FUCK EVERYONE!
with Chris Bitchboy!

So I'm doing this Fucking horrible (as you see, fucking has a capital F, so you know its bad [actually it was originally a typo, but im too lazy to go back and fix it]) anyway, this horrible french project where I have to collect 25 different articles of events happening in french speaking countries, and I run across this article of this outbreak of disease that happened in Belgium that just cracked me up. I thought it was hilarious. Yeah, that sounds kinda sick, me laughing at other people's disease's, but hopefully you'll see why.

LEGIONELLA OUTBREAK IN BELGIUM PASSES ITS PEAK

An outbreak of Legionella pneumophila pneumonia among visitors to an exhibition of household items--the Handelsbeurs--held in Kapellen, Belgium, has reached its peak and no more cases are expected, say experts.

The outbreak was first reported by Belgian and Dutch media on Nov 15. The exhibition, which was held in the first week of November, was visited by 70 000 people. In all, 88 patients were admitted to hospitals in Belgium and the Netherlands with pneumonia with high fever; four patients died. The most probable source of the infection was a bubble bath at the exhibition. The Flemish Ministry of Health has now issued a ban on the use of open heated-water systems at exhibitions. The outbreak coincided with a court verdict in the Netherlands which cleared the organisers of a floral exhibition of responsibility for 154 cases of legionella pneumonia, 23 of whom died, which were linked to an infected whirlpool.

Now, it doesn't seem funny at first, but when you go and look at it, and think about it for a second, it is totally stupid. Why, in the first place, were they having an exhibit of household items? "Hey honey, let's go look at the washers and driers!" I mean, if they were regular household items, wouldn't they already know what they were, and people probably wouldn't need to go to an exhibit to see them. Its like me going to see an exhibit of different types of refrigerators. And why would anyone go to a fucking exhibit that had a bubble bath in it. Who wants to see a bubble bath? I don't know why it struck me as funny, it just did, and as this is probably one of the stupidest things I have ever written, I probably should stop.

I think this years so-called "Millenium Celebration"(the new millenium doesn't start till next year, dumbfucks!) was definitely a night to remember for me. It was just going to be a regular night, I was gonna party, and at about 1:30 or so my friend and I would go back to his house (right down the road from the girls house where the party was at) and I'd sleep there. Well, at about 3 AM, my friend decided to go to bed, and I was bored so I unlocked his door and went outside to go over to Lucinda's (the girl who had the party) house. Well, she had 5 other girls staying at her house, and we watched a movie for about an hour, and i decided that i was gonna go back to james' house. Well, when i got back, someone had locked the door, leaving me with no place to go but lucinda's house, with her mom not at home. Well, it appealed to me, even though i knew there wasn't gonna be an orgy or something (god that woulda been awesome), and knowing that these girls were all friends of mine, i decided to stay there for awhile. I'll have to admit, I was kinda scared about A) What my parents would say about me spending the night with a group of girls b) getting lynched by a raging, paranoid father who thought that my only reason for being there was to rape and defile his daughter, and C) what james' mom would say about me sneaking out of her house at 3 AM. Well, after several trips back to james' house from lucindas, and throwing many woodchips at his window (i learned the next day that he had hardly slept the night before, so he was out cold) I gave up and decided to just stay at lucinda's house. It was kinda strange being the only guy in a group of girls all in sleeping bags, but it was kind of exhilerating and fun at the same time, cause it felt like I was doing something i shouldn't be doing. Although i don't know what else i could've done, except drive home (yer all probably thinking im the stupidest person alive for not driving home), but I didn't know what my 'rents would say about me driving home at 5:30 AM. So, I ended up driving home like 9:30, after keepng all the girls up all night. So, all in all, it was a very cool night, one which i don't think I will soon forget, as it was fun walking between their houses in the middle of brookville at 5 AM. Oh yeah, we played truth or dare earlier, and some interesting things happened there, but im sworn to secrecy, so, for now, avoir! See ya next month!