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First off, the article mentions "..flogged merchandise (bedspreads, haltertops)..." One question...are they talking bout BrAtney? Cuz I hope to GOD that they are not talkin' 'bout N Sync. I would laugh sooooo damn hard if they had *N Sync halter tops. The world is going to hell in a hand basket if they have halter tops. Sorry...I just had an image of Joey trying to model one. Lol. It wasn't a pretty picture, I can tell ya that!
The article mentions Pearlman and Wright as "twin puppeteers". Which...if I were the guys, I would be just a tad offended by that comment. If Lou and Johnny are the puppeteers, then our boys are the silly puppets. Well, I did always think Chris looked like a muppet baby. Skeeter...or was it Scooter. Oh shit, I can never remember.
"Roche looks at Timberlake and offers his own review: 'I see panties flying!' If past performance is any indication, stock in Hanes is about to go through the roof." This is where I started getting a little annoyed. I mean PUHLEEZE...even if he did say that, do ya have to put it in the magazine? Number one it makes him look sleazy for saying it. Number two...it makes all the fans look like underwear flinging freaks. Sheesh people.
Descriptions of the guys: Timberlake (the looks), Chris Kirkpatrick, 27 (the braids), JC Chasez, 22 (the energy), Lance Bass, 19 (the manners), and Joey Fatone, 22 (the goatee). ALRIGHT!! My man is not just a piece of meat. *sigh* When will they look past his handsome face and realize that he has talent too?!? J/k. But seriously...Justin is "the looks"...so what are the other guys? Chopped liver!?! Jc's the energy? Um...no. Have they MET JC? If I recall, his favorite hobby is sleeping. Wowee...that sure takes up soooooo much energy. Lancey is the manners of course. Those good Mississippi roots really helped him out there huh? Oh wait--sorry I ruined it for you--you probably didn't know that Lance is from Mississippi. Lol. Joey and Chris are known for their various HAIR. Weird. Maybe they didn't want to put "Chris Kirkpatrick 27, (the old crazy one who shouldn't be best friends with someone a decade younger than him), and Joey Fatone, 22 (NSYNC's official PIMP DADDY!). J/k...I love all the guys. It's just too much fun to laugh at them.
"The panty problem is no joke. 'We have fans who know my underwear size,' Timberlake says, 'People come with signs that say "JC DROP YOUR PANTS!" That's funny to us'." Ok...correct me if I am wrong, but they are talking about a PANTY PROBLEM not being a joke. Then Justy-Just goes off on some tangent about fans and their (the guys') underwear. Whoa...back it up a sec. I never knew you guys wore "panties"...well, with the exception of Lancette. Also, this statement makes us all look like a bunch of underwear obsessed freaks. Who on God's green earth would want JC to drop his pants? Like I wanna see his skinny (probably veiny...*shudder*) a**!! Ewww...now I am gonna have nightmares. (Sorry Val...I had to say it)
"(A curious addition to Pearlman's G-rated teenportfolio is his stake in the Chippendales chain of male strip joints)" HAHAHAHA, Val was right...Justin is going to be a Chippendales stripper for real! He's already got the hookup--Lou Pearlman. And you wondered why he always seems to want to take his shirt off--well that's why! He is trying to impress Lou, so he can be a Chippendales man when *N Sync goes down the tubes. Lol!!!
"...*N Sync as another boyband cash cow.." Oh...just how I love to describe the boys--as cash cows. That would piss me off just a tad if I were the guys. I would not like to be viewed as a cash cow, would you? Actually...what is a cash cow? Is it like a money tree? Or something different? I am lost...j/k.
"We're very trusting. If you give us the shirt off your back, we're gonna give you the shirts off our backs--plus our pants." --Chris Ok...remind me to give them the shirt off my back next time I see them. And boys...take note...cuz I expect you to make good on your word. I want the shirt...AND the pants baby! Wowee.
"Even *N Sync's Kirkpatrick questions Big Papa's recent agressive credit-mongering: 'Lou said, "I'll put money behind you." Now somehow this has turned into "He started us." You can take it however you want, but I started the group'." Go Chris...get pissed! I would too though, hell...rebel against Lou!! Do it! Do it! *peer pressure* --Hell, the BSB did it, I say you can do it too. Lol.
"8 year old girls in the stores portend well for our futures."--John Grandoni (VP of purchasing for National Record Mart). Yeah, that's all that buys *N Sync's albums--8 year olds. They make it sound like the only audiences that *N Sync appeals to is underwear throwing, psychotic people who wanna see pants dropping from a skinny 22 year old, and just all happen to be 8 years old. Wow, that really makes them psycho then!! UGghhh, this article just ticks me off. It makes the fans look RETARDED!! How annoying is that?!
"..young moneybags.." Like we don't know the boys have a ton-o-cash. BUT...do you really have to describe them as "young moneybags"? That word...moneybags, makes me think of Ebenezer Scrooge. Don't ask.
"Chasez is beside himself. 'I just got Phil Collins' autograph! Whoooo!' he shouts as he bounds down the hallway. 'I'm a little girl!' Now he understands." Seriously, that last sentence is the most moving--and worthwhile--one in the whole article. Seriously, to me, it makes them seem more human. More like the millions of little girls that long for their autograph. I am sure that they don't realize how much they mean to some of these kids. Hell, I remember NKOTB, and if I would've gotten their autograph, I would've been ECSTATIC! I just wonder if he (Jc and the other guys too) really do understand. Good question...deep thoughts..by Jen. Lol!