DATA

Riker: Do you consider yourself superior to us?
Data: I am superior, Sir, in many ways. But I would gladly give it up to be human.
Riker: Nice to meet you - Pinocchio.

~Encounter at Farpoint

Data: Indications of what humans would call a wild party...?

~The Naked Now

Data: If you prick me, do I not... leak?

~The Naked Now

Data: Would you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intruiging.

~Haven

Data: The purpose of this gathering eludes me, Sir. My thoughts are not for Tasha, but for myself. I am thinking of how empty it will be without her. Have I missed the point?
Picard: No, Data, you got it.

~Skin of Evil

Data: Her name is Claire Raymond, 35, occupation homemaker. Must be some kind of construction work.

~The Neutral Zone

Data: I have a question, Sir.
Picard: Yes, Data?
Data: What is death?
Picard: Oh, is that all?

~Where Silence has Lease

Data, scanning Pulaski with a tricorder: All systems are functioning within normal parameters.
Pulaski: The manufacturer will be pleased to hear it.

~Unnatural Selection

Q: Who does he think he is, giving you orders?
Data: Geordi thinks he is in command here, and he is correct.

~Deja Q

Guinan: It's not good to advise people about their first love affairs. That's kind of something they have to figure out themselves.
Data: But I am not capable of love.
Guinan: Then it's going to be a very interesting experience.

~In Theory

Jenna: You didn't talk to the entire ship about us?
Data: No. In actuality, less than one percent of the entire crew was involved.

~In Theory

Jenna: So, I'm, I'm just a new variable in one of your new computational environments.
Data: You are much more than that, Jenna. I have written a program specifically for you - a program within a program. I have devoted a considerable share of my internal resources to its development.
Jenna: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

~In Theory

Jenna: Um, Data?
Data: Yes?
Jenna: The book of love, chapter four, paragraph 17. When your girlfriend arrives with a gift, stop whatever it is you're doing and give her your undivided attention.
Data: I should not have resumed painting?
Jenna: No.
Data: Despite your suggestion that I continue?
Jenna: Exactly.
Data: I have much to learn.

~In Theory

Data: Honey? I'm home!

~In Theory

Data: Darling, you remain as aesthetically pleasing as the first day we met. I believe I am the most fortunate sentient in this sector of the galaxy.

~In Theory

Data: I could organize your closets for you. I have found that by grouping apparel first by function, then by colour from light to dark, one can more easily find one's desired choice.

~In Theory

Jenna: What were you just thinking?
Data: In that particular moment, I was reconfiguring the warp field parameters, analyzing the collected works of Charles Dickens, calculating the maximum pressure I could safely apply to your lips, considering a new food supplement for Spot...
Jenna: I'm glad I was in there somewhere.

~In Theory

Data: Jenna, are we no longer "a couple"?
Jenna: No, we're not.
Data: Then I will delete the appropriate program.

~In Theory

Riker: Mr O'Brien said that the weapon was in a state of discharge.
Data: Perhaps something occurred during transport, Commander.

~The Most Toys

Data: Pardon me, but why is Lieutenant Barclay being referred to clandestinely as a vegetable?

~Hollow Pursuits

Dr Soong, on Data: I always loved that face.

~Brothers

Data: I am not less perfect than Lore.
Lore (mimicking): "I am not leth perfethc than Lore!"

~Maybe you need to hear it, Brothers

Data on being electrocuted: A remarkable experience, Sir.

~Disaster

Data: Commander, you jest sit tight. We'll have this fixed up in time fer supper.

~A Fistful of Datas

Data: Yes! I hate this! It is revolting!!
Guinan: More?
Data: Please.

~Generations

Ode to Spot from Schisms
Felis Cattus, is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped carnivorous by nature?
Your visual, olfactory and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills, and natural defenses.
I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur, to demonstrate affection.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
And when not being utilized to aide in locomotion,
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
O Spot, the complex levels of behaviour you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

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