My Testimony
I was raised in a Catholic home for the first 18 years of my life.
I felt like I had been given an overdose of religion from all the
Catholic Schools I had attended. I look back now and realize that
God was just trying to install some values and thanks to the efforts
of my teachers, they succeeded! However when I hit the legal age to
drink my life went straight to Hell! I started drinking almost every
night and running around with any woman that would be with me.
My family owned a tavern and the bar life was the only one I ever knew.
I had a bunch of morals that I was taught going around in my head with
alcoholism twisting them away.
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HOW I FOUND HELP
I was working a construction job in Ghent, Kentucky when I met this guy in Alcoholics Anonymous.
He asked me if I wanted to move into his trailer in Ghent and share the rent. I agreed, and I moved in with him. He talked about A.A. all the time. He even sat me down while I was drinking and asked if I wanted to quit. I was carrying a loaded 22 pistol and a pint of booze to work every day and getting drunk at night. I understand now that he was trying to help me but I thought he was gay or something because he seemed too friendly! {I was a very sick man, and still am at times}. This was around 1985-86. I had a live-in girl friend and I really did not think I had a drinking problem! Now I realize that the Lord had sent
this angel of mercy to tell me that I did not have to go through any more Hell.
I just wasn't finished. I shot a man in a parking lot a year or two later and was in big trouble. And still this was not enough for me to change my ways and look for God's help. I was living on my own in an apartment and I became miserable. I had attempted suicide many times before but this time I wanted some help and called a hotline. The help that showed up sent me to Emerson North Hospital.
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MY INTRODUCTION TO A.A.
In the hospital I was given a big book and
after detoxing was sent to an out patient
program. There was one woman there at the
hospital that was wise enough to see that
I could use some
Al-anon help and suggested
that I read the book "Keeping Secrets" by
Susan Somers.
It was easier to read than
the big book so I read it with delight.
Here was someone who spoke my language.
She wrote about the abusive relationship
she grew up with in her family. I'm not
going to go into the stuff that happened
to me at home but will say that I was a
time bomb ticking to go off on some poor
person because I could not face the things
that had happened to me when I was a child.
Three doctors and another hospital stay later, I went to my first
Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting. I still could not or would not
admit I had a drinking problem. How could I if dad drank more than me!
Al-anon taught me to keep the focus on myself and not on the alcoholic.
I also would go to Al-anon meetings and the ladies with drinking
husbands would unknowingly take my inventory. I would listen to how
their hubbies would abuse them and I'd think to myself that sure
sounds like my past relationships. I finally ended up going to A.A.
meetings in the hope to
find a sponsor who was really working the
steps of A.A.. From that point on my life
has changed completely.
I stayed sober for
three and a half years and decided to try
some controlled drinking like the big book
suggested. I went to the bar and drank a
few drinks and the police started to control
my drinking for me. I ended up in jail
after 3 beers, thank God, for I got very
violent. Now I am completely convinced
that I belong in A.A.! I have been sober
now for what will be six years in July, even though
I still live on the streets I still praise God that he keeps me sober!
I have a very good relationship
with God for I truly have come to know his
voice and although I am not much like a
sheep, I do follow his instructions to the
best of my ability. I have found some
prayers
and parables that
are a big help in my recovery.
I now attend church every Sunday and I really do look forward to it.
I went to a non-denominational church and got a message that only God
could have sent through the Holy Spirit to me and it made me realize
that He has always been present in my life, it was I that had disregarded
His Presence! I still attend the Catholic Church, but not because I think
I have to. I have been given all the things I have needed through the
church while I have been homeless,
and I know that is God working through His people.
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Here are a couple of links to my web found Christian Friends
Martin's Page
Martin is my friend who I help get started editing a web page, he has learned a lot!
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