***You never, never know, these things COULD happen. If they do, everyone who is anyone would be even happier than Joey looking at Lance's Victoria's Secret catalog!***
Lance takes over Brandy's job as the new Cover Girl jingle singing model. They even name a color in his honor. It is a deep brown called Totally Toby. For $9.95 you can get blush, lipstick and eyeshadow all in this POOPular color!
Bill Cosby rolls over and pulls the plug, making Joey the offical spokesperson for J-E-L-L-O! So far, strawberry is the highest selling flavor, thanks to comercials showing Joey swimming naked in a kiddie pool filled with it.
Justin gets hired as the main attraction at Chipendales. Men everywhere start bleaching their hair and going fro, in order to to get the attention of not only their daughters, but now also their wives!
After seeing Chris's hair on the Teen People's anniversary issue, the people at ABC decide to bring Roseanne back on the air and have Chris play David, Darlene's boyfriend/fiance, since they look so much alike!
JC and NightQuil team up to tour the country. They use JC as proof that NightQuil will help you go to sleep faster than Joey can dial 1-900-GO-TWINS. Since JC is normally sleepy, what the innocent public doesn't know won't hurt them...mo' money, mo' money, mo' money!
Wild Orchid wants Chris to take over spinning records for Hot Dog (or whatever his name is), their dj on their show Great Pretenders (Sat. mornings @ 9 or so). They are hoping it might boost their ratings...with the retired crowd!
Busta Rhymes slaps a restraining order on Chris after realizing that Chris is still a rabid teenybopper at heart. Busta finds out that Chris' dog was named after him, as well as Chris using a picture of Busta to get the right kind of weave.
Justin goes bald at the age of 25...being the youngest man to lose all hair due to overuse of bleaching agents.
JC comes clean about his crack (caffiene) use and enters directly into rehab. There, they find out that not only was he smoking crack (caffiene), but he was also shooting up heroin. Those veiny arms were just perfect! He hid his addiction for so long saying that he was "afraid of needles".
JC teams up with Scott from 5ive and they go on a rampage, scaring little children with their gross (jc) snaggle (scott) teeth. They are finally aprehended after torturing dentists. (sorry, that one was lame)
After Joey becomes branded with the nickname "The Walking STD", he is forced by Lou Pearlman to quit N Sync, because he is giving out a bad image. He decides to open up his own Jello pool bar, where he is the main attraction. Absolutely frightening is the only word I can truly use to describe that.
Justin finally breaks down on Oprah, admitting to how many girls he has actually gotten "jiggy wit" in the back of the M(om) Class. The number is in the 100's...Oprah boos him off the stage.
K, I ran out of ideas, but don't worry I will think of some by like....tonight! More later. If you have any, email to me at just_thrust_it@hotmail.com!