Although not as horrendously bad as Unforgiven, this PPV had its share of crap. You see, well... ah, just read.
This is definitely not the match I expected to steal the show. Chyna was accompanied by Miss Gabrielle. I've noticed that as Chyna wrestles better workers, her matches improve. Since I've got to crank out another report after this, I won't go into too much detail. Near the end, Jericho blocked a hurricanrana into the Walls of Jericho, but Chyna reached the ropes. Chyna gave Jericho the Pedigree, but he kicked out. Jericho went up top, but was low blowed. Chyna then gave him a Pedigree (!) from the top rope! Chyna with the three count.
Rating: ***
Great action from both sides, though nothing that memorable. Edge was the first eliminated, by a roll up from Hardcore. Grand Masta Sexay hit the 'Hood Jam (so what if it's not the move's real name?) on Matt Hardy and eliminated him. Things turned around when the Hollys started fighting over who was going to dismantle Jeff. Jeff, meanwhile, hit a 450 Splash on Scotty Too Hotty, eliminating him. However, he was eliminated by Grand Masta Sexay soon after. Christian hit his falling reverse DDT on GMS and eliminated him. The Hollys double teamed Christian, but he was able to eliminate Crash. Hardcore then fell through a victory roll attempt and pinned Christian.
Rating: **3/4
Not a bad match, actually. Don't believe the 'boring' chants and boos being piped in. Those were for the benefit of the angle. The crowd was actually popping pretty good for some of the spots. After getting a two count from a snap suplex, Angle exited the ring and told the people that "You don't boo an Olympic gold medalist!" Shawn Stasiak eventually missed a cross body block, allowing Kurt Angle to put him into a reverse fallaway slam/neckbreaker kind of move for the win.
Rating: **1/2
Kane was attacked during his pyro, and was martial artsed to the ground. However, Kane went up top, but was stopped by X-pac, who dropkicked him to the outside. After a few minutes, Kane hit a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker, and a clothesline from the top. He hit the Chokeslam, but Bow-wow-wow yippeo-yippiay made the save. X-pac hit the X-Factor, but Kane kicked out! Kane set up X-pac for the Tombstone, but in came H Cube and nailed Kane with the WWF belt. In came Mr. Ass, and we had a fun little beatdown. Tori came out to stop it, but when she tried pulling X-pac off, he hit her with a spinning heel kick. Sheriff Kane then ran the DX posse out of town and checked on the little lady.
Rating: **1/4
The Godfather's team entered all dressed as pimps, which was good for a cheap laugh. The 'Bangers even had huge afros on. The action was typical Survivor Series, with many tags being made. Bradshaw took out Thrasher with the Clothesline from Hell. The 'Bangers hit The Stage Dive on Bradshaw, but The Dudleys countered with 3D and eliminated Mosh. Bradshaw was so angry he picked up a chair and dismantled Bubbalicious and D'lo, DQing him. Faarooq, Faarooq, Faarooq is on Fire and D-von argued over who would pin D'lo. They came to blows, and fought to the back. Buh-Buh Ray hit his top rope powerbomb on D'lo but only got two. Godfather was tagged in and did that stupid Ho Train move on Buh Buh, and hit the Pimp Drop. D'lo hit the 'Lo Down and won the match.
Rating: **
The Big Show was a replacement for The Beer Elemental (Austin), who was hit by a car driven by...... um.... the guy who raised the briefcase, blew up the camera in the face of Hogan, and pushed Mankind off the top of the boiler room. The Rock and HHH teamed up on the Show most of the early part of the match, and even gave him a double suplex through the.... Oh, my God! They killed the Spanish announcing table! You bastards! Back in the ring, The Rock accidentally clotheslined the ref. He hit the Rock Bottom on HHH, and Shane McMannequin ran in to make the two count. The Rock hit it again, but Show pulled McMahon out of the ring. HHH went for the belt, but Shane stopped him. HHH dropped Shane with the Pedigree. At that point, DX ran in to beat on Show and Rock. Heeeeere's Vince! The Big Show disposed of Billy Gunn, as McMahon swung at HHH with the belt. He missed, but swung again and laid him out. Big Show covered HHH, and we have a new champion! Noooooooooooooooooooooo! Jim Ross caught Lilian Garcia-ism and said that this was the most emotional week of the Big Show's night.
Rating: *3/4
WTF??? Wasn't Venis just feuding with Blackman a month ago? Isn't Henry a fan favorite after being splashed by F'N Mabel? Since when is Gangrel feuding with the Bulldog and the Mean Street Posse? Since when are any of them feuding with the Bulldog and the Mean Street Posse? It came down to Venis and Henry vs. The Bulldog. Henry splashed the bulldog, allowing Venis to hit the Money Shot for the win. Looking into my booking crystal ball, I see a Venis/Henry partnership, as Val asks him if he ever thought of putting his sexual obsession to good use... in the porn industry!
Rating: *3/4
Same old story. The Outlaws eventually won with a spike piledriver.
Rating: *1/2
Yes! Slow and almost painless! The Big Show eliminated all of his partners on Heat, basically stomping them and throwing them on the floor a lot (Hey, you try lifting the Blue Meanie off his feet). He took on all four men by himself. Mideon went down with a chokeslam. Ditto for Mabel. Ditto for Albert. The Bossman was the smart one (Oh boy, you knew that team wasn't going to work) and hightailed it, giving the Big Show the win.
Rating: *1/4
No, you call it. I dare you. It was one fall to a finish (thank God), and Ivory was somehow pinned by Moolah. Even the post match catfight between Terri and Debra sucked.
"Mae has just mounted Ivory!" --Jim Ross (thanks for the visual)
Rating: *
Overall PPV Rating: **1/4
I would have liked more build up to the Survivor Series matches so that they could have actually meant something, but hey, it's the WWF, you just have to take what you can get. Credit Croooooow's brother for Steve Austin's new name (The Beer Elemental).