Yeah right. Call the match my foot. From the opening bell it was pandemonium all the way. Midway through the match, The Billion Dollar McMahon and The Stooges pulled an Austin and drove in with a flat bed truck, which they used to pull the door off the Cell. At that point, everyone throught it would be a brilliant idea to climb the Cell. Rikishi ended up getting knocked off by UT and landing inside the biggest hamster cage ever. Back in the ring, Austin vs. Rock was teased which resulted in a Stunner on the Rock. Triple H made the save and hit a neckbreaker on Austin. Angle sneaked in and pinned the Rock while no one was looking. Because of the match's background this was a more enjoyable match than anything else on the PPV. Plus, it's a big win for Angle. He now looks like he belongs in the same ring with the main eventers.
Rating: ***
Good hot crowd opener. This was elimination rules by the way. Eddie was put out quickly because of his injury after a Swanton Bomb from Jeff Hardy. A minute later, Saturn hit the Death Valley Driver on Jeff to eliminate him. After a few minutes, Saturn was taken out with a Twist of Fate from Matt. After a catfight between Lita and Terri, Matt was rolled up and pinned by Dean. A good squash followed, with Lita bumping like a madwoman for Dean's offense. He won the match after a Texas Cloverleaf.
Rating: **3/4
This was a big heaping of okay. After some brawling, Holly got a two count from a belly to back suplex. He went up top for a... something... but Regal got his foot up. Holly came back with his dropkick and a guillotine legdrop. Regal applied the Regal Stretch, but Holly was too close to the ropes. Holly hit Regal with his Luger arm, but Raven interfered, hit the Screwjob DDT, and left. Regal got the easy pin.
Rating: **1/4
Kind of like the Radicalz vs. Regeneration X match last month, it wasn't really good, but showcased Benoit's technical superiority over Gunn. Benoit tried to work some psychology in by working on Gunn's leg, but The One (and thank God, the only) Billy Gunn seemed to forget to sell it at every turn. Benoit hit the German suplexes and missed his flying headbutt. Gunn hit a jackhammer and FameAsser for a two count. Benoit came back with the Crippler Crossface, but Gunn made it to the ropes. Gunn tried a tilt-a-whirl, but remembered his knee was supposed to be hurt and/or screwed up the move. Benoit got the Crossface locked in and Gunn tapped this time.
Rating: **
More Raw-caliber stuff. Basically, there's no chance (in Hell?) of me calling this match either. Christian hit the Tomikazee-like Move on Buh Buh for the win.
Rating: **
This match was kind of average until the ending when things got REALLY bad. They brawled out of the ring and into the tech area. Jericho bulldogged Kane onto a table. He decided to push over some barrels to keep Kane down. Unfortunately, some vicious prankster seemed to have glued all the barrels together and they didn't go down quite so easy. Finally Jericho got them to tip over, and they landed on Kane with a blatantly plastic "THUNK!" Jericho, deciding that nothing could save this match, laid on top of the barrels while the ref counted Kane down.
Rating: *1/2
Thanks to the FF button, I didn't even have to watch this, but its place here seems about right. Val hit the fisherman's suplex for the pin. After the match came the most entertaining part, which was Ivory's facial expressions as Chyna went after her. Val then came back and powerbombed her.
Rating: *1/4
Basically, this was a waste of time. Ivory won, somehow. T & A came out and intinidated Molly, but Crash "I'm a Distraction!" Holly ran out. When they turned their attention to him, The Acolytes made their return, attacking Test and Albert.
Rating: *
Even though most of the matches sucked, the event wasn't really all that bad. It was a case of the whole being better than the sum of its parts.
Overall PPV Rating: **1/2