Jen: Hello and welcome to the all new Jen Green show. (A spin off of the Tom Green show on MTV--duh!) This is my sister Rachel, and in the background here are my two cohorts, Kerri and Kristin. *They laugh* Today we will show you some home video footage of us torturing the members of the boyband N Sync. They recently came to Iowa for a couple shows. When they were here, we made it our mission to make their trip memorable. *Kerri and Kristin laugh in the background uncontrollably. We later see that they are actually watching the video I Drive Myself Crazy over and over on a tv backstage. It is out of view for Jen and the rest of the audience, so Jen just thinks they are laughing at her comedic antics. Yeah right.*
Jen: Ok, first off we just want to say that the guys of N Sync were great. They got a little pissed, but that is alright. We know they liked it...right Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah, they loved it. Especially when we cut off Chris' braids. Haha, he enjoyed that thoroughly. When he started chasing you with scissors, he just wanted to thank you.
Jen: Let's go to that clip now! I remember the look on his face, well...ya'll will see it now.
*The clip begins with Jen standing outside of a door in a fancy hotel. It is pretty late at night, and she has the lady from the front desk with her.*
Lady: Are you sure I won't get in trouble for letting you in here?
Jen: Oh no...it's fine. We just forgot something in there, we will only be about 5 or 10 minutes. It's all good, I promise. Chris will be happy to see us!
Lady: *looks doubtful, but proceeds to open the door anyhow* There you go...I am going back to the desk so I don't get in trouble.
Jen: Thanks. *looks into camera as lady disappears into the elevator* Ok, this is Chris Kirkpatrick's room, who is the oldest member of N Sync. He is the one with the braids...however he may not have them in the morning. Haha. *Jen walks into the dark room and turns on one of the lamps. On one bed is Joey, and he is sprawled out on the bed, obviously passed out. On the other bed, Chris doesn't stir, and is snoring soundly. She begins digging around in her backpack, searching for the scissors. She finds them and cautiously sneaks over to the bed where Chris is sleeping. Jen looks at the camera and smiles smugly as she cuts off one braid at a time. She continues to cut until the entire left pigtail is missing all of it's braids. Then, Jen carefully turns off the light, and goes back into the hall.*
Jen: Ok guys, I guess in the morning we will see if Chris appreciates my handiwork. I think he will like his new look, don't you?!
*The next day...Jen knocks on Chris' door. When he opens it, he looks really pissed and is holding the scissors that Jen left on the table next to the bed.*
Jen: Hi Chris, do you like your new hair style? It looks so nice!
Chris: That was YoU?!?!?!! I am going to kill you! Do you know how much it is going to cost me to replace my weave?! *Joey comes to the door behind Chris, obviously hung over, and starts laughing uncontrollably at Chris' hair.*
Joey: Nice hair man! Hahahahaha....ohhhh, stop laughing...laughing is bad. Hurts the old head there. Ohhh, I need to lay down again.
Chris: I am going to kill all of you people! Stop laughing about my weave getting cut off! I should cut your hair Jen!
Jen: Now Chris, just calm down, it's not that big of a deal...just don't cut MY hair!
*Chris begins chasing Jen around the hotel hallway with the scissors as the camera cuts away.*
*Back in the Jen Green studios*
Jen: See...he loved my hair cutting skills! I could tell. I think that the chasing me around was just his way of playing with the audience. Hahah...don't you all think so?
Rachel: Yep, I sure think he loved it.
*Kerri and Kristin burst out laughing in the back*
Jen: Ok guys, next we have the clip where we sat outside of the concert and shouted stuff at teenyboppers. I know you are all excited. This stuff is what we here at the Jen Green show like to call "observational comedy".
*The clip begins with Rachel and Jen standing outside of a huge auditorium. There was a looong line of teenyboppers waiting to get into the venue, and more were walking around. Jen and Rachel look evily into the camera as they begin with the public ridicule.*
Jen:*As a ten year old in baby blue walks by...Jen begins with the torture.* (Sung loudly to the tune of the song PINK) Baby BLUE is my favorite color...if I wear it, Justin might be my lover!
Rachel: Baby Blue it's my new obsession... Baby Blue it's not even a question, Baby Blue on the boy named Justin ‘cause Baby Blue is the color he thrusts in!
Jen: *Glances around searching for a new victim...sees a girl in a superman jersey.* You must be a Superman fan. Do you think Joey is super? He is going to be flying tonight like Superman. Have you ever met Joey or Superman? Did you know that Joey is the furthest thing from a man of steel? He is really more like the man of tin foil.
*Girl shoots Jen a dirty look...Jen and Rachel both start laughing uncontrollably.*
Rachel: *Sees a girl dressed in slutty tight clothes, and nudges Jen.* I am dressed like a slut, I am dressed like a slut! I am dressed trampy to catch the eye of N Sync. They like sluts!
*Finally after more torturing, Jen and Rachel have had enough. They do one last thing before stopping the video.*
Jen and Rachel: *Turn toward the long line of teenyboppers and say,* "Hope you all enjoy the New Kids on the Block concert tonight. Be sure to tell Jordan that he has the Right Stuff, and to keep Hangin Tough! Ok? Thanks!!!
*Clip ends...back to Jen and the rest of the crew in the studio.*
Jen: Alright, wasn't that fun?
Audience member: That wasn't funny! That was very mean to make fun of those girls in front of everyone. How would you like that?
Jen: Well, I would think it was funny! And it's MY show, and I will do what ever the hell I want! Maybe I should call this the "Jen does whatever the hell she wants hour". Very catchy.
*Kerri and Kristin begin laughing loudly*
Jen: One last clip before our time is up! This one was when we made a surprise visit to the home of the youngest member of N Sync, Justin Timberlake. We decorated his car, but he didn't seem to like our work too much! Take a look...
*Clip begins with Jen standing outside of a huge Florida home at night. She has the keys to the Benz in one hand, and is whispering.*
Jen: Ok, we took Justin's car earlier today to get a little paint job done. We decided that because of his recent antics, that he really must like sluts. Sooooo, we had this image painted on his Benz...
Now, he should be getting home sometime tomorrow, and we are just going to wait here until he arrives. We can't WAIT to see what he is going to say about his new Slut MoBenz. I hope he likes it!!
*The next morning, Justin pulls up and hops out of JC's jeep. He goes into the house, and then heads into the garage to check on his Benz. Jen and the cameras are hiding there, and they capture his reaction on camera!*
Justin: Yo! What the F***! Dis be WHACK! Who da foo paintin' all up on my Benz?
Jen: *Comes out from her hiding spot* Justin! Do you like your new Slut MoBenz? Do you think that it looks good? I did it just for you, because I know how much you love sluts.
Justin: Well I like sluts, just NOT ON MY BENZ!!!!!! You better get this off of here. I need to go to the studio soon, and I will NOT drive this with a slut painted on the hood.
Jen: But Justin, you like sluts, so why don't you want it on your car? I had it done as a gift. Why don't you like it? I just wanted to paint it as a gift. I didn't want you to get mad.
*Justin stomps off into the house and calls JC*
Justin: Man, you are gonna have to come get my ghetto ass. Jen Green painted a SLUT on da hood of my fly Benz, and now I can't bes drivin it round O-town. What if people see me yo?
Jen: But Justin, you said you liked sluts. Don't you think your fans would like to know that you enjoy and support sluts? It would probably make them happy to see their favorite star driving a car with a slut painted on the hood.
*Justin ignores Jen and continues to talk to JC. Within ten minutes of getting off the phone, JC was there, and the two guys were off to the studio.*
*Jen hops in the Slut MoBenz and follows the guys. She gets there right as they are walking up the sidewalk in front of TransCon.*
Jen: Justin!! You forgot to drive your Slut MoBenz. I know that you are mad at me, but look how good of a job they did. Doesn't this slut look lifelike? She reminds me of someone actually.
*Right then, a bunch of people come out of Transcon studios to see what all the comotion was about. The group included Joey, Britney Spears, and Lou Pearlman.*
Britney: Oh my god. Is that ME on your car Justin?! I am soooo unbelievably honored that you would have me painted on the hood of your car!
Justin: Yo Bitch! You are WHACK! Dis is da skankiest lookin boo I've eva seen. I's be havin it removed.
*Meanwhile, Joey is examining the car and practically drooling*
*Clip fades away as Justin is trying to explain to Bitchney...ahem BRITNEY...that he doesn't like her skanky ass.*
*Back in the Jen Green studio*
Jen: Well, thank you all for tuning in..I hope you liked that last clip. It's my personal favorite. Next week tune in to see more adventures that we had with those N Sync boys.
*Kerri and Kristin are STILL laughing*
*Camera fades out*