ANOTHER Guest Spot!
by @lison!

You see them everywhere. They are in just about every piece of shit pick-up and every bar. What is it that I'm talking about? mullets.

After living in Western Pennsylvania for 18 years, you'd think that one would be able to recognize a mullet form a mile away, but not me. Mullets were brought to my attention only a mere month ago. Little did I know that mullet watching would become one of my favorite pass times.

"Hey Anne! Did ya see that mullet?" I exclaimed as our long journey back to Pennsylvania began. In just about every pick-up that we passed I spotted one. Poor Anne missed out though because of her constant need to keep her eyes on the road. What's up with that?! Mullet watching is more important than safe driving!

As we started getting closer to PA the increase in the number of mullets became quite apparent. Of course sitting along the road for two hours waiting for a tow truck can have that effect on you. Yea, we broke down. It wasn't too bad. We made it just far enough so we could be towed to Greensburg, PA.

While sitting in the tow truck crushed between Bill and Bubba, we watched mullet after mullet speed by. Of course, what could we say? Bubba didn't have any teeth so we opted not to discussing about the mullets until after the two nice tow truck men left us off at Sears. You see, Bubba couldn't talk in intelligible sentences. He would just garble something and Bill listened and nodded.

In the two days that followed we saw our fair share of ape drapes. The most dramatic of which was at the local Walmart. As we were walking from the parking lot, the mother of all mullets was right in front of us. If that wasn't bad enough, he seemed to follow us throughout the store. When we finally took the time to discuss the mullet at breakfast the next morning my mom told us about her run-in with a female mullet.

It seems that this woman was not very smart. One day, she was out making soap. Ok, first of all, who still makes their own soap? Anyway, while making the soap, the lye flew up and burnt her in the face and scalp. In order to fix her hairstyle, she cut it into a mullet. Hey, she deserves it if she was making her own soap. Geez, all she had to do was go to Walmart, or any other store in Greensburg and buy a bar. I'm sorry I wouldn't risk making my own soap, just because of the chance of having to live with a mullet!

As our journey to PA came to an end, we reflected on the various types of mullets we had seen. From that weekend on, it seems that every time I see a mullet I am reminded of good ol' PA.