DAZZLIN' DEREK'S JOKEPAGE

10. You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell."
9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream "Get off my back, bitch!"
8. Your garbage can is your "in" box.
7. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
6. You have so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee.
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.
4. You don't set your alarm anymore cause you know the pager will go off before the alarm does.
3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge.
2. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.

And the number one sign:
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail