LONDON, England, May 8 /CNW/ - It was announced today that pro wrestling’s newest free agent, Bill Goldberg, has now signed with the WWF. Paul Steele, Chief Operating Officer for WWF International comments: “This is extremely exciting news for the fans and donors of the World Wildlife Fund, as we have signed wrestling sensation Bill Goldberg as our latest acquisition.” Goldberg apparently impressed the WWF with his campaign against cockfighting a few years back, and felt that he would do well in other aspects of the WWF. “Now that Goldberg is on our side, deforestation, poaching… they’re all going down,” Steele comments.
Others feel that this is yet another attempt by the Fund to hinder the practices of the former World Wrestling Federation, who was recently forced to change their name and logo after a long court battle. Now calling itself World Wrestling Entertainment, CEO Linda McMahon sheds some light on her theory as to why the WWF has signed Goldberg: “It is indeed a confusing move by the World Wildlife Fund. We in World Wrestling Entertainment feel that is hypocritical of the Fund to want to ‘clear the water’ between our two organizations as not to confuse people into believing that the two are the same, yet sign a wrestling personality to appear at all their charity events. It makes us wonder about the legitimacy of the Fund’s motives. If they steal away Goldberg, what’s to stop them from stealing away Raven, or Rhyno?” Others are a bit more blunt, such as wrestling message board guru boobrider69: “i tink taht the world wild life fund sux and the only reason tehy sined Goldburg waz to try and put teh WWE out of bizness. goldburg should JACKHAMMER! SPLAT! GRR! the pandafukers and make them to give teh WWE their old name bac. wWF 4eva lol!”
We recently caught up with Bill Goldberg, the man whom all this controversy surrounds, who had this to say: “I thought I signed with a wrestling organization. What the $&%@ is all this about pandas?”
In a related note, the WWF is now looking into signing Scott Hall, who was recently released by WWE, and Michael Hayes’s mullet, which was recently released from Michael Hayes’s head.