Author's note: This isn't meant to be a medical story - so the name of the disease, the symptoms, and how it's treated are just meant to add to its "entertainment value." In fact, I don't think antibiotics were even invented by the 1870s, but, I just needed it for the story. Oh, also, this was written before "Seeds of Doubt!"
by Michelle Iris Pagan
The sun was beating down upon Colorado Springs, this fine day in April, drying up some of the mud that had accumulated as a result of the winter's snowstorms. Winter wasn't really over yet, as it never is in April on the plains, but it was a beautiful respite between the blizzards that often came the town's way.
It was the perfect day to welcome Colleen home from her second year at college. The Sully/Quinn/Cooper clan had arrived together as usual at the depot in town, getting ready to welcome her in for the summer.
"Oh, I can hardly wait!" Michaela squealed. "It'll be so nice having her home again for the summer!"
Brian looked around. "Wait a minute," he said. "Andrew's not here."
"Maybe he's not comin' this time," Sully suggested.
"But Andrew's always here waitin' for Colleen when she comes home," Brian insisted.
Glancing at her husband, Michaela turned to Brian and put her hands on his shoulders. "He's probably too busy with his patients at the chateau," she told him.
At that moment, Dr. Cook skidded around a corner and leapt onto the platform with the family. Seeing them already assembled there he froze, then straightened up and fixed his bowtie. "Am I too late?" he asked frenziedly. "Did Colleen arrive already?"
Dr. Quinn smiled. "No Andrew, Colleen's train hasn't arrived yet."
Andrew smiled. "Good," he said. "I don't want to miss her." His face turned red as he realized what he had just said.
Just then the Denver train chugged into the station. Andrew attempted to straighten up again.
The train doors opened, and the first passenger, Colleen, stepped out.
Michaela, her family behind her, swarmed around her daughter as she stepped off the train.
Andrew stood frozen on the platform, transfixed by Colleen's beauty. He hadn't seen her since the holidays. And here she was again...
Colleen had finished saying hello and hugging her family, and now made her way up the stairs to him.
"Hello, Andrew," she said sweetly, offering her hand.
"He-hello, Colleen," he said, taking it. Inside he was thinking - there must be something better I can say! "I hope your train ride went well." Mentally, he slapped himself.
"It was fine," she said. "But long. I'm a bit tired."
"Oh!" he exclaimed. "Would you like to sit down?"
She giggled. "No, that's alright. I'm about to go back to the homestead. I'll take a nap there."
"Oh...well..." he drifted off, trying to rack his brain for something to say.
Michaela came up behind them. "Are you ready to go Colleen?" she asked.
"Yes Ma," she replied, reluctantly drawing her eyes off of Andrew and turning to her mother.
"Perhaps, Andrew," Michaela said, "you would like to join us for dinner tonight at the homestead? I've cooked all of Colleen's favorite foods in honor of her first night home."
Matthew had come up behind her and now said, "Uh-oh."
Michaela turned around and laughed. "It's not going to be that bad."
"I don't know, Andrew," Matthew said. "I'd bring some of your ipecac if I were you."
Andrew smiled. "I'd be honored to join you tonight for dinner, Colleen."
Colleen smiled.
"And you too, Michaela," he blurted out.
"Tonight then?" Colleen asked.
"Around 8 o'clock," Michaela said.
Andrew tipped his hat. "8 o'clock," he said. He wheeled and walked away.
He was having dinner with Colleen!, he thought. Well, not exactly with Colleen, but he would at least be able to spend the evening, her first evening home in along time, in her presence. Suddenly, he thought of his patients at the chateau and quickly hurried back there. He had to get his rounds finished early so he could get himself ready for the night.
She was back home. Truly home, surrounded by her loved ones, her trees, and oh...everthing.
"Oh Ma!" she exclaimed. "It's so good to be home!"
Michaela smiled as Colleen twirled around. She fell to the ground. Michaela ran to her. "Colleen? You alright?"
Colleen unsteadily got up. "Oh yes Ma!" she smiled. "I'm just excited and exhausted at the same time."
"Well, you'd better get to bed then," said Sully, bringing in Colleen's trunks. "A nap'll do you some good."
Colleen nodded.
*******
The elderly, elegant woman looked worriedly toward him.
"Well," she said. "I've been tired a lot of late. Can't seem to feel the way I used to."
"How is it you feel?" he asked.
"I just don't feel like doing anything."
Heaven grant me patience, he thought. The things people here come to a doctor for...
"One moment, " he said. He disappeared into the room, grabbed a bottle of tonic from a cabinet, and handed it to her.
"Take two teaspoons a day of this, and you'll be feeling much better soon," he said. "And Mrs. Jackson, you're at a health resort. Relax!! Take in the scenery."
She took the bottle from him questioningly. "But don't you want to examine me?" she said.
"Oh, there's no need to," Dr. Cook said. "I've seen your case before, and I know the exact remedy for it. Two teapoons of that daily, and plenty of relaxation. Now if you will excuse me, I must go, Mrs. Jackson. I'm expected somewhere. Good day." He nodded and disappeared inside, leaving her standing there.
Once inside, he sighed. As a good doctor, he didn't approve of the tonics he doled out on a daily basis. They were mostly sugar and water and didn't do much, if anything. But cases such as the one he'd just had were enough to make him want to give whole cases of the stuff.
He nodded out of his thoughts. It was time for dinner with Colleen -er- Colleen's family. He grabbed his hat and jacket and went outside to hitch up his buggy.
*******
Brian went upstairs and knocked quietly on Colleen's door. "Colleen? You up yet?" No response.
He slowly turned the knob and walked in. "Colleen?"
A covered figure stirred in bed. Brian walked over to the bed. He pulled the covers off Colleen's face.
"Colleen?" he asked worriedly. She was usually easy to wake up, if even needed to be woken.
Her eyes opened slowly.
"Colleen, you ok?"
"Brian?" she asked. "Yeah," she said, her eyes closing briefly. "I'm just so tired."
"Ma said dinner's ready. And Andrew will be arriving soon."
Her mind thought quickly. Andrew! Normally, the thought alone would have made her jump up. But now, she was so tired, she barely cared.
Why am I so tired?, she thought.
"Tell Ma I'll be down in a minute." she told Brian.
He closed the door behind him and went downstairs.
"Is she ready?" Michaela asked.
"She'll be down in a minute."
*******
"Hi, Andrew," he said. "Come on in."
"Good evening, Sully." replied Andrew, stepping inside.
"Can I take your coat?" Sully asked.
Andrew handed it to him. He walked over to Michaela,who was setting the table. "Yum, Michaela," he said, "It smells so good."
"Thank you, Andrew," said Michaela, beaming. "I just hope it tastes okay."
"I'm sure it'll be delicious," said Andrew, rubbing his hands.
Brian came down the stairs. "Hi Andrew!" said Brian brightly.
"Hello Brian," said Andrew.
"Brian, is Colleen still upstairs?" asked Michaela.
"I think she's still sleepin' Ma."
Andrew looked surprised. "Is Colleen alright?"
Michaela frowned. "What is she doing?" she said quietly. "If you'll excuse me, Andrew," she said loudly, removing her apron. "I'll go see what's taking her so long." She hurried upstairs.
Andrew patted Brian on the shoulder. "Is Colleen alright?" he asked worriedly.
Brian shrugged. "She's been sleepin' since we got home from the train depot," he said. "I went to wake her up before, but she never came down. It's not really like her. Colleen hates bed."
*******
Colleen stirred, then opened her eyes. "Ma?"
"Colleen! What are you doing? I sent Brian up to wake you half an hour ago! Andrew's downstairs and dinner's on the table."
"Andrew's here?" Colleen gasped. Her hand flew to her head. "Oh! I'm not ready!"
Then Michaela noticed the unusual flush on her cheeks. "Colleen?" she asked. "Are you feeling alright?"
"I have a headache, Ma," Colleen complained.
Michaela frowned, then felt her forehead. "Well, you don't have a fever."
"I'll be down in a few minutes," said Colleen, throwing back the covers. Michaela left the room and shut the door. Colleen got up and stood in front of the mirror. Taking a shaky hand, she grabbed her hairbrush and drew it through her hair. Then she slowly got dressed and made her way downstairs.
"Will Colleen be down?" asked Andrew anxiously.
"I'm here," said a voice from the staircase. She was coming down the stairs, almost uncertainly. However, the flush in her cheeks made her glow and enhanced her beauty to Andrew.
"Colleen!" he said, as she came down the last step. He took her hands in his. "Are you alright?"
She nodded. "Yes, Andrew." She touched her head. "My head is achin' a bit, but I'm fine." He led her to the table where he pulled out a chair for her. She graciously sat down and he pushed the chair in, then sat next to her.
"Well," said Michaela. "It's so nice to have everyone together again. Would you say grace tonight Colleen?" They bowed their heads and Colleen began.
"Dear God, we'd like to thank you for all your bounty tonight, and for us bein' together as a family once again. We'd also like to thank you for Dr. Cook's presence with us tonight. Amen."
They began eating. "Yum, Ma," said Brian, "this is actually pretty good."
"Actually?" Michaela smiled.
"Well, I..."
"That's okay, Brian. I'm glad to see I'm finally improving."
Sully noticed Colleen absently pushing food around her plate. "You okay, Colleen?" he said. "You haven't eaten much."
"I'm not really that hungry Sully," she said.
"You were sleepin' for a long time," said Brian, "Are you feelin' okay?"
"Yes Brian." Then after a moment, "actually, I'm still very tired. May I excuse myself? I think I'd like to go back to bed."
Everyone looked at her puzzled. Then Matthew said, "You must have been workin' yourself to death at college, Colleen."
"I must say I agree, Colleen," said Andrew. "I hope you haven't pushed yourself too hard."
"I'm sure I haven't," she heard herself saying. "Andrew, forgive me, but I must go lay down. I'll come see you tomorrow, I promise," and with that she swept upstairs.
The family sat still for a moment. Then Sully said, "I'm sure she just needs a good night's rest."
Andrew sat down again and said," Yes, I'm sure she's just been studying alot."
They finished their dinner.
"Ma wanted me to give you these supplies," she said, offering them. He took them, then beckoned her to come in. She did so, then said, "And I want to apologize for last night. I'm very sorry for leavin' so abruptly. It's just that I was so tired, I wasn't thinkin' straight."
"That's alright, Colleen," he said. "College must have been very tough these past few months. You look positively worn out."
"It was a lot of hard work," she agreed, "But nothing out of the ordinary. Lately I've just been more tired than usual." Looking at his face, full of concern, she added, "But I'm sure you're right, Andrew. Likely I haven't realized how hard it really was."
"I have some time off in about an hour," he said. "Would you like to go to lunch at Grace's Cafe?"
Her eyes shone. "I'd love to," she said. "I'll be at Ma's clinic. Pick me up there?"
Andrew nodded and Colleen went off.
Something wasn't right, she told herself, though she didn't know what it was. She was always tired, and ever since yesterday, even a bit achy. She felt her forehead as she walked down the road. It seemed that she had a slight fever. Well, she wasn't going to tell Ma, who very likely wouldn't let her go out for lunch then. She decided to just put it out of her mind and enjoy the day.
*******
"Colleen? Are you okay?" Andrew interrupted her thoughts. "You're breathing rather hard. Maybe we should sit down."
"Oh no, that's alright," she said. She inhaled slowly and deeply, feeling the air rush into her lungs. It hurt a bit, but she wasn't going to let Andrew know. "We're almost at Grace's," she said. "I'll sit down there."
"Okay," said Andrew, staring at her, unconvinced. He held her more securely and walked on. She was glad for the support, for she now was beginning to feel dizzy. What was going on?
"Andrew," her voice wavered. She clutched at him dizzily. "I think I need to sit -"
Her sentence remained unfinished as she began to fall to the ground.
Andrew caught her and swung her into his arms. "Colleen? " he asked. "Colleen, what's the matter?" Her pale body lay limp in his arms. He carried her as fast as he could to Dr. Quinn's clinic, banging in the door with his foot.
"Andrew?..." Michaela saw who he was holding. "Colleen!" she ran to him. "Lay her down on the table," Michaela directed him. He did so, then moved to her head, placing his hand on it.
"She's burning up," Andrew declared. "Dear God, I've never felt someone so hot."
Dr. Quinn handed him a thermometer. "Hold this in her mouth and find out how high." She got a stethoscope and started listening to Colleen's chest.
At that moment, Brian walked into the clinic. "Hi Ma, I'm out for lunch - " he stopped when he saw Colleen. "Colleen! Ma, what's wrong with Colleen?"
"She's very sick, Brian. Brian!! Can you ride out to the homestead and find Sully, please!"
"Sure Ma," he looked at Colleen lovingly, then ran out.
Andrew looked at the thermometer and turned white. "Michaela," he said, his voice shaking, "It's 106."
Dr. Quinn froze. "What?"
Andrew started moving very quickly. "We have to get her temperature down, and quickly."
Matthew stormed into the clinic. "Dr. Mike - Brian just told me. Is she going to be okay?"
Dr. Mike turned to Matthew, speechless. Andrew went into action. "Matthew, we need your help. Take the the tub out and fill it with ice. Colleen's temperature is very high, too high to keep her stable, and we need to get it down."
"Sure thing," Matthew grabbed the tub and went out.
Michaela was still standing there. "Dr. Quinn. Dr. Quinn!" yelled Andrew. "You listened to Colleen's lungs? Did you hear anything?"
Michaela came partially back, "Shallow breath, but her lung are clear."
"I don't understand what she could have."
Matthew came barreling back in, struggling with the tub. "Robert E. chopped up all of Grace's iceblocks."
"Good," said Andrew.
Colleen's eyes fluttered open and everyone rushed to her side. "Colleen?" asked Dr. Quinn.
Colleen's head moved from side to side. "Leave me alone! Please, I'm hurting - just leave me alone!"
Andrew glanced at Michaela. "She's delusional..."
"Colleen, honey," Michaela soothed her. "Please, tell me where it hurts."
Colleen started sobbing. Andrew felt as if his heart would break. She was so innocent, so beauthiful, he couldn't bear to see her go through this. But in his capacity now, as a doctor, he had to be strong, keep a head on his shoulders.
"Oh Ma!" she began crying hysterically. "Ma, make it stop! Oh please, make it stop!"
Andrew could see Michaela on the verge of tears, her own daughter pleading with her to perform an instant miracle was almost too much.
"Colleen," he said softly, "Where does it hurt?"
"My back," she pointed to her lower back. "And it hurts to breathe. It hurts!" she wailed.
Andrew took his stethoscope and listened to her chest again. It was true, her breath was very shallow, but nothing else seemed to be there. He gently turned Colleen on her side and inspected her back. Nothing, no bruises, nothing. He lightly pushed down.
Colleen screamed. "Leave me alone!" she tried to hit Andrew. He jumped back.
Michaela in the meantime had been feeling Collen's forehead. "Andrew," she informed him. "We have to get her cooled down now!"
Andrew nodded. In one swift move, he gathered Colleen in his arms and placed her in the tub of ice. She screamed and thrashed.
"What are you doing?! Leave me alone!!" She kept trying to hit Andrew.
Matthew, seeing Andrew was having a hard time holding her in, ran to the tub and restrained Colleen.
"Please Colleen," he begged, tears running down his face. "This is for your own good. Please..."
"Colleen," Andrew soothed. "I know it's cold for you, but your body is very hot, too hot for it to remain functioning this way, and we need to get it cooler."
Colleen looked at him in a moment of comprehension. "Andrew," she asked, "What is happening to me?"
He took her hand in his. "I don't know yet," he admitted, "but we're going to find out." She nodded and for a brief moment he had his Colleen back.
Then all of a sudden she gasped and cried out. "Colleen! What is it?" he asked. She removed her hand from his and grabbed her chest. "I can't breathe! Oh, Andrew, it hurts! Andrew - " her head fell back.
"Michaela!" Andrew shouted.
"Get her on the table," Michaela shouted back.
Andrew and Matthew lifted her dripping wet from the tub and placed her back on the table.
Oh my God Colleen," said Andrew, "Don't you leave me!!! You're not going to leave me!" He bent over her and breathed into her lungs.
*******
"Andrew, you should go to bed," said Michaela, looking up.
He shook his head. "No, I can't. But you should Michaela. This has been a rough day."
(continued)
by Michelle Iris Pagan
Michaela looked down for a moment, then back up at him. "Andrew,... I know this must be so hard for you...seeing Colleen..." her voice faltered. She looked down at her books, then said," I've been looking through these all night. I can't find anything that has anything remotely to do with Colleen's symptoms."
Andrew bent over the table to look at her books. "Nothing?" he asked incredously.
Michaela began to cry. "Colleen is lying in a room upstairs with an illness, and I can't do anything to help." Her sobs became more hysterical.
"Oh, God, Andrew," she cried, "Today, when she was imploring me to make her pain stop...and I couldn't do anything....oh God, give me the pain!" she looked up at the ceiling, "Give me the pain! She's so young...and full of life."
Andrew reached out and held Michaela's hand. He was choked up, couldn't think of any words to say.
"Michaela," he began slowly. "You're one of the finest doctors I've ever seen, and certainly the best I've ever had the pleasure of working beside. If anyone can help Colleen, it's you."
Sully knocked on the open door of the clinic. "Any change?" he asked slowly.
Andrew shook his head. "She's still sleeping." He turned to Michaela. "Michaela, you should go home. I'll stay here with Colleen."
Michaela shook her head. "I can't. I have to be near her - just in case."
Sully glanced at Andrew, then said, "Matthew's with Brian and Katie back at the homestead. Why don't you take a room upstairs, Michaela. You need to get some sleep."
Michaela nodded. She turned to Andrew. "You'll wake me if there's any change?"
He nodded. "Of course."
Sully helped Michaela upstairs. Andrew ran a hand through his tangled chestnut locks. Grabbing a bunch of Michaela's medical books, he went back up to Colleen's room. Inside, he found her tossing and turning. "Colleen?" he asked, but there was no response. He felt her forehead and frowned, seeing it still very warm.
"Andrew?" asked Collen. Her eyes were open and feverishly bright, but she wasn't looking at him.
"Yes Colleen," he said.
"I don't think you quite understand."
"Understand what?"
"No, no, see, you don't understand. See, it's very hard for me to put into words."
His body tensed. She was speaking to him, but in her own delirium-world.
"What I feel for you...it's more than I can express. I know you care for me - I don't know exactly how much, but I know you do care. But I... love you Andrew. More than words can say. When I see you, my heart skips a beat, I get all jittery. I... want you to view me as a sophisticated woman, like the ones you're used to from back East, instead of some immature, wild, school girl."
"Oh God Colleen," he stopped. He realized he oughtent be hearing these words, that she hadn't meant for him to know this about her, not yet anyway, but...
Her voice drifted off.
Rejected, Andrew sat back in his chair, keeping watch over Colleen. He absent-mindedly turned the pages of the medical journal, as he thought back to the first day he met her. In the mud in front of Dr. Quinn's clinic, when she'd offered him a hand. He remembered the kiss they had shared, and when he had asked her to become his partner after she graduated. Her acceptance had brought pure joy into his heart - a happiness-filled world had been awaiting him. But now... now it was about to be ripped from him...his love. The only girl he had ever truly loved in his solitary world, the one that until Colorado Springs had been purely academic for him. With his new life in Colorado, he had found within him a new soul, and with Colleen a happiness, such as he had never known. And if it should be taken away, now? Before any of it had begun?
Tears began to collect in his eyes. "Oh Colleen," the words fell from his mouth. "You can't leave me...I need you..."
He fell asleep by the bed reading the medical journal, his head on the sheets by her arm.
*******
"Michaela?" he sat up in bed.
Throwing a shawl around her shoulders she said, "I have to go check on Colleen."
She slowly opened the door to Colleen's room. She saw Andrew's head down on the bed, medical book by his side and walked over to him. Gently, she shook him.
He slowly awoke, his eyes trying to open.
"Michaela?" he asked.
"How is she?"
"Holding on. But her fever hasn't broken yet. I'd better keep looking through these books. I'll be downstairs. Call me if you need me." He stood up and left the room.
Michaela sat on the edge of her bed, looking at her beautiful daughter. She smoothed her hand over Colleen's brow.
Sully, without Michaela's noticing, snuck in the room and sat beside her. "How is she?" he asked.
"Andrew says there's been no change. Oh Sully! If she doesn't get better...!" she buried her face in his chest.
His arms enclosed around her. "Michaela, she will. She's strong, and determined - she can fight this out." But deep inside, Sully wasn't so sure. It had been rare, if ever, that Dr. Quinn couldn't diagnose an illness. Now, neither could Dr. Cook. And the thought frightened him. He looked over at Colleen. He had known the child all his life, and even though it hadn't been until fairly recently that they'd become family, he still loved her with all his heart. She had made him so proud by having the ambition to follow in Dr. Mike's footsteps in her wanting to be a doctor - and he so much wanted to see her succeed. She had been through so much in her short life - and he couldn't bear to see it all come to an end now. Not now.