I can't believe that I showered with my socks on again!

It was one of those nights where the three of us stayed up until four or five in the morning watching and reciting old Chris Farley movies. We fell asleep about an hour after we stopped watching, so for all of you mathematically challenged people, that would be about five or six in the morning. We usually got our wake up calls around seven. Two to three hours of sleep? Let me just say this, it's not a very bright idea. It's the kind of bright idea that lets you realize as you're washing your hair, "Oh crap, I forgot to take my socks off." I think this is the third time I've done that. And I feel dumber everytime, but you know what? Morning's do that to me sometimes. Sometimes I'm very awake in the mornings, but when I only get two or three hours of sleep I do all kinds of dumb things. Like one time, I let Jessica cut my hair. Zoe helped her. Notice; I have a new haircut now. Let me just say, it wasn't only because I "had an urge to change my hair style." It was because my little sister had the urge to change it.

So there you go, I'm sure you think by now that I must be depriving of some poor village of their village idiot because I'm pretty damn sure Tulsa has got more than its share. It's got Zac and Ike too. And the three of us? Well, we're a handful I guess you could say. I don't know how Mom does it, but it's kind of amazing.

I'm not sure how Isaac stumbled across it, but somehow he did. I think he was in a chat room. This girl was talking about 'fanfics'.

SillyG1rl12: I'm working on another fanfic. I'm really excited about it; do you all want to read what I've got so far?

OverTheRaynBow: Yeah, that'd be awesome, I love reading people's stories.

Hello37794: Excuse me for being retarded, but um...what are you talking about?

SillyG1rl12: fanfics, you know, like fan fiction.

Hello37794: I'm sorry, again, but what is fan fiction?

OverTheRaynBow: Its stories written by the fans that are about the people they're fans of.

Hello37794: oh I get it. Thanx.

Yeah, when we tell people that MMMBop is our only screen name, that's crap. We've got all kinds of secret names. But the whole point of them being secret is no one knowing its us. So if someone ever tells you that it's us on a secret name and you get that person to admit that they're us. Then you know that it's not us. If people keep trying to get us to "confess" we usually stop talking to them or change our screen name.

So then Isaac looked up "Hanson fan fiction" on AOL web search. He was curious, and since by some miracle we had 45 minutes to kill, so he thought he'd check some fanfics out. There were 152 entries. He clicked on the first one and began to read.

"You guys come read this." And that's when it started.

"I don't act like that at all." Zac laughed. I too was completely portrayed wrong.

"Yeah, they screwed us up pretty bad."

And then we developed the habit. We became fanfic junkies. If someone wrote a story we read it. Some of them were awesome, and some of them kind of blowed. Some of them were better than porn! And some of them were sappier than a Leonard DiCaprio movie.

We had an interview and a rehearsal session to do that day. We were late to rehearsal, but so was everyone else. We jammed around, practiced for about two hours and then we went out for dinner. When we came back I was ready to break out another movie marathon.

"Ah dude, I'm still recovering from the last one." Zac said, as he plopped down on his bed. Isaac was carrying some junk food, and so I just sat and waited for someone to make a decision. I'm pretty sure that Ike was the one who suggested to read more fanfics.

The story was called I'm Not a Playa' I Just Crush A Lot, and from the way people have been talking about it I guess it must have been like the big thing in the fanfic world. I'd noticed a lot more soft porn stories, which I'm assuming must have been spawned from this piece of work. "Okay, this is crap, I would never sleep with that many girls. I mean, it that even possible?"

"But it makes an interesting story." Zac grinned. Ike and I only had to exchange one look before we both grabbed Zac and threw him into the shower. Then we blasted on the cold water. "Just helping you out there, buddy." Ah, the joys of brotherhood.

After he had dried off and changed Zac went to bed, but Ike and I stayed up for a while longer talking about the fanfic. "I could do so much better than that." Isaac said.

"So lets."

"What?"

"We'll write our own fanfic. It'll kick ass, no one knows us better than us. It'll be perfect."

Zac sat up his in his bed and screamed, "We couldn't write a good fanfic!"

"Why not?"

"Because fanfics are all about one of us hooking up with some girl from a hick town in Alabama. Saving her from her drunk ass dad who's trying to sell her to the circus or marry her to the neighbor's goat. We're not like that."

I laughed, "Zac they're usually more complicated than that."

"No they're not. They're all unrealistic, and they never portray us right. I mean, if I EVER read another fanfic by someone who portrays me as a loving, happy, hyper, bouncing bundle of 11-year-old, I'm gonna be sending some major hate mail their way."

I laughed, Zac's hilarious, he's awesome. "But that's the point Zac, you could portray yourself so much better and that's why we're going to write our own fanfic, to show everybody what we're really like. To show them a new side to fanfic. The real side."

"Okay, Ike, you are way too into this thing." I laughed at him. I laughed even harder when he gave me the "Zip It" sign and started typing. He typed all through the night.

Rehearsal wasn't until 3 so Ike had time to catch some sleep after he had finished writing his "epiphany." It was while he was sleeping that Zac and I decided to read it.

I have to say it was probably the weirdest fanfic I've ever read, which made it perfect. I mean, the story was supposed to reek "us" and it did. It was this weird concoction of every fanfic we've ever read. Like hick family living in outer space with a vampire daughter who Zac falls in love with. But she falls in love with Taylor, because Hanson are now astronaut musicians, and they too live in space. Anyway, the hick family wanted to marry their daughter to a talking stuffed panda and then they wanted to sacrifice her to the "moon God".

Yeah it was pretty cracked. But like I said, it reeked of "us" and well, we're pretty cracked ourselves a lot of the time. So while we're reading this Ike woke up, he came over and he starts reading over our shoulder.

"What do you think?"

"It’s a mockery of fan fiction."

"I decided that should be the point. We mock everything we love. If you can't make fun of something you love then what can you make fun of?"

"He's got a point." I nodded to Zac.

"There's just one problem with it." Zac smiled, I could sense had another cold shower coming to him.

"What's that?"

"There's no sex."

"What?" Ike and me closed in.

"Come on, you know, there's no such thing as a good fanfic without sex or sexual innuendoes."

"He's right," I pointed out. "There's no such thing as a good fanfic without sex."

"But there's a love triangle!" Isaac pouted.

"FINE! I'll fix it, just don't make that face." I grabbed a pen and sat down and wrote.

Kayline (the vampire daughter of the hick family) and Taylor got naked. Then they did it. Then they got dressed again. Then Zac got jealous. So he seduced Kayline who's just a horny bitch, and they got naked. Then they screwed, and then they got dressed again.

"Okay, I fixed it."

"Tay, you're retarded."

"You never held it against me before."

Yeah, we never read another fanfic other than ours after that. We kept adding and adding to it. It’s the most insane ridiculous thing you'll ever read. But its "us", I mean it reeks of "us". I love it.

By the way, I showered with my socks on again. What the heck is wrong with me? Oh well, I'm hoping that you won't hold it against me.