LWAXANA

Troi: I should warn you, Sir, my mother is a little ... eccentric.

~Haven

Lwaxana: After the young couple have removed their clothing -
Tasha: You mean the bride and groom go naked?
Lwaxana: All guests must go unclothed. It honours the act of love being celebrated. (To Mrs Miller) Oh you needn't worry too much, dear, your body's not that bad. Your husband quite likes the idea of seeing me unclothed.

~Haven

Troi: Mother, don't you think it would be a good idea if you actually met the man you're going to marry before committing to spend the rest of your life with him?
Lwaxana: Deanna, I love you but you do make everything sound like an epitaph.

~Cost of Living

Picard: Permission for an onboard wedding is granted. Nothing would please me more than to give away Mrs Troi.

~Cost of Living

Lwaxana: Making little boys reasonable only gives them pimples!

~Cost of Living

Sonorous-voiced guy: HOLD! What is the lesson for today?
Lwaxana: Oh, damned if we know, we're just here for some fun and a mudbath.
SVG: Every moment requires a purpose.
Lwaxana to Alexander: No it doesn't!
SVG: Every purpose requires a moment!
Juggler: He does this every day, usually while everyone's food is getting cold. It's rather boring.
SVG: The hiiiigheeerrrr ... the feeewwwweeeerrrr...
Lwaxana: Well, that's a conversation-stopper if I ever heard one!

~Cost of Living

Lwaxana: The great secret is not the variety of life, it's the variety of us.

~Cost of Living

Alexander: Are you very old?
Lwaxana, after a long pause: I'm alone, Alex. And when you do get older, and you can no longer pick and choose from whatever may come your way, then you do what we call compromise. It keeps you from being afraid.

~Cost of Living

Lwaxana to Troi: You poor dear! Don't they ever let you change those colourless uniforms?

~Cost of Living

Troi: We still have to learn how to live in the real world, mother, all of us.
Lwaxana: She's absolutely right, Alexander, but only when necessary.

~Cost of Living

Odo: Every sixteenth hour, I turn into a liquid!
Lwaxana: I can swim.

~The Forsaken

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