING HIS WAY OVER THE SMALL PILE OF MAIL TO THE BEDROOM. HE'S GONE FOR A FEW MINUTES, THEN RETURNS WITH A SMALL ZIPLOC BAG IN HIS HANDS.
"WHAT'S THAT?" ESTHER QUESTIONS, LOOKING UP FROM THE LETTER SHE'S READING.
"IT'S HIS HAIR." BRIAN EXPLAINS TO THEM ALL. "NICK GETS SO MANY REQUESTS FOR LOCKS OF HIS HAIR HE JUST STARTED SAVING IT EVERY TIME HE GETS HIS HAIR CUT." THEY ALL WATCH NICK AS HE CAREFULLY EXTRACTS CHUNKS OF BLONDE HAIR FROM THE BAG AND PLACES THEM TENDERLY INTO THREE EMPTY ENVELOPES.
"THERE YOU GO." HE SAYS, HANDING THE ENVELOPES TO DIANA AND LAURA.
BRIAN TURNS AROUND, ROLLING HIS EYES. "AS YOU CAN SEE, IT'S A VERY SACRED CEREMONY." HE CAN'T HELP BUT LAUGH IN A SHRILL VOICE.
"DO YOU ALL HAVE THESE RITUALS WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING PARTS OF YOUR BODY WITH YOUR FANS?" BRENDA ASKS AS SHE OPENS ANOTHER ENVELOPE. SHE LOOKS UP
TO SEE EVERYONE SNICKERING AND FIGURES THEY TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY. "NOT THAT WAY." SHE GROWLS, THOUGH SHE WEARS A SMILE WHEN SAYING IT. "NEVER
MIND." SHE FINALLY GIVES IN WHEN THE SNICKERING DOESN'T CEASE. "YOU ARE ALL SICK AND DEPRIVED, YOU KNOW THAT?"
"UM, KEVIN," LAURA ASKS, LOOKING UP FROM ANOTHER LETTER, "THIS FAN WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU....."
"NEITHER." KEVIN CUTS OFF SIMPLY, NOT LOOKING UP FROM HIS LETTER. WHEN HE NOTICES LAURA GAPING AT HIM HE ASKS, "THEY ARE ASKING IF I LIKE DATING BLONDES OR BRUNETTES, RIGHT?"
LAURA SHAKES HER HEAD, THEN BURSTS INTO HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER AS SHE READS THE QUESTION ALOUD, "DO YOU WEAR BOXERS OR BRIEFS?" EVERYONE ERUPTS INTO
FITS OF LAUGHTER AS KEVIN SLOWLY TURNS A DARK SHADE OF RED.
"THEY ALWAYS ASK ME DO I LIKE BLONDES OR BRUNETTES." KEVIN INSISTS IN A SMALL VOICE, "AND I ALWAYS TELL THEM NEITHER; THAT PERSONALITY IS MORE OF A
FACTOR." BUT NOBODY CAN SEEM TO STOP LAUGHING.
"SURE KEV. FESS UP NOW THE TRUTH IS OUT!" BRENDA SQUEAKS BETWEEN GIGGLES.
"WHY KEVIN, I NEVER KNEW!" BRIAN SAYS IN A SHRILL VOICE, DOUBLING OVER ON TO THE MAIL.
"YOU THINK IT MAY RUN IN THE FAMILY?" A.J. ASKS NICK LOUDLY, WHICH ONLY CAUSES EVERYONE TO LAUGH HARDER. BRIAN ONLY SHRUGS HIS EYEBROWS IN RESPONSE. EVERYONE CROAKS.
"OK, YOU GUYS, CHILL." KEVIN COMMANDS AS EVERYONE QUIETS DOWN. "WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF FAN MAIL TO READ."
"MACARONI AND CHEESE."
"SCUBA DIVING IS THE BEST."
"HEY, LOOK YOU GUYS, SOMEONE SENT ME SOME COCKTAIL WIENERS!"
"SHAKESPEARE IS DA BOMB....SHUT UP ESTHER, NO ONE ASKED YOU."
"I BITE MY NAILS CONSTANTLY."
"THAT'S SICK!"
"HE'S MR. BIG BROTHER."
"MCDONALD'S CHEESEBURGERS."
"LAURA, YOU WANT ONE OF THESE COCKTAIL WIENERS? THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD!"
"THAT'S OKAY, HOWIE. I'M NOT A WIENER PERSON."
"I ALWAYS CRY AT MOVIES."
"JOURNEY'S "OPEN ARMS" WOULD HAVE TO BE MY FAVORITE SONG."
"I'M BOTH A LEO AND A VIRGO."
"I WAS DOPEY IN THE PLAY AND GOT RAVE REVIEWS!"
"NICKY, YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT A COCKTAIL WIENER?"
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE COCKTAIL WIENERS?!"
"A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR."
"HEY NICK, THROW ANOTHER PIECE OF YOUR HAIR THIS WAY, HUH?"
"THEY CALL ME THE PEACEMAKER."
"HE'S SCARED OF THE DARK."
"AM NOT!"
"SURE, MR. "HEY YOU GUYS, IT'S DARK IN HERE" !"
THEY CONTINUE TO ANSWER MAIL ALL AFTERNOON. AROUND 10 OR SO, EVERYONE GOES TO BED EXCEPT FOR KEVIN AND LAURA, WHO CONTINUE TO ANSWER MAIL.
"WELL, I THINK I BETTER HIT THE SACK." KEVIN YAWNS AROUND MIDNIGHT, GETTING UP FROM THE FLOOR, CAREFUL NOT TO WAKE A.J. AND HOWIE WHO SNOOZE PEACEFULLY ON THE SLEEPER SOFA.
"WAIT, JUST ONE MORE QUESTION." LAURA SAYS, LOOKING UP FROM HER LAST LETTER. "THIS GIRL WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU'LL GO OUT WITH HER."
LAURA LOOKS UP AT KEVIN, WHO NOW STANDS BEFORE HER, SHIRTLESS AND ABOUT TO GO TO BED, IN THE DIMLY-LIT BUS.
HE THINKS FOR A SPLIT SECOND THEN ANSWERS, "TELL
HER, I'M SORRY, BUT I ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE." AND WITH THAT, HE SMILES AT LAURA AND LEAVES THE ROOM.
DIANA ROLLS OVER IN HER BUNK AGAIN, TRYING HER BEST TO GET COMFORTABLE. SHE CAN'T SEEM TO GET TO SLEEP, THOUGH SHE'D BEEN TRYING FOR OVER THREE HOURS. ASSUMING DEFEAT, SHE GETS OUT OF BED AND GOES TO SIT AT THE KITCHEN TABLE.
SHE'S SURPRISED TO SEE A.J. ALSO UP AND SITTING AT THE TABLE, DRINKING A GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE AND WATCHING A VIDEO OF THE BOYS MOST RECENT EUROPEAN TOUR CONCERT IN DUBLIN, IRELAND. SHE WALKS UP TO HIM QUIETLY, AS SO NOT TO WAKE HOWIE, WHO'S STILL SLEEPING LIKE A BABY ON THE SOFA.
"YOU COULDN'T SLEEP EITHER?" SHE WHISPERS ONCE SHE GETS CLOSE ENOUGH FOR HIM TO HEAR HER. HE JERKS, STARTLED BY HER. "SORRY." SHE SAYS AS SHE SLIDES INTO THE SEAT OPPOSITE OF HIM.
"YOU SCARED ME." HE WHISPERS, THE COLOR FROM THE T.V. SCREEN ILLUMINATING HIS FACIAL FEATURES IN THE DARK. HE TAKES A SIP OF HIS ORANGE JUICE AND SIGHS. "WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING UP?" HE ASKS.
"COULDN'T SLEEP." SHE REPLIES, RESTING HER HEAD IN HER HANDS. "YOU?"
"WELL," HE BEGINS, "I REALLY COULDN'T SLEEP EITHER." HE TURNS TO LOOK AT HOWIE AND CONTINUES, "NOT TO MENTION, HOWIE'S KEEPIN' ME AWAKE AS IT IS."
"HOW'S THAT?" DIANA ASKS.
SUDDENLY, HOWIE BURSTS INTO MUMBLED CONVERSATION.
"OH..." DIANA LET'S HER VOICE TRAIL.
"HE'S BEEN MUMBLING SOMETHING ABOUT COCKTAIL WIENERS ALL NIGHT." A.J.GRIPES IN A WHISPER. "THAT'S THE LAST TIME HE EATS THEM BEFORE HE BUNKS
WITH ME AGAIN."
HOWIE MUMBLES AGAIN, THIS TIME, LOUD ENOUGH FOR DIANA TO HEAR HIM, "ALL THESE COCKTAIL WIENERS, FOR ME? MMM-FMMM, THEY'RE SO GOOD. DELICIOUS..."
DIANA AND A.J. LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SNICKER. "HEY, YOU WANT TO REALLY GET HIM?" A.J. LAUGHS, GETTING UP FROM THE TABLE AND GOING TO THE PILE OF LUGGAGE IN THE FAR CORNER OF THE BUS. HE SILENTLY DIGS THROUGH THE
SUITCASES AND BAGS, UNTIL HE FINALLY FINDS WHAT HE'S LOOKING FOR; HOWIE'S BAG. HE LOOKS UP AT DIANA AND GIVES HER A DEVIOUS SMILE AS HE PULLS OUT HOWIE'S TAPE RECORDER.
DIANA COVERS HER MOUTH SO AS NOT TO LAUGH AND WATCHES AS A.J. PRESSES THE RECORD BUTTON AND CAREFULLY SETS IT NEXT TO HOWIE'S HEAD. MUCH TO THEIR HOPE, HOWIE STARTS MUMBLING AGAIN.
"OH, COCKTAIL WEENIES!" HE EXCLAIMS ALMOST LOUD ENOUGH TO WAKE THE ENTIRE BUS, WHILE DIANA AND A.J. BOTH LOOK ON IN DELIGHT.
"MMM, MMM, LOVE THE COCKTAIL WEENIES! MMMFFF, GRRR, MORE...MO..MORE COCKTAIL WEENIES. LIKE, OH, MM, LIKE EM." IT'S ALL DIANA CAN DO TO KEEP FROM LAUGHING ALOUD; IN A SITUATION THAT FUNNY.
HE ROLLS OVER UNEASILY IN THE BED AND MUMBLES SOME
MORE. "AHHHH, COCKTAIL WIENERS." HE SIGHS BEFORE LETTING OUT THE MOTHER OF ALL BURPS.
DIANA BURSTS INTO SILENT LAUGHTER AS A.J. PRESSES THE STOP BUTTON ON THE RECORDER AND SLIPS IT BACK INTO HOWIE'S BAG.
"HOW I'D LOVE TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL WHEN HE HEARS THIS!" A.J. WHISPERS LOUDLY, SITTING BACK DOWN AT THE TABLE, CHUCKLING SILENTLY. DIANA SMILES AND YAWNS. THE INCIDENT MUST HAVE MADE HER SLEEPY, AND SHE ALMOST HATES HERSELF WHEN SHE TELLS A.J. SHE'S GOING BACK TO BED.
"GOODNIGHT." DIANA CALLS SOFTLY, OPENING THE DOOR TO THE BEDROOM.
"SWEET DREAMS." A.J. WHISPERS BACK. THOUGH DIANA DOESN'T SEE IT, HE SILENTLY MOUTHS THE WORDS "I LOVE YOU" AS SHE SHUTS THE DOOR BEHIND HER.
