Behind the Scenes

BEHIND THE SCENES 
by
STEVEN SAUTTER

It was a Thursday.  For some reason, it’s always Thursday when things go wrong.  And if you think I’m going to say ‘It must be Thursday.  I never could get the hang of Thursdays.’, you’re wrong.  But then, I suppose I just said it… Regardless, it was a Thursday.

I had just exited the local book shop, where I picked up a copy of the latest Terry Pratchett novel, when a old green jeep came careening towards me.  I managed to jump out of the way just in time and the jeep collided with the fire hydrant in front of the store.  A man holding what looked like a model of the Eiffel Tower came out of the smashed jeep.  He pointed the Tower at me and shouted, ‘For the glory of Yek!’, and ran at me, full speed.

I dropped the book bag and held aloft the umbrella I was carrying.  He came at me with the Eiffel Tower model , which gave off a slight humming noise.  Now, normally I’m a pacifist, but when a madman attacks you with a humming model of the Eiffel Tower, you have to act.  I gave him a rap on the shins with the umbrella handle.  He made a swing at me with the model and I ducked.  I came back with a punch to the gut followed by an uppercut to the jaw.  The man fell back onto the pavement with a satisfying thud.

By this time, a large group of people were gathered around the two of us, interested in what had just happened.  Someone had called the police on their cell phone and they soon arrived.  I gave the sergeant my statement, not that there was much to tell, and I was free to go.  So, I went.

It was around 7:00 PM when I got home.  I checked the messages on my answering machine, the only one was from Jackie, calling to say she’d be late.  ‘Just as well,’ I said and went to go clean myself up.  Half an hour later, Jackie arrived and I was feeling refreshed.

‘Now, why are you here?’ I asked jokingly.

‘Can’t a man’s best friend come to visit him in his own home?’ she responded.

‘Depends,’ I said.

‘No thanks, I’m not that old.’

I let her in with a grin.  ‘I rented the movie yesterday.’ I said, picking up a video left on the dining room table.

‘What are we seeing?’ she asked.

‘Star Trek: Generations.’

She crinkled her nose, ‘Fanboy.’ she said mockingly.

‘Always.’

I put on the movie and as we sat on the couch I told her the day’s big event.  It seemed silly now, just a random attack from a looney on a bender.  But I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was part of something bigger.

Time passed, as it frequently does, and the movie was in full swing.  It had just reached the part where the Enterprise-D was going to crash into the planet.  The door burst open and two thugs dressed all in black ran in, carrying those models of the Eiffel Tower.

On the screen, Data said, ‘Oh shit!’ My sentiments exactly pal, I thought.  Jackie and I ducked behind the sofa.  ‘For the glory of Yek!’ one of the thugs shouted.  He held the Tower in his hand and fired it above our heads.  Part of the wall behind us vaporized.

‘Do something!’ cried Jackie.  She was sobbing hysterically, she had never gone through anything like this before.  And before this afternoon, neither had I.

I stood up from behind the sofa.  The thugs pointed their weapons at me.  Before they could fire, I shouted, ‘I surrender!’  This distracted the goons long enough for Jackie to run out through the broken door.  I was 
going to follow when a thug grabbed my shoulder in his enormous hand.

‘You,’ he grunted, ‘are coming with us.’

I was blindfolded and driven around for hours.  It was like something out of an old spy movie or a bad episode of Batman.  We finally arrived somewhere.  My blindfold was removed and I was thrown into a broom closet.

‘Let me out!’ I shouted, ‘You’ll hear from my lawyer!’

‘It won’t help you know,’ said a voice from deeper in the closet.

‘Who are you?’

‘No one in particular.  Just call me Fred.’

‘OK, Fred, what is this place?  Why are we here?’

‘I was captured, same as you.  I was investigating this operation.’

‘Sorry?’

‘Eros is a rose is a sore.’

‘Very nice, now what’s going on?’

‘Yek is the key.’

‘Yek?  Where have I…  Yes, that’s it!  Yek is that person that those goons were talking about.’

‘Not a person.  Something far worse.’

‘Worse?  He’s alien…or it’s an alien?’

‘It’s the servant of Fenric.’

‘Fenric?’

‘An ancient evil from before the dawn of time.’

‘Oh, is that all?’

‘Fenric was banished from this realm fifty years ago by the being known as the Doctor.’

‘The Doctor?’

‘Travels through time righting wrongs and protecting cats.  Anyway, Fenric planted his curse in many before his banishment.  He created his servant, Yek, to try and free him after the Doctor had left.  It’s taken him fifty years to make the necessary arrangements but Fenric will be resurrected tonight.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yes.’

‘Kind of depressing isn’t it?’ I said.

‘Yes.’

‘But who are you?  How do you know about this?’

‘I am a Graak, an electro-telepathic entity created by the Doctor.  the Doctor occasionally creates one of us if he’s in trouble or when there’s something he’s forgotten.  It’s a subconscious thing mostly.’

The door to the cupboard opened and a thug walked in.

‘You,’ he said, pointing at me, ‘come with us.’

‘Us?’ I said, ‘There’s only seems to be one of you.’

‘Oh…uh…’

‘What’s the matter?  Can’t deal with something outside your system?’

‘Well…’

The Graak moved forward and touched the guard, who fell over with a groan.

‘What did you do to him?’ I asked.

‘Shocked him, part of my defenses.  I now no longer have enough energy to continue my existence.  You will have to stop Yek yourself.  The machinery that will return Fenric to this world is on the first level of this complex.

‘Stop Fenric from returning…’

‘Good bye, Fred.’

And with that, the Graak disappeared, presumably back to the Doctor’s mind or something.
I rushed out of the room and into the elevator.  My mind raced, trying to process all this information, and trying to figure out how to stop Yek.  The elevator stopped at the first level and I cautiously walked out.  There seemed to be no guards, so avoiding them was easy.  I burst into the 
room where the Graak had said everything would be, shouting, ‘Stop this!’

The room’s only occupant was a small fellow with an umbrella not dissimilar to my own, only with a red-question mark handle instead of a standard hook.

‘There’s no need for all this,’ he said in a faint Scottish burr, ‘Yek has been stopped, Fenric will remain banished and everyone will eat their rice pudding in peace.’

‘And who are you?’ I asked suspiciously.

‘Oh, do forgive me.  I’m the Doctor.’

‘The Doctor!  The Graak told me about you.’

‘Ah, yes.  You see, I had completely forgotten about Fenric’s escape plan, so many things going on at once.  The Graak’s "death" awakened that memory, so I popped over in the TARDIS,’ he said indicating a battered British police box sitting in a corner of the room.  ‘I arrived just when Yek was about to bring Fenric back.  I threw a neutron ram into his works and the rest, as they say, is history.’

‘Oh.’ I said meekly.  ‘So how did I become involved in all this?’ I asked.

‘Erm, I’m not quite sure,’ he said with a toothy grin.  ‘You might have accidentally stumbled across something in your work…I don’t know.  You can go home now.’

‘Oh, can I?’

‘Yes.’

‘One thing.’

‘Yes?’ the Doctor asked.

‘Can you take me home?  I have no idea where I am in relationship to the rest of the world.’

‘Why not?’ he replied.