.13.07.99.
and now I'm all alone again / nowhere to turn, no one to go to / without a home, without a friend, / without a face to say hello to. / and now the night is near / now I can make believe he's here. // sometimes I walk alone at night / when everybody else is sleeping / I think of him and then I'm happy / with the company I'm keeping / the city goes to bed / and I can live inside my head. // on my own / pretending he's beside me / all alone, I walk with him till morning / without him / I feel his arms around me / and when I lose my way I close my eyes / and he has found me // in the rain the pavement shines like silver / all the lights are misty in the river / in the darkness, the trees are full of starlight / and all I see is him and me for ever and forever // and I know it's only in my mind / that I'm talking to myself and not to him / and although I know that he is blind / still I say, there's a way for us // I love him / but when the night is over / he is gone, the river's just a river / without him the world around me changes / the trees are bare and everywhere / the streets are full of strangers // I love him / but every day I'm learning / all my life I've only been pretending / without me his world will go on turning / a world that's full of happiness / that I have never known! // I love him / I love him / I love him / but only on my own. //
"on my own" from Les Miserables

17.07.99
stuffed teddy bears and pink dolly dresses, / big yellow bows and brown curly tresses / fairy tales, and Lullabies / wipe away those tear-stained eyes / your girl's not a baby anymore. // rocking horses and jack-in-the-box / stories of chickens being chased by a fox. / mother Goose and Puppy dog eyes / cuts and bruises, tears and cries / your girl's not a baby anymore. // first report card and rings of Rosies / merry Go Rounds and a pocket of posies / first loose tooth and dreams to fly / through all the faults and little white lies / your girl's not a baby anymore. // she's the jewel in mama's eyes / and daddy's little girl. / through her smiles and her cries / and hand-me-down pearls / oh, how time flies / through all of her years you've been there / and she'll always know that you care. / for, when you hold her tight / and tell her it's all right, / she'll always be your little girl. //
untitled by KENDALL *grin*

01.08.99
asexual, far from intellectual / fashion steeler, free-wheeler / bats her eyes to cover up her lies / she's a sucker upper, starfucker / and I'm gonna blow her cover // my friend, my friend saw you in a coffee shop / she thought you were cute, she thought you were hot / but I thought not / she's trash, she's pretty / she's good enough to do / but we got bored / now everyone's over you // asexual, far from intellectual / fashion steeler, free-wheeler / bats her eyes to cover up her lies / she's a sucker upper, starfucker / and I'm gonna blow her cover // fix it, strap it / wrap it around your arm / so you won't forget / when you're gone / so long //
"sucker upper" by the Murmurs

08.08.99
when you show up like that / what am i supposed to say / it takes awhile for the bruises to heal / oh you've got to escape / before it's too late // children of the garden / tangled in danger / playing the smile / and suffering alone // i'm daring the battle / with a bastard who's killing us slowly / sleepless commotion, sleepless commotion / well he slashed the waterbed / and he slashed all her clothes / he smashed all the crystal / and broke the windows / sleepless commotion, sleepless commotion // police won't arrive / and I've hidden the scotch / oh that's made matters worse / now he's laughing at us // children of the garden / tangled in danger / playing the smile / and suffering alone // i'm praying for daybreak / i'm praying for peace / i'm praying for freedom / i'm praying she'll leave him / and all I can do / is protect while I'm here / it won't go too far / i have nothing to fear / except when I am not here // now it's over / the night won't return / a phone call in search of her soul / i left her alone / why'd i leave her alone in sleepless commotion / sleepless commotion //
"sleepless commotion" by the Murmurs

11.08.99
please die ana / for as long as you're here we're not / you make the sound of laughter / and sharpened nails seem softer / and I need you now somehow / and I need you now somehow // open fire on the needs designed / on my knees for you / open fire on my knees desires / what i need from you // imagine a pageant / in my head the flesh seems thicker / sandpaper tears corrode the film / and i need you now somehow / and i need you now somehow // open fire on the needs designed / on my knees for you / open fire on my knees desires / what i need from you // and you're my obsession / i love you to the bones / and ana wrecks your life / like an anorexia life // open fire on the needs designed / on my knees for you / open fire on my knees desires / what i need from you / open fire on the needs designed / open fire on my knees desires / on my knees for you //
"ana's song (open fire)" by Silverchair

18.08.99
there's no windows in this place / for me to show my weary face / rage i hold within my soul / at times i cannot control / what's the point of me being here? / when being me is what i fear / every day it's all the same / trapped again in my own pain / i cry myself to sleep / so many secrets i must keep / no one to reach me...nobody cares / trapped in the middle of a distant stare / i've prayed that i was free / of this grief that's filling me / everywhere i turn / every bridge must burn / there's no windows in this place / for me to show my weary face //
"frustration" by the Moffatts

25.08.99
i came into this world as a reject. / look into these eyes then you'll see the size of the flames. / dwellin' on the past. / it's burnin' up my brain. / everyone that burns has to learn from the pain. / hey, i think about the day. / my girlie ran away with my pay. / when fellas came to play. / now she's stuck with my homeex that she fucked. / and i'm just a sucker with a lump in my throat. // (bridge) / (hey) like a chump (hey) like a chump (hey) like a chump (hey) like a chump / (hey) like a chump (hey) like a chump (hey) like a chump (hey) // should i be feelin' bad? / should i be feelin' good? / it's kinda sad i'm the laughing stock of the neighborhood. / you would think that i'd be movin'on / but i'm a sucker like i said / fucked up in the head, NOT / maybe she just made a mistake / i should give her a break / my heart will ache either way / hey what the hell whatch you want me to say / i won't lie that i can't deny // (chorus) 2x / i did it all for the nookie, c'mon / the nookie, c'mon / so you can take that cookie and stick it up your, yeah!! / stick it up your, yeah!! // why did it take so long? / why did i wait so long, huh? / to figure it out? / but i did it and / i'm the only one underneath the sun who didn't get it. / i can't believe that i could be deceived / by my so called girl, but in reality, / had a hidden agenda / she put my tender heart in a blender, / and i surrendered // (bridge) / (chorus) // i'm only human. / it's so easy for your friends / to give you their advice / they tell you to let it go / but it's easier said than done / i appreciate it. / i do, but just leave me alone / leave me alone / just leave me alone!! / ain't nothin gonna change. / you can go away / i'm just gonna stay here and always be the same / ain't nothin gonna change / you can go away / i'm just gonna stay here and always be the same // (chorus) //
"nookie" by Limp Bizkit

01.09.99
scar tissue that i wish you saw / sarcastic mister know it all / close your eyes and i'll kiss you 'cause / with the birds i'll share / with the birds i'll share / this lonely view / with the birds i'll share / this lonely view // push me up against the wall / young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra / fallin' all over myself / to lick your heart and taste your health 'cause / with the birds i'll share / this lonely view // blood loss in a bathroom stall / southern girl with a scarlet drawl / wave good-bye to ma and pa 'cause / with the birds i'll share / with the birds i'll share / this lonely view / with the birds i'll share / this lonely view // soft spoken with a broken jaw / step outside but not to brawl / autumn's sweet we call it fall / i'll make it to the moon if i have to crawl and / with the birds i'll share / this lonely view // scar tissue that i wish you saw / sarcastic mister know it all / close your eyes and i'll kiss you 'cause / with the birds i'll share / with the birds i'll share / this lonely view / with the birds i'll share / this lonely view //
"scar tissue" by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers

08.09.99
just before our love got lost you said, / "i am as constant as the northern star." / and i said, "constantly in the darkness / where's that at? / if you want me i'll be in the bar. / "on the back of a cartoon coaster / in the blue T.V. screen light / i drew a map of Canada / oh Canada / with your face sketched on it twice. // in my blood like holy wine / you taste so bitter and so sweet / well, i could drink a case of you, darling / and i would still be on my feet / i would still be on my feet. // oh i am a lonely painter / i live in a box of paints / i'm frightened by the devil / and i'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid. / i remember that time you told me / "love is touching souls" / surely you touched mine / 'cause part of you pours out of me / in these lines from time to time. // my blood / my holy wine / tastes so bitter and so sweet / well i could drink a case of you, darling / and i would still be on my feet / i would still be on my feet // i met a woman / she had a mouth like yours / she knew your devils and your deeds / and she said, "go to him, stay with him / but be prepared to bleed" // my blood / my holy wine / tastes so bitter and so sweet / well i could drink a case of you, darling / and i would still be on my feet / i would still be on my feet //
"a case of you" by Joni Mitchell

15.09.99
stinky soul get a little lost in my own / hey General, need a little love in that hole of yours / so one ways now and Saturdays now and our kittens / all wrapped in cement / from cradle to gumdrop / got me running girl as fast as i can / and is it right, Butterfly, / they like you better framed and dried // Daddy dear, if i can kill one man why not two? / well, nurses smile when you got iron veins / you can't stain their pretty shoes. / and pompoms and cherry blondes / and their kittens still wrapped in cement / from God's saviors to gumdrops / got me running girl as fast as i can and / is it right, Butterfly, / they like you better framed and dried // got a pretty pretty garden / pretty garden, yes / got me a pretty pretty garden / a pretty garden, yes / got me a pretty pretty garden / a pretty garden //
"butterfly" by Tori Amos

22.09.99
like anyone would be / i am flattered by your fascination with me / like any hotblooded woman / i have simply wanted an object to crave / but you you're not allowed / you're uninvited / an unfortunate slight // must be strangely exciting / to watch the stoic squirm / must be somewhat heartening / to watch shepherd meet shepherd / but you you're not allowed / you're uninvited / an unfortunate slight // like any uncharted territory / i must seem greatly intriguing / you speak of my love like / you have experienced love like mine before / but this not allowed / you're uninvited / an unfortunate slight // i don't think you unworthy / i need a moment to deliberate //
"uninvited" by Alanis Morissette

29.09.99
alcoholic kind of mood / lose my clothes lose my lube / cruising for a piece of fun / looking out for number one / different partner every night / so narcotic outta sight / what a gas what a beautiful ass // and it all breaks down at the role reversal / got the muse in my head she's universal / spinning me round she's coming over me / and it all breaks down at the first rehearsal / got the muse in my head she's universal / spinning me round she's coming over me // kind of buzz that lasts for days / had some help from insect ways / comes across all shy and coy / just another nancy boy / woman man or modern monkey / just another happy junkie / fifty pounds press my button going down // and it all breaks down at the role reversal / got the muse in my head she's universal / spinning me round she's coming over me / and it all breaks down at the first rehearsal / got the muse in my head she's universal / spinning me round she's coming over me // does his make-up in his room / douse himself with cheap perfume / eyeholes in a paper bag / greatest lay i ever had / kind of guy who mates for life / gotta help him find a wife / we're a couple when our bodies double // and it all breaks down at the role reversal / got the muse in my head she's universal / spinning me round she's coming over me / and it all breaks down at the first rehearsal / got the muse in my head she's universal / spinning me round she's coming over me //
"nancy boy" by Placebo