(Remember, if it's in green, I put it there)
"Those of us who are not Christian can NOT go to the mall,
not even to pick up a new CD or anything,
because the mall is clogged with annoying
last-minute Christmas shoppers.
You have to kill someone to get a parking space,
You have to knock people down to get inside,
and when all of these jackasses get inside,
they stand around and get in your way.
Happy Holidays with an "s" drives me crazy, and you know why.
This is also the time of year when ignorant
Christians ask me what us Jews do on Thanksgiving.
I tell them we eat turkey and watch football.
Christmas Elevator Music
Christmas 'Hold' Music
Christmas Oldies
Christmas Jazz (well, that's not too bad)
Commercials, damn them.
Having to pre-order a product because
it happens to come out just in time for Christmas.
People thinking Hannukkah is ANYTHING similar
to Christmas just because they're in the same month-
as if Hannukkah was the Jewish Christmas.
All these I despise and more."
-from "Nathon Alexander"
Nathon's homepage "Commercials I Hate" is one of my favorite sites. Hilarious and oh-so satisfying! And the best guestbook around! Shouldn't YOU go there NOW? Wait, I mean, stay here. Then, later, go there.
[2]
"just wanted to drop you a note because, I saw your site and I wanted
to tell you that I, too, felt much the way you do. But then something
happened to me. This note is not meant as a flame in any way. In fact,
I am hoping that by sharing my story with you I might be able to help
you past some of the hatred that MANY have at this time of year.
I used to hate Christmas for the commercialism. I am also not a
Christian, so I figured 'why would I celebrate this stinking holiday?'
But there are many reasons to celebrate at this time of year. The
"Christmas Tree' was taken from a pagan holiday. The winter solstice is
right around christmas too. Time for the days to finally get longer!!
Memories of times as a child that I hold with me at all times, people
who have passed on, surprising people, whether it be with purchased
gifts or just doing nice things for them. One year instead of
purchasing silly gifts for people, I gave them all something I made,
with a card that said 'this gift brought to you with love from myself'
(course, I used my name, but I don't want my name ending up on your web
site :)
Anyway, my point is this. Christmas is whatever you make it. It really
isn't just a Christmas holiday anymore. Haunika (I cannot spell it to
save my life, sorry) is around the same time of year, as is the winter
solstice, as is new years. This is a time of joy. Finally we are
heading towards spring and sunshine again, we have frosty mornings,
scarves, warm fires to sit by with significant others ;) and a time to
remember who are friends our and to celebrate the good things in our
lives. This is what I get from the Christmas holiday. Sure we are
innundated with Christmas decorations from early October, and sure it is
annoying. But if you just ignore it until you WANT to (IF you want to)
and don't let it detract from whats really important. Friends, love,
and happiness. :)
I hope you don't flame me, but I am ready. You can bring it on, but it
wont change my well wishes to you for the coming year. :) Hope things
get better for you!"
-from "Peaches"
Ok, first of all, I want to thank you for your concern and input. And now I will grill you over the flames of my hatred. No. But really, I don't want to get past my dislike of the season. I like my dislike. Yes, good can be found in Christmas, reasons to love it(for some people, anyway), but that doesn't change the other stuff, and the reasons to loathe it, and this site expresses *those* sentiments. But even if you love Christmas, you might like my site, it's crammed full of humor(doesn't anyone see?). But anyway....
Have a, you know, a, uh, one of those things having to do with being in a good mood and it being that time of year.
[3] "I work in retail and every day I swear that I should become Jewish.
Then I can claim that I shouldn't work during the Xmas period because
that would be supporting the religious belief that as a Jew I do not
follow. However, I do not think that I could survive the year without
the overtime that I get paid during the Xma retail rush of Oct to very
very late Xmas! YES, I am a hypocrite. I can't help it, the Xmas
commercialism pays for my rent. Please don't print my entire name.
I need the job. Even though it takes a stiff drink or two to wind down at
night, the pay is still worth the bickering, hassling, bargaining,
arguing, shoving, pushing, insulting and false cheer of this most
joyous and wonderous time of the year. Bah humbug. I say. But I
still hope I get lots of presents!!!!! Hah" -from "Heidi"
[5] "I also hate Christmas generally and love Halloween. I thought you might like to see part of an e-mail I
recently sent to a friend. We work together and one of our fellow peons has
taken to playing a Christmas tape of cheesy, tinsely music ALL DAY LONG!
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! We are of course plotting revenge. Here is
the list of ideas so far:
stereo wars leap to mind. My NIN can take her on!
posters: 1. 'Santa is a figment of the coca-cola company's imagination'
2. 'Christmas is a capitalist plot'
ear plugs or hands over ears while chanting 'la la la I can't hear you'
when forced to pass the toxic zone
scream ENOUGH! UNCLE!
shave my head, drool incessantly, quote obsessively from the Anarchist's
Cookbook / go on stress leave placards:
1. 'I repent damn it'
2. 'Bombs not Muzak'
make up a new song by twisting the lyrics and paying no attention to the
original meter on purpose.
phone in bomb threats each time her machine powers up / throw the circuit
breaker / pull the fire alarms / have a secret society dedicated to doing
all three simultaneously
call the human rights commission
one vicious dog and a spray that smells like cat meat ought to do the trick
airbrush subliminal sex and drug messages up and down the hallway. stash
the evidence in her car / anonymous tip to the authorities
Aeko, the Italian hitman with the Japanese name.
play hopscotch on the dark blue hallway squares to the beat. wear tap
shoes.
suggest that if she wants to play rough that a safeword system ought to be
adopted
start a rumour that the tape was Paul Bernardo's favourite and that he used
to listen to it ALL THE TIME TOO
kurt, feeling just a little more merry
cheery even
a twinkle in his eye
and a belly of laughs
ho
hoho
hohoho
hohohoho
ho" The ho ho hos were sent in the shape of a tree.
-from "Kurt" Cheesy Christmas music all day long? The woman is sadistic! And I have to wonder about poor "Kurt" with his last few lines and that ho thing.....the signs of a dementing mind? Get out while you still can!
