microsoft windows + viagra =
macrohard skylights
THE HAND IS QUICKER
THAN THE EYE... THAT'S WHY WE DON'T SHAKE EACH OTHER'S PUPILS WHEN WE MEET
if time is a river
please give me a few minutes
to drown my sorrows
CAN CANNIBALS READ PALMS
WITHOUT MOVING THEIR LIPS??
CELL PHONES DON'T
GIVE US BRAIN TUMORS.... WHAT CALLERS ARE SAYING TO US IS WHAT'S
GIVING US BRAIN TUMORS!
ALL THE DWARVES JUST PASSED THEIR
MONTHLY
DRUG TEST BUT HAPPY!
AFTER ARISTOTLE SAID
"EVERYTHING iN MODERATION"
DID HIS FRIENDS START SENDING
HIM
"GET FAIRLY WELL" CARDS WHEN
HE WAS SICK?
if BVD merged with DVD
we could all just
download our underwear
and carry it around with
us
in our pocketS
we were so poor
we didn't even have a crock
pot to piss in slowly for 8 hours while mom was at work
OK, YOU KNOW WHY THE CAGE BIRD
SINGS - NOW TELL ME WHY IT HAS TO ACCOMPANY ITSELF ON THE ACCORDIAN
ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT!
TARZAN is just one i short
of being a backwards nazi
rat
IF YOU'VE GOT TALENT,
PRACTICE HARD,
AND BURGLARIZE
ENOUGH MUSIC STORES
YOU TOO CAN BECOME
A ONE-MAN
CHAIN GANG!
if jesus had been a plumber
instead of a carpenter,
would he have died for our
sinks?
I JUST BOUGHT A 2-WAY REARVIEW
MIRROR SO THE COPS CAN'T SEE ME SPEEDING
i'm not really stupid myself
i've just been exposed to
a lot of
second-hand ignorance
in restaurants and bars
if i were a day trader
i'd be the guy stuck with
a warehouse full of mondays
HEADS UP:
THE SUPREME COURT HAS JUST OK'D THE WIRETAPPING OF SUSPICIOUS FIRES!
IF THE SQUEAKY WHEEL GETS THE
GREASE EVERY DAY AT WORK WHAT DOES IT GET AT ITS RETIREMENT PARTY?
it's a paint-by-numbers world
and all i have is this lousy
spray can of black
....
(all this crap ©1999 by
d.j. birtcher)
('nuff said)