The Opening Word: This is the second edition of my new and (at least I think) improved PPV Review. We've got a Fatal Four Way, Triple Threat Table Match, a Two out of Three Falls Match, and a partridge in a pear tree. Let's see how it goes.
As the Show made his entrance, he was attacked by That Woman in Black, but she failed to be effective. STOP! the presses because Show nailed Raven with the STOP sign. Into the ring they went, where it didn't take long for Crash "Am I a Holly? Someone tell me!" ran in dressed as a popcorn vendor. He was quickly taken care of by the Show, but Bob "I'm Hardcore and if ya don't believe me, I'll smack ya" Holly and Steve Blackman ran in and took him down with a kendo stick and Holly screwed the lid on tight with his windmill lid shots. But wait, there's more! "Neo" Billy Gunn ran in and gave the FameAsser to Raven to win the Hardcore Title. Holly and Blackman went after Gunn, and in a twist of irony, gave him the Sidewinder. The Show got up and clotheslined them, which allowed Raven to sneak in a pinfall on Gunn to regain his title. Raven's ninja came back down with a 2x4, but Molly Holly followed her and took her out with a trash can lid. Raven hit the Show with a trash can, but got caught and "Arrrrrgggghhhh! The Chokeslam!"ed through the trash can. The Show pinned Raven to become the new Hardcore Champion. Billy Gunn came back in after the Show, but somehow managed to botch a simple backdrop to the floor. Geez. This match had a couple of good spots, but not enough for me to like it. It's sad when Big Show and Billy Gunn can make a Hardcore match more awful than it already is.
Rating: Craptacular
The Radical participants ran to the ring to start the match. Eddie went after Jericho while Benoit went after X-pac. Benoit took out X-pac and then double teamed Jericho with Eddie. X-pac came back in and got the crap beat out him for his trouble. Benoit told Eddie to go up top and Guerrero complied. X-pac fought back with an X-Factor attempt, but Benoit reversed into the Crippler Crossface. Eddie looked confused and started yelling at Benoit, but Jericho sneaked up and crotched him on the top rope. He then broke up the hold and took Benoit outside. X-pac went up for a superplex, but Eddie shoved him off and hit the Frog Splash. Jericho broke up the pin attempt but was flattened by Benoit. Eddie put Jericho's foot on the rope as Benoit went for the pin. X-pac hit Eddie with a spinning heel kick, but Benoit hit a snap suplex on him. X-pac got back up and gave Benoit another spinning heel kick. He went for the Bronco Buster, but Jericho vaulted off the top rope to hit a missile dropkick. He covered, but Benoit hit an elbow to break up the pin. Benoit hit a German suplex on Jericho, but Eddie kicked Benoit's leg out, causing him to release Jericho. Benoit was pissed and asked Eddie what he was doing. Then he didn't even wait for an answer before laying into him. The Radicals brawled back and forth. Benoit went for a flapjack but Eddie reversed into a hurricanrana and cover! Benoit kicked out as Jericho and X-pac brawled on the floor. Eddie hit a brainbuster and then went up top, where Benoit stopped him. Benoit hit a superplex, knocking them both silly. Jericho and X-pac both covered a Radical, but both Radicals kicked out as the ref counted two falls simultaneously. Jericho hit the underhook backbreaker on Benoit. They brawled in the corner until Jericho went for the bulldog. Benoit ducked and went for a German suplex. After fighting Jericho for control, he hit the move for a two count. He goes for it again, but Jericho countered with a victory roll and then rolled through and grabbed the legs for a Walls of Jericho attempt. Just as he got him over, Eddie rushed him but Jericho took him down and went for the Walls on him. X-pac came in, and he met the same fate. Justin Credible ran down and Jericho released the hold to knock him off the apron. Benoit with a DRAGON SUPLEX! He got a two count. Benoit was pulled outside by X-pac and Credible and double superkicked. Jericho hit the Lionsault on Eddie but the pin was broken up by X-pac. He hit the X-Factor on Jericho, but Benoit broke up the pin and then nailed Credible, sending him into the barrier. He locked in the Crossface on X-pac, but Eddie broke it up with a VICIOUS rolling necksnap on Benoit. All four men were down, but Eddie and Benoit were the first to recover. Benoit hit a back suplex on Eddie, and then hit the flying headbutt from the top rope. A spin kick from X-pac put Benoit down, but Jericho immediately sneaked up from behind, rolled X-pac up and bridged for the three count! This match had a fantastic flow. The action never stopped for more than a few moments. There were no blown spots and every participant came off looking great.
Rating: Spectacular~!
They both wanted to get it on and Steph took the early advantage by tackling Trish. Trish tried to get away, but Steph caught her with a short arm clothesline. Steph took her over with a hair mare and then pulled the loose hairs off her fingers. After some more brawling, Steph tried to suplex Trish outside the ring to the floor, but was hung on the top rope. Trish then hit a bulldog and a DDT for a two count. Steph regained the advantage when Trish went to the top by slamming her to the mat. They brawled to the outside, where Trish's head was bounced off the announcer's table numerous times. Steph splashed her with water from a pitcher and tried to smash it over her head, but Trish got the urge to Herbal and avoided it. They went back in the ring and Trish went for a hurricanrana (!) but was powerbombed by Steph. She pulled down Trish's shorts for some spanking and then pulled at her shirt. Steph acted very happy until a pissed Trish charged and they hit a simultaneous face slam, knocking each other out. Meanwhile, Niles came out and tripped the ref to stop the ten count. He went in and put Trish on top of Steph, but changed his mind and put Steph's foot on the bottom rope when the ref started to count. He entered the ring again and got slapped by Trish. He apologized and then turned on her by giving her his neckbreaker! Did Ross call it The Bottleneck? Steph covered for the three count. This was way better than I expected it to be. They had great heat and the wrestling was completely watchable, with both girls trying some new stuff.
Rating: Good
First Fall: Regular Rules- Austin didn't waste any time on his entrance and they started off with a slugfest. The Thesz Press was countered by HHH, but Austin came back with a single arm DDT. HHH hightailed it, but Austin followed and focused on his arm, ramming it into the post. They went back inside, where HHH tried for a Pedigree, but couldn't get it because Austin hurt his arm. Austin utilized an armbar and then hit the Thesz Press. He followed with a spinebuster and then went to the second rope for an elbow drop, but got caught by HHH's boot. The fact that Austin's neck snapped back made it look like he damn near KILLED him. HHH hit a swinging neckbreaker and a reverse neckbreaker. HHH clipped the knee and then wrapped Austin's legs around the post. He clipped the knee again and then slapped on a figure-four, but Austin managed to reverse it. HHH elbowed the knee, but Austin used his free knee to batter his way out. He rammed HHH into the turnbuckles and hit another Thesz Press and elbow drop for two. He went for the Stunner, but HHH blocked it with a neckbreaker. Austin went for it again and HHH blocked again, going for a roll-up. Austin reversed it into a roll-up of his own, but HHH kicked out. HHH was backed into the corner, but managed a low blow. He came off the second rope, but Austin kicked him and hit the Stunner for the three count.
Second Fall: Streetfight- Austin immediately dumped HHH over the top rope and fought at the bottom of the ramp. He hit a vertical suplex on the ramp and then took HHH over to the announcing table to ram his head into it. He pulled a monitor from the Spanish announcing table and hit him with it. He grabbed three chairs and threw them into the ring. Meanwhile, HHH tried to escape into the crowd, but Austin followed him and brought him back to the ring. He worked him over with a chair, just hitting him in every place possible. HHH kicked out of a pin, which Austin responded to by bringing in the ring bell. HHH ran again, but Austin caught him by the announcer's table and brought out a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. HHH managed to grab it and bust Austin open with it. HHH took him up on the English announcing table, positioning him for a Pedigree. Austin countered and backdropped HHH all the way onto the Spanish announcing table! Oh my God! You killed the Spanish Announcing Table! Tu bastardos! Austin nailed HHH with a beer can and brought him back into the ring, where HHH grabbed the ring bell and hit Austin with it. He hit a reverse neckbreaker onto a chair, but Austin kicked out of the pin attempt. He quickly tried for another pin and then another, but Austin kept kicking out. HHH back suplexed him onto a chair for another two count. He set him up for the Pedigree again, but Austin backdropped him over the top rope. Austin then used a chair to bust open HHH. He came back by slamming Austin's head into the ring steps and then pulled out his sledgehammer, ironically enough, from under the English announcing table where Jim Ross was sitting. Lawler accused Ross of bringing it out for Austin to use. HHH missed a sledgehammer shot, and Austin went back into the ring and managed to get the sledgehammer out of HHH's grasp. HHH hit a kneelift and picked up the sledgehammer. Austin kicked him and went for the Stunner, but HHH sent him into the ropes and nailed him in the head with the sledgehammer on the rebound. He finally hit the Pedigree to get the win.
Third Fall: Steel Cage Match- The cage is brought down accompanied by its theme music. How come the cage gets its own music when they never wrote any for I.R.S.? Austin started with some right hands, but was sent into the cage. HHH grinded the barbed wire 2x4 across Austin's head. Austin grabbed a chair and smashed into HHH's head to get away. Austin got the 2x4 and grinded it into HHH's forehead. He went for the pin, but HHH kicked out and hit a DDT onto a chair. HHH tried to get out of the cage, even though he couldn't win that way. Austin pulled him to the top rope and rammed him into the cage. HHH shifted his balance, making Austin crotch himself on the ropes. HHH hit another Pedigree, but Austin kicked out! Austin stood up and received a chair to the head. HHH tried for another Pedigree, but Austin slingshotted him into the cage. He hit the Stunner, but Triple H kicked out! Austin grabbed the barbed wire 2x4 and HHH grabbed the sledgehammer. They both charged and hit each other at the same time, knocking each other out. As they fell, HHH landed on top of Austin and the ref made the three count. Damn. What a match. Nothing bad to say about it, really. All played their parts extremely well.
Rating: Spectacular~!
After some jawjacking by Steven, Lawler hit him three times, which sent him running. He came back in and got beat up some more by Lawler. To make a long story short, The Kat came in to nail Richards with the Women's Title, but ended up hitting Lawler, allowing Steven to get the pin. Short, pointless match that never amounted to anything.
Rating: Craptacular
E & C hesitated at getting in the ring with UT & Kane. However, the entrance of the Dudley Boyz forced them to make a decision, so they hopped off the ramp and let the other two teams fight. With the Dudleys getting dominated, Edge and Christian tried to sneak up from behind, but got beat up by the Brothers. The Dudleys came back with dual chair shots to the heads of UT and Kane, who were about to go for a simultaneous Last Ride on Edge and Christian through the table. They took Edge and Christian into the ring where the challengers regained control and put Buh-Buh in the tree of woe and stood on his groin. D-von tried to intervene, but was flapjacked. They went for the Conchairto on Buh-Buh, but he ducked and sent Edge into Christian with a slingshot chair-first. Edge then received the "Wazzup!" Owchie Move and D-von's Tatanka War Dance. Buh-Buh notified D-von to produce the dining instruments, but Taker and Kane took him out. Christian hit the Unprettier on Buh-Buh, and Taker and Kane came in to brawl with the Blondes. Tables are slid in, and the Dudleys rejoined the fray. Taker and Kane hit simultaneous chokeslams on Edge and Christian and then on the Dudleys. They set up the tables, but Rikishi and The Superfro ran in. They punched their way back up the ramp, leaving the other two teams. Edge set Buh-Buh up on a table in a corner and went for the Spear, but Buh-Buh moved and Edge ate the table head-first, but it didn't break. They quickly 3Ded Christian through the other table to retain the titles. This was not good. Very boring, though it had its moments. I'll be generous.
Rating: Decent
Angle tried to be sneaky and hit Rock with the belt right away, but Dwayne wasn't having none of that. After some brief offense, Kurt backed him into the corner, only to have him charge out right into the ankle lock. Rock made it to the ropes. Angle hit a belly-to-belly suplex, but Rock fired back with his hip-belly-to-belly-toss suplex. Rock hit a flying forearm and locked in his crappy sharpshooter, but Angle made it to the ropes. He got back up, only to receive a Samoan drop. Angle came back with a back suplex and went to the top rope. Rock hit a superplex for a two count. He Irish whipped Angle, but he reversed and threw Rock out of the ring. Angle brought him back in, but Rock managed a DDT. All of a sudden, The Big Show's music played. After about four hours of Big Show trying to get into the ring, he chokeslammed the ref, Angle AND Rock. Then he left. Exactly what point was that run-in supposed to serve? Tim White and Earl Hebner came out to help the poor ref while Angle managed to cover Rock. Hebner finally noticed and got in to make the count, but Rock kicked out. Hebner rolled out again, and Rock nailed Angle with the title belt. Hebner came back in for another two count. Angle managed another ankle lock, and Rock was dragged to the center of the ring before he finally made it to the ropes. After working on the knee for awhile, Angle was caught with the spinebuster and The People's Elbow. However, Angle kicked out. Angle hit a low blow then removed the top turnbuckle padding. He whipped The Rock into it and hit The Olympic Slam for a two count! Angle went nuts, but Rock managed to whip him into the exposed turnbuckle and hit The Rock Bottom. One… two… Angle kicked out? It didn't look like he even moved, but Hebner said he did so Rock gets him up for another Rock Bottom and got the win, becoming the first ever six-time champion. Enjoyable match, but lost points for the stupid Big Show run-in and the screw-up at the end.
Rating: Good
The Closing Punctuation Mark: This PPV had a little bit of everything, with two Spectacular matches, two Craptacular matches and some other good stuff in between. After a pretty awful Survivor Series and Armageddon, the WWF has delivered with two good PPVs in a row. I absolutely must reiterate that Big Show is utterly useless and that it's kind of sad that the last good use of him was when he was a launching pad for Jeff Hardy's Swanton Bomb. Triple H going over was a big surprise, considering it was more logical for Austin to go over, but it worked. Until next time, DON'T SUCCUMB TO A HORRIBLE DEATH!