Dr. Emil Reingold: Mickey and Mallory know the difference between right and wrong; they just don't give a damn.
Mallory: I do. 'Til you and I die, and die, and die again. 'Til death do us part.
Wayne Gale: I thought a bond developed betwen us!
Wayne Gale: Their subsequent trial turned into a sick, pathetic circus. The trial of Mickey and Mallory Knox was SUCH an event, that it made the crime spree that preceded it pale by comparison. The nation caught Mickey and Mallory fire!
Mallory: I don't think I'm gonna make it. I feel so cold.
Mickey: Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."
Mickey: The media is like the weather, only it's man-made weather.
Mickey: Turn left? Turn left to what you stupid bitch?
[Bleeding together over a river.]
Mallory: You make every day feel like kindergarten.
[After beating the hell out of the guy at the diner.]
[After shooting a man she'd been having sex with]
Mickey: Let me tell you something, this is the 1990's, alright? In this day and age a man has to have choices, a man has to have a little bit of variety.
[after sending Mallory to her room]
Mallory: You made my shitlist!
Son: What the hell is that?
Mickey: Well, let's give that key lime pie a day in court, and a big old glass of non-fat milk, if you please.
Mickey: The whole world's comin' to an end, Mal!
Wayne Gale: Repetition works, David. Repetition works, David.
[On a TV interview]
Reporter: Do you have anything to say to your fans?
Mickey: We're not killing anybody on our wedding day.
Warden: Love makes the world go round, heh heh heh.
Mickey: I realized my true calling in life. Wayne Gale: What's that? Mickey: Shit, man, I'm a natural born killer.
Scagnetti: I was born and spent the first part of my life in Texas.
Napalatoni: Warden!
Dwight McClusky: Just how far do you think you're gonna get?!
Old Indian: Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, "Why have you done this to me?" And the snake answered, "Look, bitch, you knew I was a snake."
Mickey: It's fate, you know. Nobody can stop fate, nobody can.
Mickey: Right now I'd go down on a lawman for a gallon of gas.
Mickey: It's just murder. All God's creatures do it. You look in the forests and you see species killing other species, our species killing all species including the forests, and we just call it industry, not murder.
Scagnetti: Oswald might've been a pussy, but he was a great shot.
Dwight McClusky: I'm surprised Hollywood ain't caught up with you yet, your story'd make a much better movie than that Serpico shit.
Dwight McClusky: Mickey & Mallory Knox are without a doubt the most twisted depraved pair of shitfucks it has ever been my displeasure to lay my god damn eyes on. I tell you these two motherfuckers are a walking reminder of just how fucked up this system really is.
Mickey: At birth, I was cast into a flaming pit of scum forgotten by God.
Ed Wilson: I eat what I want! So what! I mean, with this fucking food here, you pray *after* eating!
Ed Wilson: Don't think! You're a fucking idiot! Who am I now, the bad guy? Did I ask you to fuck my friends?
Mallory's Dad: If it wasn't for me, you'd still be slingin' hash in that shithouse and fuckin' your boss.
Mickey: Uh, aloha? Chief? Yeah, uh...rattlesnake took a chunk outta us a few miles back...me and my wife are pretty sick - could be dyin,' you never can tell about these things, so...how's about you ungluein' your fat ass from that boob tube and gettin' us some snakebite juice. Pronto.
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