"I can't believe it's over," you mumble, collapsing onto your bed. You had flown home to Boston just a mere day ago and had been filled with such excitement and anticipation. You had been separated from your man for about 3 months, and hadn't talked to him in about 3 weeks, and were anxious to see him again...to hear his sexy voice again. Needless to say, you were less than thrilled at the scene you had witnessed a few hours before.
"Jordan, what's wrong?" you called, finding your voice. He acted as if he hadn't heard. You reached for him, placing a trembling hand on his shoulder. He jerked away, as if your touch burned him.
"Just leave me alone, please. I have absolutely nothing to say to you." He spun around to face you. "Don't you think you've done enough? Why did you even bother coming back here?"
"I thought you didn't have anything to say," you started, trying to lighten the mood. His glare stopped any further attempt at humor. "I'm sorry if I did something to piss you off, Jay... but could you at least tell me what it was?"
He snorted, "Like you don't know. Just forget it, Tracy. You aren't the only one who's moved on." With this, he glanced over your shoulder and smiled. You slowly turned around, not wanting to believe his words.
"Ellen?" you muttered, watching Jordan go up to the woman you had called 'friend' and wrap his arms around her. Your brave facade crumbled as his beautiful lips locked with hers. Tears rolled unnoticed down your cheeks, blurring the harsh picture of betrayal before you.
You spun around and ran out of the Common, pushing people out of your way as you fled to the safety of your apartment and away from the cause of your heartache.
You run a brush through your hair before grabbing your keys and sunglasses and storming out the door. "How could that bitch do this to me? She was supposed to be my friend! Friends don't stab each other in the back like that!" You are fuming as you impatiently wait for the subway stop that will let you out near Ellen's house. You are determined to find out EXACTLY what was going on between her and Jordan.
As soon as the doors open, you fly out onto the platform and up the nearest steps. About a block later, you turn up a walkway and stomp up the porch steps. "Open up, Ellen, I know you are here.." you call, pounding on the door. When the door swings open, you gasp and step back....Jordan is standing in the doorway.
"What are you trying to do, Tracy? Get your story straight before trying to come lie to me some more?" He crosses his arms, the arms that only a few short months ago had held you so tenderly as you had danced, as you had walked together, as you had made love.... And now he was looking at you as if you had 3 heads. Was that hatred in his chocolate eyes? No...not hatred...it couldn't be....
"Jordan, I want to know what the hell happened to us? Why are you with Ellen? I thought you loved me..."
"You thought I loved YOU???? What about me? After what you went and did, you feel that you have a right to come here? To ask me why?" Jordan sneered at you. "You have a lot of nerve, Tracy... a lot!" He stepped back inside and began to shut the door.
"Wait! Jordan, please...if I ever meant anything to you, don't close the door... Talk to me." You place a hand on the door, hoping he would react the way you think he will... You aren't disappointed. He sighs and steps back out on the porch, shutting the door behind him.
"What is there to talk about, Tracy? Your message said it all!" He glares at you, once again crossing his arms across his broad chest, throwing up a defensive wall that you had never seen before, not even a year ago...the day you met....
"Well obviously you weren't looking hard enough, or you wouldn't have barreled over me!" You stood up, ignoring the offered hand. Brushing yourself off, you glared at the man who had so rudely run into you. You took in his wavy brown hair, his dreamy brown bedroom eyes, his luscious lips and the cutest dimples...
"Are you sure you're okay?" The question interrupted your examination. You blush, cursing yourself for it under your breath. "Excuse me?"
"Oh, nothing...I was just talking to myself." You mumbled, playing off your instant attraction.
"Well, you are ok then, right?" He touched your arm, shooting electricity through every single part of your body and causing you to shiver uncontrollably. "Hey, maybe you should sit down. You don't look very well right now." He slowly led you to the nearest bench in the park.
"Oh gee, thanks for the compliment. I think I can handle it from here, Mr. Compliments!" You shrugged out of his grasp, knowing that once he wasn't touching you, you'd be fine. "Some people...first they run you over, then they tell you that you look awful! Well, I don't need that today of all days!"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You started shaking, and then your eyes rolled up into your head, and..."
"Ok, you don't have to go into details of how bad I looked...but what do you expect? You sure aren't very careful on those things," you pointed to his rollerblades.
"Oh, these?" He looked down sheepishly. "I'm still learning, so...let's just say you aren't the first person I have run down, but you have been the best looking." He smiled at you then, sending another wave of shivers coursing through your body, though you somehow managed to keep him from noticing.
"Wow, you sure are fickle! One minute I am looking awful and the next I am good looking. I see you aren't wearing a helmet...maybe you have hit your head once to often on those things." He chuckled, a low throaty sound that heated up intimate parts of your body. You squirmed in your seat. "So, Mr. Rollerblader-Extraordinare....do you have a name? Or are you gonna do a hit and run on me?"
"I guess I do owe you that much, don't I? Ok, my name is Jordan. And you are..." he held his hand out as if to shake yours. You placed your hand in his and gasped as he flipped it over and gently kissed the inside of your wrist.
"Stunned..." you whispered, gulping. You hadn't realized that you had spoken aloud, but he had.
"Well, Stunned, it was a pleasure knocking you to the ground. I hope I can have you in that position again sometime real soon." Your eyes widened as your mind registered his offer. You looked at him, this time without the anger and pride blurring your vision. The sight shocked you.
Omigod! Jordan Knight! You almost fell off the bench with the realization. Composing yourself, not wanting him to think you are some crazy, obsessed fan, you nonchalantly smile and lean in closer. "Well, Jordan, the name is Tracy. And I must say, I would not mind being under you once again." It was your turn to laugh seeing the blush start to color his handsome dimpled cheeks.
You fight back tears as his words cut through to your heart. What had happened in the short time you were gone? And what message had he refered to? "Ok, fine! What exactly are you talking about? Last time we talked, everything was great. I told you that I wouldn't be able to talk for a few weeks, because of the damn assignment I was on, and that I would see you in about a month. Then I said 'I love you'," you choke on the words, seeing the tension in his jaw as you say them.
"You love me? You love me?" He spits the words out as if they give him a bad taste in his mouth. "Don't even try it, Tracy. If you loved me, you wouldn't have fucked me over like this! I don't appreciate being played like that! I'm just glad I found out before I did anything stupid!"
"What the hell are you talking about? How did I fuck you over? If anyone was fucking anyone, it was obviously you and Ellen! I guess I was stupid to even come over here!" You start to turn away, but stop. "You know something...I should have known better than to think this would work. Obviously you only care about one thing, and when you couldn't get it from me, you went elsewhere! Well excuse me for having to WORK for a living. Excuse me for having to go on location! I didn't want to leave you, you know." You glare at him, enjoying his discomfort your words were causing. "We can't all be fabulously wealthy like you, Mr. New Kid! We can't all have your money and your fame, and your ability to just sit around and do nothing except look good and hit on every member of the opposite sex, bedding as many as possible!"
"How dare you!" He grabbed your arms, causing you to wince at the pressure he was using. "You know me better than that, Tracy. I am not a dog! I never once fucked around on you! I loved you!" He realized he was hurting you and released his grip. "I'm sorry. I got carried away."
"You always were good at that...getting carried away." You remembered the first time you felt his passionate embrace. He had hurt you that day too, only in a different way.
"Ok, Jay...give it to me," you laughed, knowing full well he would get your meaning. "I'm ready for it!"
"Are you sure? Let me check." You gasped as Jordan grabbed you around the waist and pulled you against him. He every so slowly ran his hand down the front of your jeans, under your panties, and smiled as he felt how wet you were. "Yeah, I would say that you are ready." He grinned an evil grin as he pushed you away from him.
"Now that's not fair, Jordan. Get me all hot and bothered and shove me away." You pouted, giving him the little girl eyes you knew he couldn't resist.
"Well, if I still had you pressed against me, I couldn't do this," he reached out and lifted your shirt over your head in one swift motion. His deftness made you chuckle.
"You sure are good at that...how long have you been practicing?" He just wiggled his eyebrows at you and grasped the waistband of your jeans. "Jordan?"
"Yes, baby." Just hearing that endearment sent chills up and down your spine. His hands quickly released the button and zipper and began tugging them down your long legs, his mouth following the path of your jeans. "I love your legs. They are so sexy. I can't wait to feel them wrapped around my waist."
You moaned, unable to control the feeling his mouth was creating with his words and his lips on your skin. "Oh Jay....I wanna wrap them around your waist." He slowly made his way back up your legs, lingering an extra second on your inner thighs, just a breath away from the core of your desire.
"Don't worry, baby. We have all night." He licked your navel, trailing up your rib cage to your bra, while reaching behind you to unfasten it. Once free, he gently cupped each breast, kissing and nibbling both in turn. While he caressed your breasts, you were relieving him of his jeans.
"Jordan, I want you," you sighed, running your hands over his firm butt. He carefully laid you down across the bed, gazing at you with hunger in his eyes. His mouth covered yours, his tongue darting between your parted lips, tasting and touching and dancing around your tongue. His hands caressed your thighs, slowly moving higher in small, delicate circles, heightening your desire.
His kiss deepened, causing you to lose your breath, before he drew his lips from yours and began licking your chin, down your neck, nipping your collarbone gently with his teeth. His mouth encircled your nipples, teasing each one in turn, before continuing his downward path. His teeth grazed your belly, biting a little harder than before, causing you to wince in pain, but enjoying it just the same. Just when you thought you couldn't handle any more, his mouth slipped lower, lightly flicking his tongue across your engorged clit.
A shudder wracked your body. You entwined your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer as you threw your legs over his shoulders. His lips sucked and his teeth gently nibbled, sending a heat wave coarsing through your lower belly. You groan as his tongue plunges deep inside of you, probing the very depths of your soul.
"Oh Jordan!" You tightened your grip on his hair as spasms of pleasure overtook you. Your hips lifted off the bed, dragging Jordan with them as you exploded in the most fantastic orgasm. "Wow," you breathed, as the waves slowly ebbed and Jordan crawled back up your body.
"That's it? Wow?" He smiled tenderly down at you, teasing you. "You know, I could try to do better next time."
"Oh, I think you should then...try to be better. I think you need to practice some more." You grinned mischeviously up at him, lust still very evident in your eyes.
"Baby, I love how you taste. Now I wanna know how you feel." He brought his lips to yours once again as he entered you, shoving into you fast and hard, unable to control himself any more. You dug your nails into his back, crying out in pain. He hadn't known that this was your first time.
"Tracy? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" He pulled out of you as quickly as he had entered and cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. "Did I hurt you," he repeated, reading the answer in your eyes. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry...I should have been more careful," he whispered in your hair, emotion choking his voice.
"I'm fine, Jordan. Really...I am alright now." You tried to turn your head to look at him, wincing with the effort since his face was buried in your shoulder, and his body was pinning you to the bed. "Jay, please..." you lightly ran a fingernail from his tailbone up to his neck, feeling him shiver.
"Are you sure?" he questioned, finally looking you in the eye. Your heart swelled with love at the tears you saw glistening, unshed in his beautiful brown eyes. You were touched that he would care that much about hurting you, about being so rough your first time.
"I've never been more sure of anything, Jordan. I want you inside me. Now!" With your urging, he gently pressed against you, his head barely penetrating you. You almost sighed with impatience at his reluctance. Wrapping your arms around his waist, you shoved your hips forward, burying his shaft deep inside of you. You clenched your teeth, groaning with pleasure.
He started to withdraw, afraid that you were in pain once again. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him back inside. "I didn't ask you to go anywhere, did I?" you muttered, rocking back and forth, enjoying the way his penis felt as he slid in and out of you.
He moaned in answer, meeting your rhythm thrust for thrust, his head thrown back in pleasure. Just as you felt another wave of passion overtake you he screamed out your name, slamming the full length of his rock hard penis inside of you, taking you over the edge with him. You cried out his name as the spasms shook you from the inside out. He slowly rolled over, pulling you with him, his dick still inside you, twitching as he pumped the last of his cum into you.
"Have I told you lately that I love you?" He whispered, kissing your closed eyelids and cheeks.
"Not in the last few minutes. But I don't care, I will never grow tired of hearing it." You lightly place butterfly kisses on his cheek, over the bridge of his nose and across his other cheek.
"I'm just trying to figure this out, Jordan. What went wrong? Why do you hate me now?" The tears you had been trying your damndest to hold back began to fall, causing you to drop your gaze to his feet, unable to look him in the eye. He sighed and stepped back, fighting the urge to wrap you in his arms and wipe the tears from your cheeks. Then he remembered why you were crying.
"What went wrong? You have to ask me that? I never realized how cold you really are..." He shook his head, mentally kicking himself for ever falling for you in the first place. "How could you do this to me, Tracy. I loved you...with all my heart. I opened up to you more than I have ever opened up to anyone, and you do this to me. You broke my heart." He choked on the last words, swallowing his tears before they could fall.
"How, Jordan? Please, I don't know what you are talking about. You said something about a message. I want to know what damn message you are talking about, because I never sent you any message!" You reach for his arm, imploring him to look at you. The hurt in his eyes cuts you to the bone. Something happened to cause this pain, but you had no idea what it was.
"Don't play games with me, Tracy...I know your voice when I hear it. And a very reliable source saw you when you were SUPPOSED to be in California! At least you can be honest with me, for once." Those last two words hurt more than any he had said so far.
"For once? How dare you! All I have ever been is honest! I WAS in California. I have been in California for the past three months! I don't know who your source is, or what they told you they saw, but obviously they aren't as reliable as you think!" With that, you turn to storm off the porch, stopping suddenly when you notice that someone has been observing this little scene with satisfaction. "Ellen."
"Hello, Tracy. Glad to see you finally decided to come clean." Her smug smile made you want to vomit. Suddenly everything became a whole lot clearer. You had met Ellen through Jordan. She had been a good friend of his, before you had met him. Jordan had assured you that they were only friends, nothing more, and you believed him. But maybe Ellen hadn't been so sure....
"Come clean about what, Ellen," you spat, slowly taking a step off the porch towards her. "What exactly am I supposed to say?" She noticed you clenching and unclenching your fists as you advanced closer to her. She began to back up, throwing Jordan a 'help me' look.
"You know what you did, Tracy. Don't try to make him look any more stupid than you already have." Ellen pleaded with Jordan with her eyes, throwing worried glances in your direction.
"I think I should be asking you what I did, Ellen. Because you and Jordan seem to know everything, while I'm still in the dark..." You stop less than two feet from her, your hazel eyes shooting fire into her brown ones. "So tell me, Ellen. What EXACTLY did you see me doing, when I was supposed to be in California?" Her eyes widened as she realized you had put two and two together.
"So what exactly did I say in my message, Ellen? Or should I say, where is the tape you used?" She gasped as you grinned cruelly at her. Jordan had started down the steps, but your words stopped him in his tracks. "Go on, Ellen. Tell him what you did. You used me! You taped our conversations and somehow managed to splice together some kind of incriminating tape of my voice. What did it say, Ellen?"
"It said that you had never loved me....that you were through with me. That you never wanted to see me again. I was a toy you had used and thrown away." Jordan's voice caused you to jump. You had forgotten he was still standing there. You spin around to face him, shocked at his words.
"Jordan, I never said any of that! Not in that context. You have to believe me." You slowly walk towards him, looking him dead in the eye. "Look at me, Jordan. Look in my eyes and tell me that you don't believe me...." He shakes his head and looks away. "You can't do it because you know I'm telling the truth. If anyone has deceived anyone, it's Ellen. You know it, and now I do too." You turn back around and glare at the woman causing all of this pain. Before anyone can react, you jump on her. Fists flying, you pummel her head and chest and stomach, screaming with rage.
"You bitch! You lying, cheating, filthy back stabbing bitch!" You yank a handful of hair out of her head as strong arms wrap around you and pull you off. You are still kicking and swinging as Jordan drags you away from Ellen.
"Tracy, please. Stop it!" Jordan ducks as you swing your fist at him, not realizing that it is Jordan you are now aiming at. "I said, Stop!'" Jordan grabs your arms and pins them to your sides with his. You gasp as you realize he has pressed you against him, with his arms wrapped around you. Your anger melts away as arousal overcomes you. His scent, his touch, his sexy voice has your insides all a-quiver.
"Ok, I'm alright now." You relax in his arms, leaning into his embrace. His arms loosen, unpinning your arms. His hands gently rub your back as his mouth presses into your hair. You pull away slightly and look up at him questioningly. "Do you believe me now? I can explain what I was talking about when she made that tape." He nods, pulling you back against him.
"God I missed you..." he mumbles, hugging you tightly. "But I really think we should go inside and talk this out." He releases you, stepping back to look at you. "You are a mess!"
You laugh as you realize how you must look. Hair all messed up, face scratched and probably bleeding in a few places where Ellen got in a shot or two. Remembering Ellen, you both glance in her direction. She is slowly picking herself up off the lawn, gingerly touching her cheekbone, where a bruise is already developing.
"You bitch! Look what you did to me! I am going to call the police!" Ellen starts to stomp up onto the porch as Jordan grasps her arm, stopping her.
"I don't think you should do that, Ellen. You would be the one going to jail."
"Oh yeah, that's right. I'm the one who slugged her first. I don't think so, Jordan!" Ellen tried to wriggle out of his grip.
"That's the way I saw it, Ellen." Jordan glared at her, shocking her.
"You would lie for her? You definitely ARE whooped, Jordan." Ellen was indignant.
"Not whooped, Ellen. In love...which you almost ruined for me! I will never forgive you for that!" Jordan released her, turning back to you. "Tracy, let's go back to my place. We can discuss things there."
"You are in love with me?" You ask, grinning stupidly.
"Well, duh! Of course I am. I wouldn't have stopped you from killing her if I didn't. I don't wanna have to settle for conjugal visits when they haul you off for murder." He chuckles as he throws an arm around your shoulder, leading you down the street towards his house.