Can't Hardly Wait

Kenny Fisher: That is a "Fragance of Love" scented candle, bitch. Denise: Besides, I heard that song was about his dog. Preston: It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda? Denise: My cousin had a dog name Samantha. Preston: Shut up about the dog, OK?! Denise: There's a mirror right there. Take a look, you're white. Stoner Guy: You know who else I like that didn't get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady. Mike: I'll kick everyone's ass in this room! Mike: I'm a loser. I broke up with the hottest girl in school, my friends all sold me out... and somebody in there just called me a fag! Denise: Looks like someone's auditioning for "Soul Train." Preston: Now, I'm sitting in class enjoying a late breakfast when out of all the classrooms in the school, she walks into mine! And where does the teacher sit her? Right next to me! Up until now, one could write this off to coincidence. But then she reaches in her bag and pulls out a strawberry Pop-Tart---the very same breakfast pastry I was consuming at that moment! What was I to do? How was I to proceed? Denise: Fate works in really fucked up ways sometimes. Preston: Especially in your case. Exchange student: Would you like to touch my penis? I am a sex machine! [Holding up a card.] William: I downloaded this little baby off the Net. I will know exactly how many spirits I may imbibe without affecting my judgement or my behavior. Kenny Fisher: Why y'all gotta waste my flava! Kenny Fisher: Yo, I gotsta have sex tonight! Angel: There is fate, but it only takes you so far, because once you're there its up to you to make it happen. Angel: There is fate, but it's up to you to make it happen. William Lichter: Tonight, Mike Dexter will know humiliation. Tonight Mike Dexter will know ridicule. Tonight is the night we fight back. Tonight is our independence night. William Lichter: Well, you know what they say about women and trolley cars. There's alot more of them in the sea. Mike Dexter: The future, bro, is women. Kenny Fisher: It say here ninety-two percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. Ninety-two of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, "Class... or sex? What shall I do?" Ninety-two percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means. Kenny's friend: What? Kenny Fisher: It means I gots a ninety-two percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa" cuz I don't yo. Preston: I don't know about you, but I really believe that there's one person out there, and for me it's gotta be Amanda. Earth Girl: Maybe it's because she's a little busy ordering around her little conformist flock of sheep. SHEEP! You are all sheep. Baah! [Drunk] William Lichter: You... have to come with me. There's this chick... there's these two chicks... they're triplets, man! Kenny Fisher: 'Sup, ladies? Yo Jana, wanna dance? Jana: I'm allergic. Kenny Fisher: You're allergic to dancing? Jana: Yeah. Kenny Fisher: Tonight is the night that Kenny Fisher becomes... da man. ~ Home ~ Movies ~ Songs ~ Anonymous ~ Women ~ ~ Friendship ~ Life and Success ~ Poems ~ Shakespeare ~ Star Trek ~