Hainault, via Nobody Park...(June 2000)

Charleroi, 1999-2000

Eight months. I have been here eight months. Eight sodding bleeding bloody months. So I think I can comment on the place.
It's not that I don't like it. It's like a friend I feel I have known for ages and only hang around with because it will give me a game of pool every now and then, or get the drinks in. I don't hate it. But I am not sure how much i will really miss it here, when I leave after the ninth month.
Maybe I wont. Maybe I will. Maybe nine months is the perfect gestation period - when I leave, a new man will be born in me, borne of the experiences I've had here. In Charleroi? Oh ye of little green spaces? The town of a thousand drunk drivers?

The first month

It was sunny. It was new. It still looked like an oppressive dungeon surrounded by poisonous factories but it didn't feel uncomfortable, like France can. And the people, albeit subject to the worst unemployment and poverty in the land, were nonetheless friendly enough. I would go out to Brussels a lot, being just down the road. My French was awful, I felt like Manuel out of Fawlty Towers. But it weren't so bad. I discovered all the said nightspots (see the commentary). I would still be going out with my two friends Monsieur Rock and Madame Roll.

The Long Cold Lonely Winter

The rains soon drowned any hope of a good time. Being the only Anglophone in town, I tried to mingle but found without my mother tongue I had lost my greatest asset - my crap Noel Edmondsesque sense of humour. Telling jokes in French to impatient revellers takes about seven years to do, for me, so I gave up. The place was getting me down too, going to the same places for ever, getting drenched on a regular basis, never having warm water at the Vigie. I moved out, to a studio, but stayed only one night. I woke up and realised what I had up to then overlooked - the place had no windows. Hot shower? Yes. Windows? 95 or 3.0? Bugger. Going home for Christmas on the 24th was well looked forward to. Coming back, January just made it worse. I travelled extensively about Belgium, and popped over to Germany, but it didn't do much good. I found an affinity with Charleroi in that the whole country kicks it and laughs at it, its reputation being, well, if it was in the Eurovision song contest, it would be a regular for the Nul Points category. But the affinity didn't last long, because I hated the place. Getting fined on the tram after coming back from London one day was the final straw - then they let me off, and the sun came out...

Spring is Sprung, Summer is a-coming in

I went home for Easter, and then on my return it got hot. And the tiny Parc Reine Astrid suddenly opened itself up as a place of going out. Where before it was simply a mud hole in which muggers hung out in Kappa tops with their young girlfriends who look like they have shares in Estée Lauder, it suddenly became a place where one could pleasantly sit beneath a tree and read away for hours. Life became good. After I bumped into Kevin Keegan, and the Irish pub opened up, Charleroi began slowly to lift its head from the ditch. The sun revealed architecture you never knew was there. And the council began to clear up the Charleroi Footprints - you know what that is. All in preparation for Euro 2000, the football tournament that will put this town on the map.

They think it`s all over...it hasn`t even started

And now, Euro 2000 will soon begin. Charleroi and it's stade have not been out of the English newspapers, this 'sleepy Belgian town, population 50,000' as the Mirror puts it. I mean, try sleeping HERE!!! It's the third biggest 'town' in the country, Piers, and what about the other 300,000 who live here, hmmm?
England vs Germany will be the real test. Charleroi, the violence capital; if it passes with flying neutral colours, then the transformation will be complete, and it will be the Euro town it has dreamed of becoming since the Collapse of the industries. I've seen the change here. I'll be happy for it to continue.
So you see, this year has not been too bad, for either of us. I'll See You On The Other Side.

June 2000

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