(=^..^=)...1. Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest,
unless acted upon by some outside force -
such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby
scurrying mouse.
(=^..^=)...2. Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless
there's a really good reason to change
direction.
(=^..^=)...3. Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract
cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness
of the fabric.
(=^..^=)...4. Law of Cat
Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body,
except in the case of a cat, in which case
all heat flows to the cat.
(=^..^=)...5. Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional
to the length of the nap just taken.
(=^..^=)...6. Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever
possible, in a position as uncomfortable for
the people involved as is possible for the
cat.
(=^..^=)...7. Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach
just about any countertop that has anything
remotely interesting on it.
(=^..^=)...8. Law of Cat
Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate,
until he gets good and ready to stop.
(=^..^=)...9. Law of Dinner Table
Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good
is served.
(=^..^=)...10.Law of Rug
Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state
for very long.
(=^..^=)...11.Law of Obedience
Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a
human's desire for her to do something.
(=^..^=)...12.First Law of Energy
Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created
nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as
little energy as possible.
(=^..^=)...13.Second Law of Energy
Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored
by a lot of napping.
(=^..^=)...14.Law of Refrigerator
Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough,
someone will come along and take out
something good to eat.
(=^..^=)...15.Law of Electric Blanket
Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will
jump into bed at the speed of light.
(=^..^=)...16.Law of Random Comfort
Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take
over, the most comfortable spot in any given
room.
(=^..^=)...17.Law of Bag / Box
Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must
contain a cat within the earliest possible
nanosecond.
(=^..^=)...18.Law of Cat
Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion
to her embarrassment times the amount of
human laughter.
(=^..^=)...19.Law of Milk
Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared,
just to show you he can.
(=^..^=)...20.Law of Furniture
Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is
directly proportional to the cost of the
furniture.
