~ What A Friend We Have In Jesus ~
Eventually there comes a feeling of utter depression and isolation. It is as if God is no longer in His Heaven, as if God does not care. It is during these days we are sure that no one else has ever grieved as we are grieving. It is true, no one has ever grieved exactly as we are grieving, because no two people face even the same kind of loss in the same way. But the awful experience of being utterly depressed and isolated is a universal phenomenon. When we find ourselves in the depths of despair, as some of you may be even at this moment, we should remind ourselves that this is to be expected following any significant loss, and that such depression is normal and a part of good healthy grief.
One way to describe a depression is to say it is much like a very dark day when the clouds have so blacked out the sun that everyone says, "The sun isn't shining today." We know that the sun is shining; but it appears as if it is not. Perhaps you have had occasion to take a plane trip on a day like that. Your plane climbs up and up through layers of heavy dark clouds and you cannot see a thing through the windows. It is as dark as night. Then suddenly your plane breaks through the highest bank of inky black clouds at twenty-eight thousand or perhaps thirty-eight thousand feet, and immediately the sun pours through the window. Everyone looks out upon the white billowy clouds still so black on the other side and some people exclaim, "Isn't it beautiful?" Then someone says, "Too bad the people downstairs can't see this." But the people downstairs are saying, "The sun isn't shining today." The sun is shining, but something has come between the people and the sun. This is what a depression is like. Something seems to come between the person and God and between the person and his fellow men, so that he feels a tremendous loneliness; an awful sense of isolation. And he can't seem to break through it.
When we are depressed, we find ourselves thinking thoughts we never have otherwise. We say God does not care. We may even doubt that there is a God.
Depression is not something unique just to you or me. It is an experience that seems to come to all people when something they love and treasure dearly is taken away from them. In the Scriptures we hear strong men like David in the Psalms crying out in their isolation, "Why are you cast down, O my soul?...My soul is cast down within me...I say to God, my rock, why hast Thou forgotten me?...My adversaries taunt me, while they say continually, "Where is your God?" And deep inside it is as if we are saying during the times when we are depressed, "Where is my God?" Jesus himself faced this loneliness when on the cross He cried out, "My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?"
What we must never forget about a depression experience is that one day it will pass. Dark days do not last forever. The clouds are always moving, though very slowly. The person in the midst of a depression is certain, of course, that the clouds are not moving. He is convinced that this is a state in which he will remain the rest of his life. Any attempt to try to convince him otherwise is useless. However, the experience of people through the centuries has been that the dark clouds of depression are moving; they do pass. One of the most helpful things we can do for a friend at such a time is to stand by him in quiet confidence, and assure him this, too, shall pass. He will not believe us at first, he will tell us we do not know what we are talking about. He may even ask us to leave. But he usually does not mean it. If he discovers that our concern for him is genuine, then the quiet assertion of our own confidence in God's continuing care and concern for him will assist tremendously in his recovery.
For some people the clouds roll away seemingly all at once. Something happens with them, or some important event triggers a movement toward the next stage of grief. For others it takes longer, stretching the weeks into months. Such people can be immeasurably helped by the constant, consistent concern of those who really care about them.
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