"Isaac! Oh my gosh! I'm so glad to talk to you!"
"Wow. We sure are in a good mood today." Their smiles radiated through the phone lines.
"I am. I'm in the best mood. You have no idea!"
He laughed a bit. "So why are you in such a good mood?"
"Okay, see, this guy I have liked since, forever! He asked me out today! Yeah, it's just to McDonalds, but still. It's out." She sighed, dreamily.
"McDonalds? Oh come on Trish, can't you see through that? The guy's not serious about you at all. He's either just a friend or he wants something, homework or sex or something dumb like that."
Isaac sounded disgusted and Trish flared with anger. "And just how the hell would you know? Things like that could happen! Just because I'm nobody, just because the people here are rich pop stars like you! You think that good things can't happen. Well let me tell you something Isaac Hanson, I like Chris and I bet you he likes me! And I don't care what you think."
"Chill. I was just trying to be a friend. Geeze, woman."
"Don't call me woman."
"Fine. You don't need to get defensive."
"I'm not defensive."
"Yeah, whatever. If you want to go on a date, that isn't really a date, but believe that it's one anyway, you can go right ahead. Because I don't care."
"Good. I will, because it is a date. And I'm glad you don't care, because I sure as hell don't care if you care." He was silent for a moment. "I can't believe you'd get jealous over something like this."
"I'm not jealous!"
"Yes you are. It's so obvious."
"And how would you know? You don't even know me, and you don't know guys. You can't even tell the difference between an 'I like you' date and a 'do my a favor even though I don't care for you at all' date."
"Shut up! See, this is nothing more than jealousy. The green-eyed monster's got ya' Ike."
"Fine! Do whatever you want! I don't care. And when you get hurt, don't call me! Because I won't care! I don't care at all! You can date me and call me, and hell you can even let me think that there's something between us, but after this. No, nothing ever again. I don't care."
"Don't be so pig headed. There wasn't anything between us. We had a good time. We went out a bit. There was no attachment. Right?"
"I guess so. I wish you would have told me that a few dates ago."
"Ooh, hostile." She smirked.
"What's so funny about this? I don't find any of it funny."
"It's not funny."
"So stop making jokes."
"Ike, there was nothing between us. I didn't, I don't, feel that way about you."
He was quiet. "Okay, I'm putting myself on a limb. If I kissed you right now, we'd both know that that kiss would show me you care. There is something between us and there was before. And when I've kissed you I could tell. Why are you lying about it now?"
"I'm not lying."
"Well, in denial. Whatever. The point is, there's something between us, and you won't let there be."
"Isaac, you're making up fairy tales. I hate to tell you, but there is no happily ever after, at least not in my world. We met and we had good times. That's all. There is and never was anything else. Deal with it."
"No. I won't accept that." Trish closed her eyes and listen to him breath, he was thinking hard, and she didn't understand why he had to be so stubborn. Maybe she did like him, maybe she even liked him a whole lot. Maybe she'd wait an entire night just to feel his lips on her cheek for two seconds, just to let him hold her for a moment. That didn't matter. The point was he was in Oklahoma, and when he wasn't there he was in London, or Sydney, or Tokyo, or Venice. He wasn't where she was. Chris was. Whatever she felt for Isaac couldn't matter, this was better for her. She was sure of it.
"Isaac, I'm sorry if you feel like there was more to our relationship."
"Relationship! You said it!"
"Yeah, so what?"
"You admit we had something, a relationship."
"I also have a relationship with Julia, and Kalli, and Sarene. That doesn't mean anything." He sighed. "Look, maybe, because of all this, maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea for me to come on tour with you over the summer."
"No. You'd still really enjoy it. I think you should come." She heard the hope beneath his quiet tone.
"I really think it'd be better for the both of us if I stayed here."
"As a friend," he forced out the word. "I'd like for you to come."
"Ike, things can't happen between us. They won't. It doesn't matter whether I go tour with you or not."
"You're sure?"
"Yes."
"You don't want to come, or you don't feel anything anymore?"
She sighed. She couldn't change the label she'd forced him to give her. "Both." She whispered.
Trish lay on her floor. She knew Isaac would be standing outside his house right now. By nightfall he'd be thinking about her and looking at stars. Especially the really bright star straight above his house. He'd told her about it one night over the phone. She knew he hurt, and she knew she did too.
"God, don't take him away from me." She whispered. "Please let him know not to leave, and not to stop caring." She wiped hastily at tears that rolled down her cheeks. "I need him, I still need him. Please, please, let him know I still care about him." She propped herself up against her bed and hugged herself. "Isaac, I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to make you go. I didn't mean to push you away."
His voice echoed in her head. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
She cried, almost deciding to reach for the phone. "I need you." Her fingertips touched the plastic, but she didn't call.
She put her head into her hands, curled into a ball on the floor, and cried his name.
All the while hearing him ask her, "Are you sure?"
She wasn't sure, and now she was afraid.
"Trish!"
"Huh? Oh, hey Chris." She let her eyes go blank, trying to see if he'd notice. 'The guy's not serious about you at all.' Isaac would notice, he would reach out to her, hold her and beg her to confide in him.
"Yeah, so you're gonna be at McDee's right? 3:00?"
"Uh, yeah." She shook off the face and smiled. Maybe Chris didn't like the deep type. Maybe she'd try to be like the girls he liked to date.
"I've gotta meet some friends, otherwise I'd drive ya', but it's not far so I figured you could walk."
"Um, yeah."
"Besides, a little exercise wouldn't hurt ya'!" He grinned and walked away.
"What he mean by that?"
"What'd who mean by what?" Sarene walked up behind her.
"Chris Conelly just said that a little exercise wouldn't hurt me."
"Ooh, diss." Sarene laughed. "But what's up with Chris, why are you talkin' to him?"
"We're going to McDonalds after school."
"Oh tutor work."
"No. Not as far as I know." Trish tried to laugh. "I think it's a date."
"A date? No way." Trisha laughed, nervously. "What's up with that? I thought you and Ike had a thing."
"We don't." She said, roughly.
"Okay, okay, no need to get defensive on me. It was just a question."
"A question that didn't need to be asked."
"Fine."
"And I'm not defensive."
Trisha looked in the mirror in the McDonalds bathroom. "I haven't worn makeup in ages." She ran her fingers nervously through her hair. She was wearing a skirt that day, and she felt she looked nice. Isaac would have thought she was 'stunningly beautiful.' Always said with a smile.
She sat down at a table. Chris wasn't there yet, but he would be, she was sure. She glanced at her watch 3:05. "I thought girls were supposed to be the one's who ran late for dates." She laughed and twiddled her thumbs.
3:15
3:25 "Maybe he meant 3:00 in the morning."
3:45 "Trish! My god! You're still here." Chris sat down. No apology, no nothing just a, "Hey do you have an extra 5 bucks so I can get some food?"
"Yeah." She handed him a $5, the $5 that was supposed to buy her food if he wasn't paying for her.
"Ya' know? I am one lucky son of a bitch." He grinned, devouring a Big Mac.
She smiled. So maybe he wasn't as great with words as Isaac, but he was making an attempt. "Why's that?" She set him up perfectly.
"Kelsey Grey was sitting in the bleachers wearing a skirt, and no underwear! Dude, I saw the sign, and DAMN it opened up my eyes!"
Trisha tried to force a smile.
"And Virginia Peterson? Great mother of Jesus, she is hot! Too bad you're not friends with her. You could hook me up. Huh?" He laughed.
"Yeah too bad."
"But you probably don't want to hear that, huh?"
She laughed. "Not really."
He grinned. "I'm just an idiot sometimes." He wiped off his hands, after finishing his fries.
"No you're not."
"Yeah I am." He leaned across the table. "That's why I asked you here."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
She smiled, it could take a turn for the better, right? "Could you clarify for me a little bit?"
"I heard you're good at writing."
Strike three. "Yeah, I guess."
"I'm failing my english class and I need some help." She looked at him and cried. She didn't even have time to run out of the restaurant. She just cried, tears flooding over her hands. "Holy shit! Oh my god!" He moved over next to her and put his arm around her. "Look if you're having a bad day don't worry about it, we can start tomorrow or the next day even."
"God, you're so dense!"
"I told you I was dumb, what more do you want?"
"I blew off the nicest guy in the world because I thought you liked me! I thought you…"
"You thought this was a date? What were you thinking? Do you think I'm that cheap that I'd take a date to McDonalds? Besides why would I go with at girl like you? I go out with girls like Kelsey and Virginia. I don't go with smart, little prudes."
"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up you asshole! Okay you take me here, you treat me like shit. You arrive 45 god damn minutes late! And then you call me a prude and expect me to tutor you!"
"Look, I was just asking a favor. Okay, sorry. No big deal. I'll find another tutor. God, look at yourself? Is it really such a surprise guys aren't falling over themselves to be with you? You wouldn't spread 'em if the guy was Jesus Christ. Guys don't want a girl like that. Deal with it, it's the way things are." He turned and left. Trisha wiped her eyes free of tears and left by the other exit.
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