The Riddler: Joygasm!
Dr. Chase Meridian: Hot entrance!
[Two-Face decides a victim's fate with a coin toss]
Two-Face: Ah. Fortune smiles. Another day of wine and roses. Or, in your case, beer and pizza!
Two-Face: One man is born a hero, his brother a coward. Babies starve, politicians grow fat. Holy men are martyred, anchovies grow legion. Why? Why why why why why? Luck! Blind stupid simple doo-dah clueless luck!
The Riddler: Now who in the right mind has bats on the brain?
The Riddler: Riddle me this, and riddle me that: who is afraid of the big, black bat?
Batman: Commissioner Gordon?
Dr. Chase Meridian: He's at home. I sent the signal.
Batman: What's wrong?
Dr. Chase Meridian: Last night, at the bank, I noticed something about Two-Face. His coin. It's his Achilles' heel. It can be exploited.
Batman: I know. You called me here for this? The Batsignal is not a beeper.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Well I wish I could say that my interest in you was... purely professional.
Batman: You trying to get under my cape, doctor?
Dr. Chase Meridian: A girl can't live by psychoses alone.
Batman: It's the car, right? Chicks love the car.
Dr. Chase Meridian: What is it about the wrong kind of man? In grade school it was guys with earrings. College, motorcycles, leather jackets. Now, *oh*, black rubber.
Batman: Try firemen, less to take off.
Dr. Chase Meridian: I don't mind the work. Pity I can't see behind the mask.
Batman: We all wear masks.
Dr. Chase Meridian: My life's an open book. You read?
Batman: I don't blend in at a family picnic.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Oh, we could give it a try. I'll bring the wine, you bring your scarred psyche.
Batman: Direct aren't you?
Dr. Chase Meridian: You like strong women. I've done my homework. Or do I need skin-tight vinyl and a whip?
Batman: I haven't had that much luck with women.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Maybe you just haven't met the right woman.
Dick Grayson: I need a name! Batboy, Nightwing, I dunno. What's a good sidekick name?
Bruce Wayne: How about Dick Grayson, college student?
Dick Grayson: Screw you!
Alfred Pennyworth: I'm sorry to bother you, sir. But I have some rather distressing news about Master Dick.
Bruce Wayne: What? Is he alright?
Alfred Pennyworth: I'm afraid Master Dick has, uhm, gone traveling.
Bruce Wayne: He ran away?
Alfred Pennyworth: Actually, he took the car.
Bruce Wayne: He boosted the Jag?
Alfred Pennyworth: No, sir. Not the Jaguar. The other car.
Bruce Wayne: The Bentley?
Alfred Pennyworth: No, sir! The *other car*.
Alfred Pennyworth: Can I persuade you to take a sandwich with you, sir?
Batman: I'll get drive-thru.
The Riddler: For if knowledge is power, then a GOD AM *I*! [pauses] Was that over the top? I can never tell.
The Riddler: You should have let me in on this. We could have planned it, prepared it, pre-sold the movie rights!
[upon reaching Claw Island]
Robin: Holey rusted metal, Batman!
Batman: Huh?
Robin: The ground, it's all metal. It's full of holes. You know, holey.
Batman: Oh.
Dick Grayson: All I can think about every second of the day is getting Two-Face. He took my whole life. And when I was out there tonight, I imagined it was him that I was fighting, even when I was fighting you. And all the pain went away. Do you understand?
Bruce Wayne: Yes, I do.
Dick Grayson: Good, cause you gotta help me find him. And when we do, I'm the one who kills him.
Bruce Wayne: So, you're willing to take a life.
Dick Grayson: Long as it's Two-Face.
Bruce Wayne: Then it will happen this way: You make the kill, but your pain doesn't die with Harvey, it grows. So you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life. And you won't know why.
Dick Grayson: You can't understand. Your family wasn't killed by a maniac.
Bruce Wayne: Yes, they were. We're the same.
Batman: I read your work. Insightful. Naive, but insightful.
Dr. Chase Meridian: I'm flattered. Not every girl makes a superhero's night table.
Dr. Chase Meridian: He'll slaughter them without thinking twice.
Batman: Agreed. A trauma powerful enough to create an alternate personality leaves the victim --
Dr. Chase Meridian: -- in a world where normal rules of right and wrong no longer apply.
Batman: Exactly.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Like you. -- Well, let's just say that I could write a hell of a paper on a grown man who dresses like a flying rodent.
Batman: Bats aren't rodents, Dr. Meridian.
Dr. Chase Meridian: By the way, do you have a first name, or do I just call you Bat?
Bruce Wayne: Perhaps letters of the alphabet.
Alfred Pennyworth: Of course, 13 is M.
Bruce Wayne: 1 would be A, 8 would be H, and 5 would be E.
Alfred Pennyworth: M-A-H-E?
Bruce Wayne: Perhaps 1 and 8 are 18.
Alfred Pennyworth: 18... is... R. M-R-E.
Bruce Wayne: How about "Mr. E"?
Alfred Pennyworth: Mystery.
Bruce Wayne: And another name for mystery?
Alfred Pennyworth: Enigma!
Bruce Wayne: Mr. E. Nygma. Edward Nygma. Stickley's suicide was obviously a computer-generated forgery.
Alfred Pennyworth: You really are quite bright, despite what people say.
The Riddler: Tell the fat lady she's on in five.
Two-Face: You have broken into our hideout. You have violated the sanctity of our lair. For this we should crush your bones into POWDER. However, you do pose a very interesting proposition: therefore, heads, we accept, and tails, we blow your damned head off!
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