Ace: "If I'm not back in five minutes...just wait longer!"
Ace: yeah and your ugly.
Ace: so you can beat him fatty.
Ace:why dont you go cry about saddlebags.
Melissa: do you want an ash-tray for that?
Ace: no. I dont smoke, its a disgusting habbit.
Ace: Do you know him? do you call him at home
Lois: "You must really love animals".
Ace: "Only when it's really cold"
Lois Einhorn: I can make your life a living hell
Ace Venturas: I'm not ready for a relationship right now lois.
Melissa: "Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson."
Ace: "Pleasure to meet you."
Melissa: "Did you have any trouble getting in?"
Ace: "No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle."
Ace: "I have a package for you, sir."
Man: "Sounds broken."
Ace: "Most likely; I bet it was something nice, though!"
(Ace Ventura just got his car started)
Ace: "It's ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!"
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