Operation: Nutter Storm- Part Three

(Huh is walking around backstage, unaware that he is near the entrance ramp. After a few minutes, Val Venis struts into the area, in his wrestling trunks)

Val: (to Huh) There you are!

Huh: (turning around) Huh?

Val: You’ve got some nerve disappearing like that right before our match, Brian.

Huh: Brian? Wait a minute... aren’t you Val Venis?

Val: (sighs) This game is getting old, Bri. Can’t you come up with an original joke?

Huh: (finally realizing that Val thinks he is Brian Heffron, the Blue Meanie) Sorry... Sean.

Val: Now get out there, we have a match! (He shoves Huh through the curtain and into the arena)

Announcer: Introducing first, from Pepperland, weighing 292 lbs., The Blue Meanie! (crowd pops)

(Huh stares in dread at the capacity crowd before him, and nervously begins the Meanie Dance. When he gets some cheers, he relaxes and walks down to the ring.)

Huh: You like me! You really like me!

(The Meanie’s music stops, and Val’s music starts to play)

Announcer: And his opponent, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing 240 lbs., Val Venis!

(Val does his usual strut down to the ring, and gets on the stick)

Val: Hello, ladies! (the ladies in the crowd cheer) You know something, the Big Valbowski is a lot like The Blue Meanie, heh heh heh... (indicates Huh) You know, they’re both rather large, and they can do their patented dance all night long!

Huh: (laughs) That was pretty funny, Sean...

(The bell rings and Val smacks him in the face)

Huh: (holds his face) Ow!

(Val does some worked forearms, but Huh just stands there)

Val: (whispers) Psst... sell my moves, dammit... you’re not the ECW World Heavyweight Champion... hell, you’re not even in ECW anymore!

(Val unloads with a couple more shots and Huh has a late reaction to each and everyone of them.)

Val: (sighs) I see it’s going to be one of THOSE nights...

(Val backs him into a corner and rams his shoulder repeatedly into Huh’s midsection. After a few shots, Huh gags and lets loose with a cascade of phlegm on Val’s back.)

Val: Eww! What the hell was that?

Huh: Uh... my dinner?

Val: You’re getting hurt for that one. (He whips Huh across the ring. Huh slams into the turnbuckles and gets clotheslined from behind by Val.)

(Huh turns around and belches right in Val’s face.)

Val: (shudders) Okay, I’m not going to do this any longer. I’m ending this match.

Huh: Huh?

Val: Lay down! (He kicks Huh’s feet out from under him and Huh sprawls on his back)

Huh: (seeing little birdies fly around his head) Uhh...

(Val climbs the top rope, does a bump and grind, and give Huh the Money Shot. Huh never sees it coming and screams as Val crashes down on top of him. The ref counts to three and calls for the bell.)

Announcer: And here is your winner, Val Venis!

(Huh rolls out of the ring and limps his way to the back. When he gets there, he’s spotted by WWF SecurityGuy™ Jim Dotson.)

Jim: (points to Huh) You! You’re the guy who’s been running around imitating Brian!

Huh: Huh?

Val: (just coming through the curtain) You mean I was wrestling an imposter!?

Jim: (grabs Huh by the arm) Okay, buddy, let’s go. (He takes him to the nearest exit and throws him out onto the street. Huh’s fall is cushioned by his fat ass.)

(Croooooow and Jay walk over to Huh, who’s laying on his back again)

Jay: They got you too, Huh?

Huh: Yeah. Help me up, guys! (Holds his arms out)

(Croooooow and Jay each grab an arm and brace themselves)

Both: 1...2...3...HEAVE! (They lift Huh to his feet after a great amount of exertion)

To Part Four

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