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<< This is Plain Stupid, But Then--It's A Blonde Joke!
A blonde was driving back from the mall when there was a terrible hail
storm. Huge
hail stones the size of golf balls pelted her car leaving it full of
dents.
She drove to
the body shop and asked what she should do.
The body man explained what needed to be done and that it would cost at
least
$4000 to repair. She said that was too much and asked, "Isn't there some
other
way to fix it?"
The body man decided to have a little fun and said, "Well you could blow
into the
tail pipe real hard and they might pop back out." She decided to give it
a
try before
spending that much money.
She drove home and was in the garage with her lips wrapped around the
exhaust
pipe when her blonde neighbor came over to visit. "What are you doing!"
she
shrieked, thinking the worst and thankful that she may have just
prevented
her
friend from committing suicide.
"I'm blowing into the tailpipe real hard to pop all these dents out of my
car,"
explained the first blonde.
"Well silly, it's not going to work," replied her neighbor.
"Why not?" asked the first blonde.
"Because you've got to roll up the windows first."
There once was a young woman who went to confession. Upon entering the
confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest
said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love
to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Take seven lemons and
squeeze them into a glass and then drink the juice.
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
"No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."
An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take
turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's
peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the seaman asks, "So, how did you
end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We was caught in a monster storm off the
cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were
pullin' me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bitme leg off."
"Blimey!" said the seaman. "What about the hook?"
"Ahhhh...," mused the pirate, "we were boardin' a trader ship,
pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the
fracas me hand got chopped off."
"Zounds!" remarked the seaman. "And how came ye by the eyepatch?"
"A seagull droppin' fell into me eye," answered the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor askedincredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "it was me first day with the hook."
Email: tbone_ts@hotmail.com
