·Armadillos sleep in the middle of the
road with their feet in the air.
·Roadrunners don't say "Beep."
·There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
·There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.
·If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
·Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
·There are valid reasons some people put barbwire wire around their house.
·A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
·Texas has 5 seasons:
Spring, February 16 to April 15;
Early Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees);
Super Summer, July 16 to September 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees);
Late Summer, September 11 to October 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees);
Fall, October 2 to December 1;
Winter December 2 to February 15
·There is NO rainy season (or rain). [should add "in West Texas and the
Panhandle and no dry season in East Texas and the Gulf Coast."]
·The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until July 15, then it stops totally.
·Onced, Twiced and Onlyest are words.
·Fire ants consider your flesh a picnic.
·Texans don't have an accent.
·When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
·Green grass DOES burn.
·When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop
them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
·The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple
of weeks.
·When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the
doctor.
·Fixinto is one word.
·A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation
[livestock, wildlife, fish].
·Backards and Forards means I know everything about you.
·You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
·You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
·The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
·Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
·What general direction catty-wampus is.
·That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.
·How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.
·Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits.
·A good dog is worth it's weight in gold.
·Real gravy don't come from the store.
·Where "by and by" is.
·The difference between "pert near" and "a right far piece."
·What happens when you swallow tobacco juice.
·Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is
actually going to make a turn.
·You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the
elbows.
·You should never loan your tools, pickup, or gun to nobody.
·A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.
·Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
