(green type is mine)
"i hate x-mas because of the green paste we had to rub on the sidewalk on
chrismas eve. i still shudder thinking about my dad with the lighter in his
hand reciting some jibberish while igniting the paste. then we'd usually hide
in the toybox until daylight.
thank god there's not a chimney in the crate i live in!"
-from "Elvis Shortliver" I still can't tell if this makes sense and I'm missing it, or if it's MEANT to be insane.
[2]
"I am having a horrible Christmas season. Every year it gets worse. This year
both my grandparents are in the hospital, and my uncle just died. We are not
having our usual Christmas dinner. My boyfriend is very sick with a stomach
virus, and I can't go see him. I know I'm going to get sick too. The worst
part is that we have no spare money to waste, and my parents hate me. They
have been warring with me for a whole year. I hate the Holidays."
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. It sounds really awful. Hang in
there. Try to get out some of those frustrations,(did you see my surviving
christmas page? I just added a couple more) and take special care of yourself.
Good luck.
[3]
-from "Lindsey"
I think I will answer your question with a few of my own. Don't YOU have better things to do than surf the 'net? Don't you have a life? And if you're going to spend your time on the computer, how come you aren't doing something important, like researching Uranus in order to find a cure for dup?
Don't you have better things to do than find MY page? And then take the time to view it? And then send me e-mail about it, first telling me you love it, THEN critisizing me for MAKING it?
WELL?
JUSTIFY, JUSTIFY, JUSTIFY YOURSELF TO ME!
THE JUDGEMENT COMETH!
And you're right, why rant and rave about anything? I think I'll just soak it all up in
a big, silent, smiley faced spunge, and go about about my day, everyday, forever! Ha, HA!
I could go on, but I think I've got better things to do......like comb the
hairs on my dog's balls.
[4]
"I thought I was the only aberrant thinker. Glad to find a kindred
spirit. You have expressed my own sentiments well."
-from "Jimmy Dean"
I aim to please:) I always knew other people were sickened by this season. This site is about expressing that and (hopefully) having a good laugh with it. By the way, I'm really glad they stopped showing those commercials with you and the sausage.
"Who is this Santa Claus character? Why would I want him coming into my
house? At night? Down a chimney? (Isn't that breaking and entering?)
What is this thing he's doing with little kids? "Get up her on Santa's
lap . . . let me give you some candy . . . let's take some pictures . .
. heh, heh, heh . . . " He sounds like a pervert to me. And look at him:
he obviously hasn't heard of fat-free. Wonder what his cholestrol
numbers are? He's obviously asking for a stroke or heart attack. And
what's this with him and elves? There's something aberrant about an old
man who wants to keep company with a bunch of small males who wear
pointy shoes and bells at the end of pointy hats. This talk about a Mrs.
Claus--obviously a cover. He should be outed! And what's with the
animals? I'm talking about those reindeer. An old man whose primary
companions are small males and four-footed creatures sounds
over-the-edge to me. I don't want him moving to my neighborhood. And
I've seen some picture of this fat guy smoking. I tell ya, he's bound to
have heart trouble. I'm of the opinion that he's lecherous."
-from "Jimmy Dean"
Jimmy Dean 2: Out For Santy
