Seeing as how this is about a month late, this will be VERY brief 'n brutal, since I don't feel like describing the matches too much.
As is the usual, RVD and Lynn had an incredibly good match, though RVD was still hurting from his leg injury. This probably wasn't as good as last year's Hardcore Heaven match, which means it was way below their Living Dangerously '99 match. Lynn actually beat RVD after an assist from RVD's friend Scotty (isn't he like the third Scotty? I could have sworn the last one was black). Lynn hit a cradle piledriver onto a chair for the three count.
Rating: ***1/4
Well, Justin Credible DOES look like Bull Buchanan on casual day. These two had a fine match, which shows that Credible can work when carried by a good worker. There was the obligatory cat fight in the middle of the thing, however. No matter how much I may appreciate two beautiful women rolling around the ring while holding each other's hair gently, or as Styles would tell say, "beating the hell out of each other!" can't it wait until after the match? Credible with That's Incredible for the pin. Tommy Dreamer came out afterwards to do stuff.
Rating: ***
Keep reading and you'll get why I called Steve Corino Santa Claus. These two had a good match also, but it was plagued by run-ins and garbage wrestling toward the end. Humorous spot saw Tajiri lock Corino in an abdominal stretch. Jack Victory came in, but Tajiri used his visible bad breath to persuade him to go away. Tajiri won after double stomping Corino through a table. Corino bladed during the match, and boy did he ever. By the end, his hair was totally red from the blood. Kintaro Kanemura brawled with Tajiri after the match, which prompted Oldust to even the odds.
Rating: **3/4
Doring and Roadkill were eliminated after a gee-tar shot from Angel. Afterwards, Roadkill put Grimes through a table on the outside after a nasty looking springboard splash. Chetti and Nova won the match with The Tidal Waveon DeVito. Since there has to be some kind of clusterf*ck every match, out came New Jack and his bucket of parts. He did what he always does which means he hit people with things. Er, wait, I'm not done...(see bottom of review)
Rating: **1/4
This wasn't bad either. Inexplicably, the arena lost power during the match, so it was kind of hard to see. Diamond said he was not a comedy act.
Croooooow: Look at the people with you!
He had Mitch, The Prodigy, The Prodigette, and D' Artagnan. The funny thing was that The Musketeer couldn't make it onto camera until Simon was in the ring. His sudden appearance shocked Croooooow and I, who hadn't seen ECW for weeks.
Croooooow: D'haaaaa!
Me: Where the hell did he come from?
Croooooow: Big on chocolate, not on fat!
So anyway... That Guy Satan, the Sinister Minister was there with Mikey, and Fat Bastard was with Guido. Simon was eliminated first with the Whippersnapper, and a few minutes later, Mikey blew a fireball into Sal's face, but Guido got him into the Moritano for the three count.
Rating: **1/4
It started out as Elektra vs. Anyoneinthebackwho'stoughenoughtofaceher. Jazz came out but was ganged up on by the Dangerous Alliance (I'll let you figure out that statement yourself). Kash came to the rescue, and faced off against Anderson. This match was real "eh" but it had its high points. Kash won with the hurricanrana from the top.
Rating: **
Chairs. Chairs. Chairs. Chairs.... chairs. Balls. Balls. Balls. Chairs... Tanaka. Tanaka. That's pretty much how the match felt. Masato Tanaka beat Mahoney with the Roaring Elbow. I find it funny that they can hit each other with chairs a hundred times and Balls is knocked out by Tanaka's elbow. This was kind of exciting and slightly innovative, though, so I give it an average grade.
Rating: **
This wasn't that good. I keep wondering if Sandman's strategy is to take so long getting to the ring that the Rookie Beast Man Monster Thing falls asleep for an easy pin. Victory and Corino ran in eventually. Corino had a bandage around his head. For those too lazy (like me) to put the pieces together, Corino's now red hair with a bandage at the base made him look like he was wearing... a SANTA CLAUS hat! Get it now? Lori ran in also, and got piledriven through a table by Rhino. When Sandman picked up Lori, they both got Gored through a table in the corner. Rhino pinned The Sandman.
Rating: *1/2
(continued from the Tag Team Three Way Dance)... Somehow a match spawned out of this last one when New Jack and Angel started hitting each other with things. Some weapons/puns were a keyboard ("The key to success!"), a 2x4 ( "Man, I'm board!"), and a fork ("Stick a fork in him, he's done!") The obligatory balcony jump was utilized also. New Jack hit the 187 chair dive, which he hasn't used forever, and pinned Angel. I'm tired of giving a quarter of a star for those repetitive balcony dives, so New Jack's matches lose it for lack of creativity.
Rating: *
Overall PPV Rating: **3/4
I expected this PPV to be bad, but it was actually quite decent, New Jack nonwithstanding. The ECW production kept having problems throughout the show, and to explain each of them, here's Croooooow!
(from Croooooow's Running It into the Ground for 5/17)
Problem: Joey Styles and Joel Gertner look around for about three minutes saying nothing before walking slowly out of the ring with no explanation.
Official Explanation: Tommy Dreamer, bloodied and disoriented, stumbles into the arena off camera and distracts everyone.
Real Explanation: Styles and Gertner were waiting for Cyrus to interrupt.
Problem: The lights go out during the Whipwreck/Simon Diamond/Little Guido match.
Explanation: Tommy Dreamer, bloodied and disoriented, tripped over the cord.
Problem: Name graphics constantly blinking in and out of existance.
Explanation: Tommy Dreamer, bloodied and disoriented, falls on the keyboard of the editing computer.
Problem: Da' Baldies are booked against Nova/Chetti & Danny Doring/Roadkill.
Explanation: Tommy Dreamer, bloodied and disoriented, writes a message for help on the booking chalkboard, but he so weak the message is illegible and translated wrong.
That's all for now!