Prologue~ Letters.
My Dearest Benson,
This is a bad time to be writing this. Of that I am perfectly aware. Because this is only hours before your marriage to another man. But I know that if I don't tell you everything now, I'll never get the nerve, or chance to tell you ever again. I love you.
It's almost amazing to me that those three little words can sum up everything I feel for you Caroline, but it does. I think of you, and my heart overflows. But then I think of you with another man, and my hearts wants to break, only it doesn't. The only way I'll be able to get through this day is to know that this is what you want, and what you need.
I wonder what would have happen if I
had said what I wanted to say the night you left. I had a ring
in my pocket. A ring that your mother said
you would love, but I just couldn't bear to take the courage and
ask you to be mine in fear of rejection. But now, I'm only afraid
of losing you.
I was afraid that night, more afraid then I've ever been. Until
today, when the realization of losing you has become a fact.
I remember the first time we danced
in the rain. Remember? That humid July night on top of Harbor
View Towers. We went up to watch the stars
but instead I found myself watching you. That was the night, that
I knew, no matter what you were to my best friend, I loved you.
I stood up
slowly, and then helped you to your feet. You looked confused,
but then a look of anticipation took over your face as I pulled
you close, and
pulled you into my arms. It was no mistake that it felt like you
belonged there, because you did... and you do.
I remember the night we lost our baby. Our only connection to each other, and I thought you were planning on leaving. I couldn't imagine that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you. But you stayed. You wanted to work things out. You wanted to be with me. That fact was not lost on me Sweet Caroline.
I remember picking up the phone, and hearing Jason's voice after so long. He had finally managed to locate you, in the last place he would ever suspected you to be. In my bed, with my arms around you. I couldn't tell who was more surprised, you, him... or me.
I knew you wouldn't stick around. He
was everything you wanted, and I was just a substitute. I've come
to terms with that. I was just someone
to take his place, just like AJ was. But when we were together,
it never felt fake. It never felt acted. It felt real, one of
the only real things I've felt in my life.
I remember watching you slowly, slowly
drift away. Drifting back into the life you used to have. We began
fighting more. You were on edge, I
was terrified of losing you. We never talked, we only screamed.
You took Michael to Bobbie's, telling me that you couldn't expose
him to the
fighting. We fought every moment of the day then.
The only time we didn't fight, was when
we were in bed. I tried to get you to sleep with me as often as
I could. That was when you became
yourself, someone that loved me, and knew what I needed. Gave
what I could take, and excepted my faults, because I wasn't perfect.
I went out to buy the ring, because
I knew that if I didn't stake a permanent claim, Jason would come
back and try to take you away. I took
Bobbie and Michael with me. We shopped for days, but I don't know
if you noticed. We never fought anymore. We never talked. We just
acted like strangers.
I couldn't lose you to Jason. I just
couldn't lose you. Because you were the only one who stuck around.
You saw into the madness that I am,
and you never ran. You saw me run to the edge of insanity, and
then crawl back out into the real world, and you were never scared.
Nothing
scared you. Nothing bothered you. You were a fighter. My fighter.
You fought for me, with me, because of me. I couldn't lose you,
because you
were my sanity. But the threat of losing you was real, something
so real, I can still feel my pain.
You picked me up when I thought I'd
fallen so far I'd never come back. You were always around when
I needed a smile. If I had a star for
everytime you made me smile, I'd have the whole sky in my hand,
Caroline, because you're the best thing that ever happened to
me.
This isn't the best time to tell you all of this, especially not this way, but I couldn't say this to you. If I ever saw you again, I'd have to take you in my arms and never let go. I love you Caroline. I loved you then, I love you now, I'll love you always.
You have my heart in the palm of you
hand, and the road ahead will be bumpy. The choices are all lined
out in front of you. Me, or him. The
life you've always dreamed about, or the life you've convinced
yourself you want. Choose wisely Caroline, this might be you're
last chance.
I'll always love you. As much as I do right now. Forever.
-C
She slowly stood, looking at herself
in the mirror as she did. The white gown was supposed to symbolize
happiness, but all her face
conveyed was confusion. She watched as her brown eyes slowly filled
with tears, she slowly brought her hands to her face, covering
her vision,
"Damn you." Caroline Benson whispered softly into her
hands, "Damn you."
****
Carly burst through the door, not bothering
to knock, not caring that the rain outside had ruined her dress
"What the hell is wrong with you,
Corinthos?" She walked swiftly through the Penthouse looking
for clues to where he could be, "Come on, coward, show yourself!
I mean it!"
Sonny stepped slowly down the steps in amazement, "You came." It wasn't a question, but simply, a fact.
She turned from the desk at the sound of his voice, her eyes shining in disbelief at him, "Of course I came!"
He looked her up and down, "You came." He repeated.
She looked down and saw her wedding
dress, and almost laughed at the irony of it all. She was in her
wedding dress. A dress she was to wear
as she pledged her undying love for anther man, yet here she was.
With him "How could I not come Sonny? A letter like that?
The way you made
all my feelings for you reappear again? I'd have to be crazy not
to come back."
He stepped towards her, hardly unable to believe his eyes, "I'm sorry about the way I did this."
She looked deep into his eyes before
replying: "I'm not." She watched as he face twisted
in confusion. "Well, it could have been on a better
day..." He laughed, "But I've been waiting for a way
to come back to you."
He reached out, and touched her waist, not pulling her closer, not pushing away, just touching, "Then why didn't you?"
It was she who turned, "I couldn't."
He stared at her back, "Why?"
She listened to his whispered, and then to the silence that followed. She didn't know how to put her feelings into words, and when she finally spoke, her voice sounded strange, even to her. "I left you. I didn't know how to just come back into your life."
He stepped closer to her, covering the three feet that separated them, and turned her around slowly, "Caroline, I love you."
Her eyes slowly filled with tears again, "Really?"
He carefully slid his thumb under her eyes and wiped away her tears. She closed her eyes under the slight pressure, and sheer contentment, "Of course Benson. How could I not?"
She barley opened her eyes, "Because I left you for another man?" She asked, shrugging.
He pulled her to his chest, not caring
that the dress she was wearing was soaked, "You came back.
No one in my life has come back, Carly, and
you did."
She filled her lungs full with air, and breathed in as much of his scent as possible, "I didn't mean to leave you. It's just..."
"He's Jason."
She simply nodded, "That's what I thought I wanted."
He placed his finger under her chin, and suddenly they were staring into each others eyes, "What do you want now?"
They both knew the answer, but they
both needed to hear it from her mouth. She had come all this way.
She had left her wedding because the
feeling were still there, "I want you." She said softly.
"Really?"
"I've always wanted you."
There wasn't much truth in either of their lives anymore. This was the truth. Sonny slowly brought her lips to his to finalize their feelings.
And for the first time in three years, Caroline Benson was finally where she belonged.
Part 1~ Mistakes Fixed.
After spending three years in a place
where she felt she didn't belong, Carly was irked by the fact
that Sonny wasn't in bed with her the next
morning, "Sonny?" She called.
He didn't answer so she left the room and made her way downstairs, "Hon, what's wrong?" She asked, after spotting him on the couch.
"Go back to bed."
She crept up behind him, "Sorry, don't think so. You went to all the trouble of getting me here, you can't just send me away when you want to."
He nodded, "Yes I can. Go back to bed."
She knelt on the floor behind him and
wrapped her arms around his neck, "No Sonny. I've spent way
to much time without you lately, and for the
next few days, anywhere I go, you go."
He didn't bother to turn around and face her, "Have you always been this stubborn?"
She nodded, "It's in my genes. I'm a Spencer after all."
"I love you, you know that right?"
She rested her head on his, "Of course. I love you to."
He unwrapped her hands, and stood up, "And I'd do anything to make you happy."
She watched him walk over to where she was standing, "Yes, I know that."
He wrapped her arms around him, "I'd give you the earth if I could."
She sighed, "Where is this going?"
He ignored her, "But I'm not Jason."
She grabbed his face gently with her hand, and made him look into her eyes, "Listen to me: I don't want Jason. I want you."
"I know." He watched her smile, "But I want you to know what you're getting into."
"Look at me Sonny. I know exactly
what I'm getting into. I'm getting someone who can read my thoughts,
and know what I want, and what I can
handle. I'm getting someone who knows me, and excepts me. I'm
getting you Sonny, and that's all I want." Her voice dropped
to a whisper, "I've
always wanted you. I thought you knew that."
"Oh Querida, I do know that. It just seems that you don't always know that."
She nodded, and looked down, "I'm sorry about Jason. I'm sorry about leaving you. I'm sorry about everything."
"I know sweetheart, and I don't want you paying for your mistake forever. And I know why you did it to. But we have to move past this."
"I know. Sonny, do you want to
know why I came back?" He nodded, so she continued, "It
was the last part of your letter. 'The life you've always
dreamed about, or the life you've convinced yourself you want.
Choose wisely Caroline, this might be you're last chance.' The
words were burned into my brain from the second that I read them.
And you were right. I didn't want Jason. I wanted what we had
once."
"But you don't want that anymore, right?"
She looked deeply into his eyes, "I didn't you know you were that worried about losing me."
"I am. Carly, I was lost without you for the three years."
"I was to. But I'm back, and we can move forward. Together."
He rested his head on hers, "The only thing that would make this perfect would be if our baby were here."
She placed her hands on his chest, and shoved him away, turning her back to him, and leaving him helpless, except to watch her shoulders heave as she began crying, "Carly?"
"Don't." She whispered.
He moved to her, and placed his hands on her shoulders, "What's wrong? What did I say?"
"It's all my fault."
He looked confused, "What's your fault?"
She turned to face him, and he saw the tears that had fallen, but she stopped him from wiping them away, "It's my fault we don't have this baby."
He looked heartbroken for her, "Carly, you can't think that."
"Why not? It's the truth."
He reached out for her, and struggled to pull her close, "Carly, baby, listen to me. Listen. The doctors told us that we only had a 50% chance of carrying the baby to full term."
"It doesn't matter what the doctors said. I was the mother. I should have taken care of it. I shouldn't have made you lose another child. I deserve to die just like Lily died."
"Carly, if you died, I'd be lost. I couldn't handle it."
"How can you love me? Sonny, you lost another child because of me! Me! I'm the reason that there isn't another Corinthos running around here."
"But you're the reason that this Corinthos is happy. Carly, don't punish yourself. I can't stand to see you hurt."
She melted into his chest, "How can you stand to love me?"
He ran his hands through her hair, "Because I do."
"That's not a reason."
"Fine. Because you give off this
amazing energy that I can't seem to get away from. You can make
me smile when I'm convinced there's no good
in this world. I see you face, and my whole day brightens, and
it's always been that away. Even before we slept together."
He looked deep
into her eyes before whispering, "Even before I admitted
it to myself."
She looked up, her eyes shining, "You really love me that much?"
"I love you more than that, Benson."
"But do you love me for me?"
"Yes." He whispered, not knowing that the one syllable that he had uttered meant more than anything to Carly, "You had to ask that?"
"Yes." She moved out of his embrace, and walked over to the window, "I've never been loved for me. Just for Michael." She looked over her shoulder at him, "Or because of another child."
"I admit Carly, that I did have you move in here because of the baby."
"So you really don't love me for me."
"Yes I do." He stood behind
her, far enough so they weren't touching, but close enough that
she could feel his body heat, "Look around you. Do
you see our baby here? Because I don't Carly. All I see, is a
beautiful women that I can't live without. It doesn't matter to
me if we have
children. All that matters, is that we're together."
"Were you really going to ask me to marry you?"
He stepped away from her, and walked
over to the desk. He took out a key and unlocked the smallest
drawer. "Yes I was." He turned his
attention back to the desk, and pulled out a small silver jewelry
box,
"Here. Look at it."
She took the box out of his hands, "Sonny, I don't have to see this. I just wanted to make sure you really meant forever."
"You're never getting away from me Carly. Go ahead, look at it."
"No." She handed the box back to him, "I don't want to see it."
"Ever?"
She shook her head, "No. But not until I'm ready to wear it."
He grinned, "You'd marry me?"
"Of course, I'd have to be crazy not to. But in time."
He took her hand and led her back to the couch. They sat down together and Carly placed her head on his shoulder, "I love you."
He traced her lower lip with his thumb, "I know. And I love you to."
The sat in silence for a moment, "What's your biggest regret?"
It was the simplest, yet most loaded
question he had ever been asked, and a dozen answers ran through
his mind, letting Lily into that car,
letting Brenda go back to Jax, turning Robin away when she really
needed him, hurting his best friend, pushing Mike away, letting
Deke hurt his
mother, leaving Brenda at the alter, marrying Lily when he knew
that neither loved each other, getting involved with Hannah, pushing
Juan
away, getting into the mob, letting Stone die. He only voiced
the biggest regret, "Letting you go."
She smiled, closing her eyes, "I'd hoped that was it."
"What's yours?"
"Loosing the baby." She silenced
him before he could tell her it wasn't her fault, "Because
that's when I really began to doubt us. Which led me
to leave you for something that's always been there."
"Jason might have always been there, but I'll always be here."
"I know, thank you."
He reached down and took her hand. They
sat in silence, just enjoying that fact that they were together
again. "You amaze me." He couldn't
help but whisper.
She opened her eyes, "Thank you." She said, tears springing to her eyes.
"I'm never letting you go."
"I'm never leaving."
"I'd kill Jason before I'd let him have you."
She shook her head, "Jason isn't an issue anymore."
Sonny raised any eyebrow, "He's not coming back for you?"
"There wasn't love between us. He knew that as much as I did. He came back for Michael, and got me in the process. That's not what he wanted."
"What did he want?"
"For me to be Robin." She
stroked Sonny's chest, "I couldn't be that. Now, or years
ago. We both had to face reality, we weren't getting what
we wanted."
"Where do you think he is now?"
"In Paris."
"Does he know you came back here."
"I don't know. Probably. All I said was that I didn't belong with him, and I was going home." She lifted her head from Sonny's chest, and looked into his eyes, "He knows we belong together, and that you're my home."
"You're mine to."
Sonny stood, "Come on."
She let herself be lifted from the couch, "Where are we going?"
"Do you trust me?"
She nodded, "With my life."
"Then follow me."
"I'd follow you anywhere."
Part 2~ Memories Once Again.
Carly was blindfolded. The satin cloth
tied tightly around her face let in no light, but she felt strangely
secure holding onto Sonny's arm. She
heard the key click in the lock, "Are we there yet?"
"Excited baby?"
She nodded, "Come on Sonny. We've been driving around town for an hour. I've had this damn thing on, and I have no clue where we are. Hurry up!"
He laughed, "Patience is a virtue."
"I wasn't blessed with that one."
He smiled at her, and opened the door,
walking away, and leaving her standing alone, "Don't move."
He commanded. She followed him inside, and
jumped when she heard the lighting of a match,
"Umm, Sonny? I'd really like to be able to see now...."
He lit the remaining candles, and then blew out the flame, "Alright." He walked over to a table, and sat down, "Untie it."
She hurriedly untied the cloth, and
let it drop to the floor, "Sonny." She whispered, before
becoming overwhelmed with emotion, and bringing a
hand to her mouth.
He grinned from his chair, "Don't
you know you're not supposed to keep
a gentlemen waiting?"
"Oh my god."
"Do you like it?"
She seemed frozen, "I love it." She was standing in the middle of Luke's. The lights were out, and dozens of candles were lit around the tables and bar and floor. The disco ball was replaced with a chandelier. Sonny was sitting at a table with two place settings, with one plate covered in roses, "Sonny...." She trailed off, overcome with emotion; unable to even think of words that would come close to what she was feeling.
He stood up and walked to where she was, "It's like out first date, remember?"
She nodded, "Thank you."
He wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close, "You mean the world to me, baby."
She wiped away the few remaining tears on her face, "Why do you have this power over me?"
"Because I love you." He said, kissing her softly, "And I always will."
She nodded, " Thank you. For everything."
He took her hand and lead her to the table, "Carly, I talked to Jason last night."
Carly shook her head, "Not now. I don't want to think about him. I want to concentrated on you."
"I'd like that. But you'll like this to."
She sighed, "Okay." She reached her and took his hand, "What did he say?"
"Michael is at Bobbie's. He'll be ready to come home with us tomorrow morning."
Her mouth dropped. A few seconds past as she studied his face for any bit of humor. "Are you for real?"
He nodded, "You get your son back Carly."
"How? I thought Jason would keep him..."
"Jason loves you, baby. Not in the way that I do, but he loves you, and he knows that you love Michael. He'd never try and keep him from you."
"Everyone wants to keep me from Michael, Sonny." She reminded him, "But I do love my son."
Sonny took a quick sip of his water, and then stood, "Would you like to dance with me?"
Carly nodded, and stood to, "Yes, I'd love to."
Sonny lead her to the floor space that had been cleared, "I love you Carly."
She stepped closer to him, "I love you to."
He wrapped his arms around her waist, and noted that she seemed a little rigid, "What's wrong?"
"Um, well, don't we need music?"
He laughed, "Oh ye of little faith. You think I'm ill prepared."
Carly nodded, "Yeah. If you're standing here with me, how are you going to get the music to play?"
"I'm using you."
She looked at him, "I don't know what you mean."
"You're magical." She looked disbelieving, so he continued. "Remember what our song is?"
Carly nodded, "I might have forgotten a lot of things, but I'll never forget what it felt like to be wrapped up in your arms for the first time. Or the song that was playing."
Sonny smiled, "What was it?"
"Amazed." Carly said. "But what does that have to do with-" Her mouth dropped open when the opening cords of the song began to play, "How did you to that?"
"I already told you, you're magical."
She rested her head on his shoulder, and began swaying to the music, "You own me Sonny, never ever forget that."
Four years earlier, July.
"Sonny?"
He snapped out of his trance, "Yeah?"
She stood behind him, "Do you want to come look at the stars with me?"
Sonny looked into Carly's face, "I thought that was your special time?"
"It is." Her eyes shone, "But I'd like to share it with you."
"Thank you." Sonny said, standing up, "Let's go."
Carly handed him a blanket, "Here. Carry this."
He took the blanket from her, and his hands touched her pregnant stomache in the process, "Our baby's in there." he marveled.
She grinned, "I noticed."
He lead her to the door, and rested his arm around her neck, "Thank you for making me a father."
She looked up at him, surprised, yet comforted at the touch of him, "You're welcome."
They entered the elevator, and rode to the roof in silence, "Do you come up here a lot?"
Carly nodded, "Yeah. It helps me
think, you know. When I think that I'm the only person that matters,
I look up at the sky and it's hugeness,
and everything just falls into place."
"The sky's a wonderful thing." He said as they exited the elevator.
Carly took the blanket from him, and
spread it on the ground. She carefully let herself sit on the
roof, and she rested her arms on the
ground, looking up. "You can sit you know."
He looked up from her growing stomache, "I'm enjoying the view from here."
She blushed, "You're going to be a wonderful father, Sonny."
"I hope so."
She suddenly grinned, "The baby's kicking Sonny! Come feel."
He knelt down next to her, and placed a hand on her stomache. An amazed look took over his face, "Oh wow."
She placed her hand on his, "The baby loves the stars."
"Does he kick every night?"
She smiled at Sonny's reference to a boy baby, "Yeah. He must really know when I'm out here."
Sonny turned his hand over, and entwined his fingers with Carly's, "Our baby's going to love life."
She nodded, "Especially nighttime." She closed her eyes, "I think the baby's going to be born at night."
Sonny took his free hand, and used it to pull Carly close to him, "That would be wonderful."
She leaned against him, and looked up into his eyes, "We'll make this work Sonny." She vowed to him, "This will work for our baby."
He stared back into her eyes, and felt
his stomache flutter. His heart seemed to either skip a beat,
or add an extra one, but Sonny knew that
his world changed. Something was different. He was different.
He rested his head on top of Carly's, and he knew that not only
could he love her,
he did loved her. Just as much as Carly loved Jason.
"Sonny, are you okay?"
He nodded, "Would you like to dance with me?"
She shrugged her shoulder's, "Sure."
She carefully stood up with his help, "There's a CD player
over there, if you'd like to turn on some
music."
He nodded, "Sure. Wait right here."
She laughed, "I"m not going anywhere."
He walked over to the player, and pressed
play. The soft sounds of Lonestar came softly through the speakers,
and Sonny walked back over to
Carly without a word.
"Country?" He asked, unable to hold back his skepticism.
"Leave me be." She answered,
"It's what I like, so it's what I listen to." She stepped
to him, not knowing what would happen next, "Hold me?"
She asked softly.
Sonny carefully took her in his arms, placing one hand behind her back, and the other on her stomache, "I'd love to."
End Of Flashback
"I love you."
She looked up into Sonny's face, "I know."
"Maybe you need reminding."
She took that the wrong way, "I'm not going back to Jason." She said gently.
He pushed back from her embrace, not taking it gently, "If you're not going back to Jason, why do you bring him into every conversation we have?"
"Because I can see it in your eyes, man! You don't believe me!"
"I believe you just fine, baby doll." He said, "It's just that I don't think you believe it."
She reached out her hand, finding it still left a few inches between her and Sonny, "What do you want from me Sonny?"
"I don't want anything." He said, "Just you, Benson."
"Then why can't you accept me?"
"I do."
"No, you don't."
"How can you say that?"
"You're always trying to twist my words to make it seem like I'm out to hurt you. I'm not Sonny, do you hear me? I'd rather rip my heart out, and watch it bleed to death, than hurt you." She closed the distance between them, "Because seeing you hurt does the same thing to me. It cuts into me, and makes my heart bleed."
He pulled her to his chest tightly, and held her there, "I hate doing this."
"What?"
"This fighting over Jason. Over everything."
"Then let's stop."
"I can't give you everything you need Carly, and one day, you're going to realize that."
"Don't you get it? You're all I need. I'll never need anyone like I need you."
"How can you say that?"
"Because I've lived without you. I've lived the lonely life I thought I wanted. But I wasn't happy. The only time I've even been happy, was with you." She cried, disparate to make him believe her.
"I wish I could believe that."
She sighed, "Then believe it Sonny,
cause I'm tired to explaining how I feel to you, and having you
push me away. You're big on telling people
to make choices, why don't you make one of your own? Choose me,
and we'll move on from right here, right now. Or choose to turn
me away, and
we'll never be together. But choose fast Corinthos, I won't wait
forever."
His silence hung in the air, for a fraction of a second to long, and Carly turned on her heel, and ran away from him, out into the night.
****
Bobbie opened the door, surprise to see her daughter standing there, "Carly!"
She flung herself into Bobbie's not so open arms, no greeting, no explanation just need. "Momma." She chocked out.
Bobbie went into mother mood, "Shh. Let's get you inside, and you can tell me what happened."
Carly nodded, and reluctantly pulled back from her mother, "I didn't mean to do that. Make a scene I mean. I was through with that. I was going to be calmer, but I got here, and I saw you, and that's all I could do."
"Don't apologize for your feeling to me, Carly, don't apologize to anyone for how you feel, because it will beat you up inside."
Carly knew her mother wanted her to say something, anything. Just to say something to explain why she was here, but no matter how hard she tried to say something, nothing came out.
Bobbie noticed, "Alright. Is it about Sonny?"
Carly felt a film of moisture cover her eyes, but she shut them tight, refusing to shed any more tears over Sonny, "Yes." She managed to whisper.
"Do you want to tell me? Or do you want me to guess?"
Coming from anyone else, that last comment would have seemed rude, but Carly knew what her mother meant, "I-I don't know."
"What do you want me to do?"
Carly looked into Bobbie's eyes, and felt a need she hadn't felt in over twenty five years. Her eyes slowly probed her mother's for compassion, "Hold me?"
Bobbie's heart broke for her daughter, "Of course."
Carly slid closer to her mother, "I should see Michael..."
Bobbie shook her head, "Not now. Not while you're upset.
Carly closed her eyes, "I love him Mamma, but I can't do this."
"Do what?"
"Try to live with him, while living without him."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"He wants me to keep apologize for leaving him, but I can't! I just can't! I said I was sorry, and we agreed to get along, but it's like he's shutting himself off from me."
"He's hurting. Just like you are. You can't expect everything to be like it used to, because it's not."
"But I want my old Sonny back."
"What is that? Tell me how he used to be."
"He used to bring me flowers, and know when I was going to screw up. He knew when I needed holding, and just when I needed to be alone. He used to hold me in front of the picture window..."
"And dance with you on the roof."
Bobbie and Carly's heads turned to the door, "Sonny?"
He stepped toward her, "I'm sorry baby. I was hurt."
She jumped up from her mother's arms,
"Do you think you're the only who's hurt? Because I'm hurt
too! Sonny, I love you, but I can't do
this."
He pulled her roughly to his chest, "Don't."
"You're not giving me any choice."
"What happens now."
She pulled back, looked into his eyes,
and felt his pain along with her own, she shrugged, "I don't
know Sonny." She whisper, beginning to cry
again, "I just don't know."
"What does you heart say?"
She sniffled, "It says you have to leave. I can't be with you right now. I'm sorry. So, so sorry."
Sonny and Bobbie both watched in horror as Carly ran from the room.
****
Hours had passed, and the rooftop was lonely and quiet, but Sonny didn't expect it to be anything else. It had been the same way since he had come up here, an hour ago "Damnit Corinthos! You're always pushing her away!"
He walked over to the ledge, and stared
down into the street below. A feeling of terror swept through
his body, and he stepped back, turning
from the ground to stare at the sky. "God?" He whispered
in silent prayer, remembering the look in her eyes as she turned
from him, "Why do
I always do this?"
He started to pace the roof, but stopped in his tracks when he saw Carly leaning against the elevator shaft, "Hey."
She tore her eyes away from his body, "Hi."
They stared at each other, not know what to say, or how to say it. Finally, Sonny broke eye contact, and headed towards the elevator, "I'll leave."
She stopped him, "No."
"No?"
"I came to apologize. For everything. But for the last time. We move on from here, or we part ways. I couldn't just leave things hanging overnight."
Sonny stood inches from her, "I know I love you. And I know that I trust you, but can you say the same?"
She felt his breath on her cheek, "Yeah." She whispered, breaking off, and starting to cry again.
His resolve broke, and he wrapped his arms around her. Her arms encircled his neck, and she sobbed into his shirt, "I'm so sorry Sonny."
"Don't apologize. Everything's okay. We'll work through this."
"You're going to take me back?"
He lifted her face, and stared into her brown eyes, "I'd have to be crazy not to."
She laughed softly, "Didn't we already have this conversation this week?"
His laugh mingles with hers, "I think we did."
"I don't want to fight with you."
"Me either Benson."
"Take me back."
"Of course."
"Michael to?"
"Without hesitation."
"I love you."
"Me to." He leaned in for a kiss to seal the deal they had just formed.
Carly leaned back into his chest breathless, "Sonny?"
"Yeah doll?"
"Since we're up here, and there's no one around..."
"Yeah?"
She looked up and grinned, "I'd love it if you'd dance with me."
"I'd never turn you down."
"That's what I was hoping."
"Carly?" Sonny said, before pressing play on the CD player at his feet.
"What?"
"I'm amazed by you."
Part Three~ Reunited
"I was hoping you'd wake up soon."
Carly rolled over in bed, "God, it's almost the middle of the night!"
Sonny laughed. A deep, throaty laughed that calmed Carly to the core, "It's almost nine o'clock."
She nodded, "Like I said, the middle of the night."
"Come on, we better get ready."
She watched him stand up, and her eyes
followed him to the door, "Where are we going exactly?"
She asked, getting out of bed, and wrapping her
robe around her.
"Downstairs." Sonny said, dropping a quick kiss on her mouth.
"Oh, I don't think so." She pulled him back to her and captured his mouth with hers, "You cannot kiss and then pull away."
He ran his hands quickly through Carly's hair, "I have to. Breakfast is almost ready."
She let him pull away slightly, "What are you?" She laughed, "And why did you get up so early?"
"Carly." She looked into his eyes, "What is today?"
"It's Thursday."
He groaned, "And what happens on Thursday?"
Her mouth dropped open, and she slid out of his arms, "Michael! I forgot! Oh my God, there's so much to do!"
He grabbed her shoulders, "Get in the shower."
"I can't. I - I have to get his room ready. I'll never get anything done!"
"Carly! Trust me, and get in the shower!"
"How?"
"I fixed his room. Johnny got all of Michael's toys from Bobbie's, and breakfast is almost ready."
"Thank you."
"Girl, stop talking, and get in the shower!"
She laughed, "I love you!" She called at his retreating form.
"I love you to!" She heard him holler back as she set the water on hot.
Downstairs Sonny was pacing the floor, "Boss?" Johnny said, sticking his head in the door, a few minutes later.
"Yeah?"
"Benny's here."
Sonny pinched the bridge of his nose, "Let him in."
"Well Sonny, you're up early." Benny said, coming through the door with his arms full of papers.
Sonny sniffed, "Yes I am."
"That's good. I need some help."
"You're in charge now Benny, aren't you? What can I help you with?"
"Sorel."
Sonny opened the door, and pointed,
"Get out Benny. I'm down with the lifestyle, and I'm done
with everything that goes with it. There's a
little boy on his way over here, and you better not be here when
he arrives." He turned and headed into the kitchen.
Benny followed Sonny into the kitchen, "You think you can just say you're out, and then come home and flip your pancakes like it's over? It's not over Sonny."
He turned, a measure cup in one hand,
"Listen. I'm done. I'm not helping you, you're not dragging
me into this. Have one of your men deal
with it. I have to much on the line now."
"Like what?"
"Like me."
Benny turned at the sound of Carly's voice, "Carly!"
"Benny."
Sonny watched Carly cross her arms, "Are we done here?"
Benny turned back to Sonny, "Yeah, for now. But I'll be back."
Sonny led him back into the living, and to the door, "No, you won't. Good-bye Benny."
Carly rested against the back of the couch, "What was that all about?"
"Nothing." Sonny said, walking over to the bar, and pouring a glass of water, "Aren't you going to do your hair or something?"
Carly walked over behind him, "That's wasn't 'nothing' Sonny, and you know it. I hate it when you shut me out."
"And I hate it when you won't listen. It's nothing. Benny wanted some help, and I'm not giving it to him. End of story."
"It's never the end of the story when you work how you work."
"How I used to work." He corrected.
She ran one of her hands up his back, "Jason always said you can never get out. The business doesn't let you."
"Well, I guess I'm not Jason."
He snapped, "I've gotten out before, and I'm out this time.
Anything else you'd like to know that none of your
damn business?"
She closed her eyes, "Yeah. How did I become the bad guy in all of this?"
"Oh Benson." He stepped to her, but she sidestepped him.
"I - I have to go do my hair."
He watched her race up the stairs, and gently set down his glass and slowly followed her. "Carly."
The bedroom door was shut, and for a
brief second, Sonny thought Carly locked herself in. He tried
the lock, sighing in relief when it turned
and the door opened, "Carly, you can't ignore me forever."
She was in the middle of drying her hair, "I'm kinda busy right now, think you can come back later?"
"Do you want me to come back later?"
She sighed. "I hate it when you trap me like this."
"And I hate it when we fight."
"I'm sorry. Something was bothering you, and I wanted to fix that."
"I know." He walked up behind her and rubbed her shoulders, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me Benson. I want you to know that."
"I do. And I feel the same. But I have to finish my hair!"
He laughed, "Okay. I'll go get everything ready downstairs."
She turned away from him, and turned the blow dryer on low, "Thanks."
He walked to the doorway, stopped, and turned, "Car?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you sorry you came back?"
She smiled at him in the mirror, "Not even the slightest."
****
"Oh my baby. Mommy missed you." Carly hugged Michael tightly, "Did you have fun at Grandma's?"
"Yes."
"I'm glad." She stood up, "Have you eaten yet? Sonny made us all breakfast."
Michael's eyes lit up, "Thanks Sonny!"
Sonny grinned at Michael, "Anything for your welcome home party."
Bobbie helped Michael into a seat, and noticed Lucas was sitting next to him, "Are you two going to behave?"
"Of course they will, Mama." Carly said, sliding into her seat between Sonny and Michael, "Won't you boys?"
They nodded in unison, "Mom just likes to treat me like a little kid." Lucas explained.
Carly laughed, "Oh, of course, and what are you now? Ten?"
"Eleven." He corrected, "And I'm almost twelve."
Sonny poured him some sugar-free juice, "Really Carly, that's practically a man."
"I hadn't realized." She said, taking a bite of her toast, "This looks delicious honey."
He walked behind her, "So do you." He whispered.
She grinned, "Mama, where are Stefan and Nikolas?"
"Really Carly, why can't you just call him your father?"
"Because it doesn't feel like it yet. But I will. Anyway where are they?"
"Nikolas had to fly into New York." Lucas said, "And Uncle Stefan had an emergency at the hospital."
Sonny sat down, and reached for Carly's
hand, "I thought he was done backing the hospital. At least,
that's what Lucy told me the last time I
saw her."
"He is." Bobbie said, "But his term on the board isn't over yet, even though everyone would like him to be gone."
"He's a troublemaker Mama. I just don't see why you had to marry him. Or why I have to call him Dad. Lucas doesn't."
"Mature Carly." Lucas said, eating his pancake, "But I have a dad already."
"I have a dad to." She shot back.
"Right. But I know who mine is."
"Lucas!" Bobbie exclaimed, "Apologize!"
"I'm sorry sis. That didn't come out right."
Carly sat frozen, "It's okay, really." She jumped up from her chair, "I need to be alone."
Lucas watched her exit into the kitchen, "Sonny, I didn't mean that. Really, I didn't."
He nodded, "I know Lucas. Just eat your breakfast, and I'll go talk to her."
Sonny left the room while Bobbie started
to lecture Lucas on what was the right way to behave in someone
else's home. Sonny looked into the
kitchen and didn't see her, so he walked onto the patio, "Benson?"
She was huddled in an corner of the swing, "Please don't tell me that's it's okay, because it's not."
He sat down beside her, "I won't. I just wanted to hold you."
She looked up at him, her face streaked with tears, "I hate not knowing who my father is. I wish Bobbie could remember!"
"Maybe she does."
"Why wouldn't she say anything?"
"Have you ever asked?"
"No." She mumbled. "I'd just worry that I'd be just as big a disappointment to him as I am to Mama."
"You don't disappoint Bobbie Carly, you couldn't."
"I stole her husband."
"But you're her daughter. Could Michael ever disappoint you?"
"Never." She whispered, "I love him to much."
"Bobbie feels the same way about you."
"Maybe you're right."
He wrapped his arm around her, "I'm always right."
She laughed, "Thank you Sonny."
"It's nothing." He leaned
down and kissed her, "Let's go back inside
and finish breakfast."
"Could you just hold me awhile longer?"
"I'll hold you forever."