Heat Wave 2000

Rob Van Dam vs. Scotty 3

I swear to God he has to be, like, the third Scotty. Kind of sad that this was the best match of the night. You all know the drill. Pose by RVD. Pose by Scotty. Clap. Clap. RVD! PCP! DVD! Van Dam with a couple of impressive combinations. RVD! LSD! AARP! Van Dam with the Van Daminator. RVD! TNT! NAACP! Van Dam with the FIve Star Frog Splash. RVD! BLT! Set me free! RVD with the Van Terminator. RV... Holy Sh--, that WAS impressive! RVD with a three count.
Rating: **3/4

Guano Maritato vs. Psicosis vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck- International Four Way Dance

During the introductions, The Sinister Minister and Mikey came down and made it a four way dance, because this is ECW, you know. Shortly thereafter, Fat Bastard, and Tony Mamaluke interfered... well, Sal stood outside the ring while Tony did most of the interfering. That is, he was quickly knocked down, then he left. That sure accomplished a lot. Sal rammed Mikey into the post, and rolled him into the ring where he was pinned by Guido. After several minutes, Guido hit the Kiss of Death on Psicosis, but was kicked off by Tajiri. Tajiri hit a German Suplex on Psicosis to eliminate him. Tajiri caught Guido in a... um... some kind of weird surfboard variation, and followed up with the Tarantula. Kiss of Death attempt, but Tajiri gets out, spits the visible bad breath in Tajiri's face, and gives him a brainbuster onto a chair for the pin. I didn't like the use of inanimate objects during the match, because these guys didn't need them. Mikey has sure put on some weight. Psicosis wasn't in there too long either.
Rating: **1/2

Jerry Lynn vs. Santa Claus

This might have been a good match, but with a distraction like Corino bleeding like a stuck pig for twelve minutes, anyone could have missed the action. Weird bit in the middle where Lynn used Corino's blood as war paint and painted the word DIE on his stomach with it. The end came when Corino tried a backslide and Lynn reversed it into the Cradle Piledriver for the win.
Rating: **1/4

The Flash & Sandman Lite vs. Das Wunderbaldies

"Eh." That pretty much sums this one up. Poor Nova was stuck in that red outfit and Chetti looked almost exactly like a thin Sandman. New Jack came out at the beginning for no particular reason, not even bothering to sell his leg injury. Da Baldies attacked him, when Nova and Chetti came out for the save, and thus, MATCH. Loved Nova's rolling piledrivers ala Chris Benoit's German Suplexes followed by a spinning powerbomb. Chetti hit the Amityville Horror, and then they hit the Tidal Wave for the pin.
Rating: **

Kid Kash, Roadkill, and Ralph Maccio vs. Simon Diamond, Swinger, and Vader Lite

"Eh." That sums up this match too. There were three good workers in this match and three lousy ones, so it kind of balanced out to average. I won't go into too much detail, but Kash finished it off with the Moneymaker for the pin.
Rating: **

Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible- Stairway to Hell Match for the ECW World Title

There was a big fiasco with XPW people at the beginning of the match, which prompted a lot of controversy I'm not going to talk about here. There was also a match I don't feel like describing here. Basically, a senseless heel turn by George, Tommy took a nasty fall off the ladder when he sort of fell off the ladder instead of with it, landing on a merchandise stand. Someone got the barbed wire at the top, Credible managed to crotch himself on it, but eventually, he utilized That's Incredible onto the wire for the win.
Rating: *1/2

The Beer Elemental vs. The Rookie Monster

Stuff happened and I didn't pay attention. Rhino won somehow.
Rating: *

Balls Mahoney vs. Fat Bastard

I don't know if I should really call this a match, but here it goes. Balls. Balls. Balls. Sal....... Sal...... Chair! Sal.... Squish! Sal!
Rating: *

Overall PPV Rating: **

Not really very good. I remember when I used to look forward to ECW PPVs more than WWF ones because at least a few great matches would take place. Oh well. Better luck next time, guys.

Email: NykkPPV@aol.com