Rachel blushed in the dim light of the bus as Joey's eyes remained steady with hers. 'Oh no, that sounded so totally desperate. I want you to stay?!? How could I possibly get any more cheesy...' Rachel grimaced at the thought of how pathetic she must have sounded to the tall Italian.
"You want me to stay? Are you sure? Cuz..I can go into the other room if I am bugging you." Joey said carefully as Rachel started avoiding his gaze.
Rachel frowned slightly, "Umm..no, I was just kidding! Go, sleep in the other room. You're tired, and I think I hear Justin calling out your name in his sleep. Better hurry...he's a very lonely boy!" She smiled, trying to convince him that she really had been joking when she blurted out her request for him to stay.
Joey tried to hide the disappointment in his brown eyes as he murmured an okay and headed to the back of the bus where the others slept peacefully. 'Man, that really sucks...why did I have to sound so excited that she asked me to stay up with her? She thinks I am an idiot.' he thought as he lay down and fell back into a restless sleep.
***
Jordan walked down the unfamiliar street alone. Looking around, she saw only strangers faces. Suddenly, she saw a tall, tan man with dark hair walking in front of her. Not knowing what his face looked like, a surge of energy ran through her. 'I just know it's him' she thought as she began trying to get the man's attention. Yelling as loud as she could, "Dad! Dad!", she ran after the tall man, but he wouldn't turn around. She finally caught up to him, and tapped him on the shoulder excitedly. "Dad, it's me...Jordan..!" The man continued walking as he shrugged her hand off, almost disgusted with her for touching him, bothering him. Frustrated, Jordan stopped short, watching the man walk away from her in silence as tears streamed down her face.
Jordan's eyes snapped open, her heart still racing from the heavy emotion she had experienced in her dream. Reaching up, she silently brushed away the tears that were gently making their way down her cheeks. She sat up in the dark and turned on a nearby lamp. Glancing around the room, she noticed that her sister was no longer on the other end of the couch. Lance and Leigh had fallen asleep on the other sofa, Leigh laying beside Lance, her head buried in his chest. Joey and Justin were sprawled out in different directions on the floor, without pillows. Joey's mouth hung open as he snored, and Justin lay face first on the floor, his arm acting as a makeshift pillow. 'Whatta cutie..' she thought, smiling to herself as she got up to put pillows under Joey and Justin's heads.
"Um...ew Joey. Slobber all over my hand why don't you.." she muttered to herself as she gently lifted his head to slide a small pillow underneath. Joey shifted slightly at her touch, but didn't wake up before resuming his heavy snoring.
Jordan sat down gingerly on the carpet next to Justin's head. Reaching out, she smoothed his blonde curls and smiled wistfully. "Why can't I just open up to you? Now...I am afraid it's too late...you tried to be there for me and I pushed you away so many times. It's in my nature though...pushing people away like that. I am just afraid I may have pushed you too far..." she rambled as she looked down at Justin, who was sleeping peacefully. Slipping a pillow under his handsome face, she looked at him one last time before getting up and heading to her bunk for the remainder of the night.
***
"Justin!! Hurry up man...we're already running late for the photo shoot. Everyone's going downstairs now..." Lance shouted into the spacious bathroom inside of N Sync's suite. After arriving in Phoenix, N Sync and Eternity had wandered into their separate rooms like zombies, not awakening until they got their wakeup calls at 8:00 AM.
"Well if you guys would have woken me up earlier, and gotten your slow asses out of the shower sooner, I wouldn't BE running late now would I?" a crabby Justin yelled back over the running water of the shower.
"Aight, well hurry anyways...we'll see you downstairs." Lance sighed as he shrugged at JC, who was giving him a disapproving look. "He's pissed cuz we all took too long. So, as usual, it's our fault. I seriously wish that he would just work this whole thing out with Jordan. It's making him bitchier than normal." he commented as the two men made their way into the elevator and down to the lobby where the others were waiting.
***
"Where's Justin?" Johnny said to Jordan and Rachel as the two girls made their way out of the elevator and into the lobby. He looked at them sternly as they both shrugged.
"I dunno. We just came out of our room, straight down here. We didn't see him in the hallway or anything...he must still be upstairs in the suite." Rachel said simply.
"Would one of you please go get him?" Johnny sighed, folding his arms impatiently as he looked at his watch. "We're running very late."
"Um..." Jordan said, glancing around the lobby as she searched for someone else to go up and get him. "Where's Joey and all them? Couldn't they go up quick and tell him to hurry?"
"Joey, Leigh, Chris, Lance, Ashlee, and Tressa already are waiting in the limo. JC's over there talking on the phone.." he motioned over toward the front doors where JC stood, talking intently into his cell phone. Jordan glanced at her sister, who was still limping on her swollen ankle.
Jordan looked back at Johnny, "I guess I can run up and see if he's about ready.." she said quietly.
"Thanks Jordan...and please...hurry." he motioned her toward the elevator as she waited impatiently for it to open up.
As the elevator neared the top floor of the hotel, Jordan stood thinking. 'I hope he doesn't bite my head off like he did last night...'
***
"Justin?" Jordan opened the suite door cautiously as she entered. Seeing that the bathroom light was on and the door was almost completely shut, she knocked lightly on it. "Hey...Justin?"
"Yeah?" he answered her.
Not opening the door any further, she replied softly. "Johnny told me to come get you. We're really running late..you're supposed to hurry."
"Oh, ok.."
"Uh..I guess I'll just see you downstairs then.." she said as she turned around to leave. As she walked past the coffee table, she accidentally knocked a folded piece of paper to the ground. "Oops" she said quietly. Bending down to pick it up, she noticed how worn the creases were. Wondering what it contained, she sat gently on the edge of the couch as she began to read.
"We speak all the same words
We mouth all the same lines
But how come we never hear
No matter how hard we try?
Words starting out right
Always ending so wrong...
Jordan's brow furrowed in confusion as she began reading aloud. 'These lyrics are beautiful. Whoever wrote these obviously really cares about this person very much...I wonder who it's about..' she thought as she continued reading the lyrics softly, not noticing Justin standing in the doorway of the bathroom.
Justin's heart ached as he listened to Jordan recite the poetic lyrics he had written back in Dallas. As he began approaching her, he too softly recited the lyrics that he had read over many many times.
Jordan stopped suddenly, hearing a male voice speaking the lyrics softly behind her. 'He wrote these?' she thought as Justin continued saying the song by himself as she sat there silent, her back to him.
"I wish we could say what we feel
Without words getting in the way
But somehow "I wish" and "If only"
"When will," "How long," and "So lonely"
End up being all we can say"
Justin finished the song as Jordan stood up from the couch, turning to look him in the eye. He smiled halfheartedly, and shrugged. "I've read it so many times, I kinda know the lyrics by heart now.." he explained, trailing off.
"These lyrics...they're...beautiful." Jordan's eyes curiously explored the depths of Justin's, searching for any hint of who he had written those lyrics about. Confusion showed prominently in her hazel eyes as the pair stood there awkwardly, each searching for the right thing to say.
Justin blushed slightly, avoiding Jordan's intense gaze. 'Why can't I just tell her that I care so much...and that I wrote that song for her. Doesn't she see it?' Justin's thoughts were jumbled as he tried to sort out what to say to Jordan. He looked at her and smiled, as she stood there still holding tightly to the piece of paper, a hurt expression beginning to take over her delicate features. Unsure of how to express himself, Justin searched for words to say how much he cared as their gaze remained locked.
Jordan's muscles tensed as she thought about the lyrics, and who they might be for. Noticing Justin struggling to express himself, she quickly became angry and hurt. 'These lyrics are obviously about someone he cares for a lot. Why won't he just spit it out? Does he think it might hurt me too much if he tells me they're about some other girl? Why can't he just get it over with?' she thought, feeling her emotions swell. Flustered, she dropped the piece of paper, "Um..sorry for reading your stuff..it won't happen again" she mumbled as she ran out of the room and the paper fluttered slowly to the floor.