Another way to put it is to say that resentment is not a healthy emotion and, if allowed to take over, it can be very, very harmful. Yet it is a normal part of the grief process. It is to be expected, it is to be wrestled with, and it can, by the grace of God, be overcome.

When we have something precious taken from us we inevitably go through a stage when we are very critical of everything and everyone who was related to the loss. We spare no one in our systematic scrutiny of the event, attempting to understand exactly why this thing happened, and who is to blame. The human is always looking for someone to blame. If we have lost someone through death, we express hostility towards anyone who cared for that person. We are hostile to the doctor because he operated; or we are hostile to him because he did not operate. No matter what he did, it was wrong. While we are in this mood, we look at everyone with a jaundiced eye. If we talk to the minister, and he encourages us to admit what we really think, one day we may say, "Why did God do this to me?" or "How can He be a God of love if he treats people like this?" Often times we cynically say, "God sits in His Heaven and does nothing."