You know something? I'm lazy. I really am.
What I expected from this match was a lot of cool submission holds and mat wrestling, and that's what I got. Jericho went for an armbar, but Benoit reversed it and went for a Tombstone? Tombstone? Tombstone? No, shoulder breaker. Benoit hit his head butt from the top and locked on a reverse chinlock. Jericho escaped and went for the Walls of Jericho, but it was blocked. Benoit started working on Jericho's arm and went for that cross-armbar-thingie that I can't remember the name of. Jericho reached the ropes. Jericho dropkicked the knee and began to claw at Benoit's knee brace. He hit Benoit with the brace in the knee and put on a figure four leglock. Benoit escaped, but was victim to a Lionsault. Jericho did a weird thing on the ropes that looked like a cross between the Walls of Jericho and the Tarantula. He let go, but Benoit hit two continuous German suplexes. Jericho attempted the Walls again, but Benoit grabbed the knee brace and hit Jericho in the face with it. He locked on the Crippler Crossface, but Jericho made it to the ropes. Benoit released him, dragged him back to the center of the ring and put it back on. Jericho eventually passed out, causing the ref to stop the match.
Rating: ***1/2
Some would argue that this match deserves the honors of match of the night, but the beginning few minutes were rather boring, and there were some parts that I disapproved of. HHH sent his family to the back because he wants to do this by himself. They just stand there for the first few minutes, which some would say is psychology, but what I say is them killing time so they don't have to wrestle the entire sixty minutes. By the time they locked up, the crowd was electric. I'm going to skim through this one. About ten minutes in, The Rock scored the first pinfall with the Rock Bottom. He worked over HHH's leg by putting on a figure four. HHH tried to reverse it and eventually did so, but he couldn't hold it and they rolled back into the ropes. At about twenty five minutes in, HHH battled back and hit the Pedigree to tie the score 1-1. About a minute later, HHH countered a clothesline into a really weak looking inside cradle and got a pinfall. It's now 2-1. They brawled around the aisle for a few minutes, and Shawn Michaels said there would be no bullsh-- countouts. Well, duh. A double count out would be pointless because it would count as a fall for both men and they would cancel out. Back in the ring, HHH nailed the Rock with a piledriver for another fall. 3-1, Triple H. Triple H, up top possibly to go for a... something... but the Rock catches him and beels him to the other side of the ring. However, HHH countered with a sleeper hold. Shawn did the hand drop thing, but Rock powered out. HHH tried several times to use the ropes, but Michaels kicked him away. HHH yelled at Shawn, but The Rock attacked from behind and hit a DDT for a fall. 3-2, Triple H. Outside the ring, HHH hit the Rock with the bell, and used the steps. Back in the ring, HHH hit the Rock with a chair and Shawn DQed him. 3-3. However, the Rock was knocked out and bleeding. HHH, using the ropes for leverage, got another pinfall. 4-3, Triple H. HHH locked on a sleeper hold. Shawn did the hand drop thing, but on three, the Rock powered out. HHH locked the sleeper back on, and this time the Rock didn't get his hand up. It was now 5-3, Triple H. Shawn had to pull HHH off the Rock. The Rock recovered as they were arguing and sent HHH over the top. Triple H nailed the camera man on the way down. HHH recovered and went up top, but the Rock crotched him. He then hit a superplex from the top. They went back outside, and HHH set the Rock on the ENGLISH announcing table. HHH went for a Rock Bottom on the table, but Rock reversed into a Pedigree! Oh my God! You bent the English announcing table! You bastards! The Rock went back in the ring and let HHH get counted out. 5-4, Triple H. The McMannequins appeared as Shawn was making another count, but HHH made it back at nine. With two minutes remaining, Rock hit the People's Elbow to tie it 5-5. As Rock was going for the People's Elbow, Shawn made a sideways movement and I thought he was going to superkick the Rock again! He didn't, but intentional or unintentional, it was a nice touch. Shawn was drug from the ring by Shane, but he got flattened. On the apron, Shawn got knocked into the guardrail as the McMahons entered the ring. Suddenly, the Judgment Day girls were on the TitanTron and we heard the sound of a motorcycle. DOA? No, The Undertaker! The crowd really lit up, and UT came in and cleaned house on the McMahon-Helmsley Era/Coallition/Regime/Faction. With six seconds remaining, UT chokeslammed HHH. Shawn saw it and called for the bell, though it never rang. HHH wins, 6-5! New WWF Champ. That was probably one of the better main events in the last two years.
Rating: ***1/2
I'll go with this one as the next best, though it had a little too much comedy. Pre-match, the heels did a great bit where they unveiled their new pose by dressing up as a jug band. Edge even put in redneck teeth! Funny stuff.
The heels tried attacking before the bell, but the tide was turned and they were piled up in the corner. Mini-Yokozuna Butt-alanches by Too Cool. Angle, the only one left, dropped into position for the Stinkface but escaped. After a few minutes of face domination, Scotty got trapped with the heels and they focused on him for awhile. A brawl erupted, and Scotty went for The Worm. Angle clotheslined him before he could deliver. Rikishi with the Stinkface on Angle, only to be Speared by Edge. Edge tried a Worm of his own, but Scotty nailed him and did The Worm. Rikishi went for the sit-out piledriver, but Christian nailed him with the bell. Edge dropped on top of Rikishi, but Grandmaster Sexay hit the Hip Hop Drop from the top and didn't stop to flop or grow any crops, or get arrested by a cop to get the, er... pin.
Rating: **3/4
Triple Threats rarely work, and though this one had two great workers and one good worker, they were off on their spots, and they were all heels so the crowd had no one to cheer. Dean and Saturn double teamed Eddie for the first minute or so, until the inevitable double cross came. Eddie hit a double low blow, and dominated for the next few minutes. Saturn fell out of the ring somehow, and Dean put Eddie in the Texas Cloverleaf. Saturn caught Dean on the top rope, but Eddie re-emerged and got rid of Saturn. He attempted a superplex, but Dean delivered a botched gut-buster. Saturn hit a frog splash on Eddie, then put the Texas Cloverleaf on Dean. Chyna intertwined herself in this match. Stuff happened. Dean ended up getting conked with the flowers/lead pipe and got pinned after a La Magistral by Eddie.
Rating: **
I don't feel like describing this one in too much detail. It wasn't really a very good match anyway. D-von was the first one through a table, courtesy of Road Dogg. The Dudleys set up three tables in the ring. X-pac got powerbombed through one of them. As Bubbalicious was brawling with Road Dogg, the ref tried separating them. RD and Buh Buh briefly worked together to beel the ref through one of the tables in the corner. Meanwhile, Brisco decided to come out. Road Dogg was then 3Ded through a table, but the ref was out. Tori interjected herself, but Buh Buh grabbed her. Before he could put her through a table, Brisco saved her. X-pac hit the X-factor on Buh Buh through a table, and the ref saw it and declared DX the winners. After the match, the Dudleys trapped Brisco and 3Ded him through a table. Why didn't they go for the Hardcore belt? He was laid out, the ref was still in the ring, but neither attempted it!
Rating: *3/4
Ugly, ugly match, saved only by Shane's insane bumps. He tried a plancha, but the Show caught him and gave him a dosey doe into the post. Shane was thrown back into the ring, and Show went for his Agggghhhhhh! pose. The Blues Brother Bossman ran in, however. The Big Show retaliated with a headbutt and a powerbomb. He learned a new move! But here come Test Ease and The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Albert to save the day!... with chairs. He gives them both VanShowinators, and Trish Stratus runs in. The Show tries to Agggggh! The Chokeslam! her, but throws her into Albert and Test instead. Shane tried to escape, but The Show followed him to the entrance way and threw him against the metal grating. Test and Albert eat it, also. Near fall by Shane after hitting Show with a steel camera case. Apparently No Holds Barred also means Falls Count Anywhere. Here came Pat Buchanan to attack the Big Show. Shane pushed a speaker onto the Show's legs. Ooh, lots of sparklies! Shane then grabbed a cinder block, which for some reason was in the middle of the arena floor, and shattered it over the Show's head. Yet no signs of a fatal blow to the head are seen. Shane pinned the Big Show.
Rating: *1/4
Overall PPV Rating: ***1/4
Possibly the best PPV thus far this year. A lot of the matches had to be cut to make room for the main event, which was good and bad. We got a short Shane/Show showdown (alliteration is awesome!), but Jericho/Benoit was shortened as well, being only about fourteen minutes long when it should have been thirty.