Well, as of August 7th at 8 am. I will be facing my most irrational of fears, Flying!! I guess we all have one fear that ranks highest in us and mine happens to be flying. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would willingly board a plane. I'm still not sure I can do it, but the seats have been booked and paid for. My daughter is so looking forward to her very first plane ride and hopes that Mommy doesn't chicken out. Now how's that for pressure to go through with it?
Incentive. There must be an incentive. There is!! My sister has just moved into her new home, approximately 600 miles away, and extended an invite to spend a week. I love my sister dearly and especially her sons, but that's not enough incentive for this terra firma loving lady!! The incentive is 32 acres of clean country air and wilderness !!!A trout filled pond and no neighbours to speak of!! Now that's what I call incentive!! Had she horses too, I would Pilot the darn plane if need be to get there!!
Now, the hard part... getting on that plane and holding on to my sanity.
The plane tickets were booked yesterday and the flight is for almost three weeks from now and yet I spent a miserably sleepless night last night with apprehension. If I were anybody else, I would just cancel but, being me, I have a hard time backing out once my decision has been made. A chicken I may be but I also have my reckless determination that shows it's teeth every once in a while.
I'm writing this page as way to keep my courage and determination up,
as well as a way to chronicle having finally faced my worst fear. A little fear can come in handy, but a phobia is more of a handicap.
I always dreamed of horseback riding in Ireland one day but knew that with my fear of flying, there was no hope of ever getting there. Nor any hope of seeing Greece, Africa, Australia or the Caribbean Islands.
I have a lot riding on this first plane ride. The what ifs, my daughter's well-being, for my fate is her fate should we actually crash, and freeing myself of my most crippling of fears.
July 21 5:57 p.m.
I was discussing the impending plane ride with a friend of mine when
it was suggested that maybe I should take a train instead. I told her, that with my luck, the plane would make it safely but that the train would end up derailing!
Still, it wasn’t a bad idea if I should chicken out. I did tell her though, that if I should take the train and that it derailed while the plane made it safely, she had my permission to laugh her @** off at my wake!!!
She asked to have that in writing.
July 29 '99 11:33 pm
Well, many days have passed since my last entry here and I find myself on a continual roller-coaster between apprehension and a sense of "let me at ‘em" enthusiasm.
I so hope that the later will be present at the time of take off! As it is, my 11 year old is assuring me that all will be well and that she will look after me. I sense that I should feel at least a little embarrassed by that . Considering most people have to wait until they are in their seventies or so before their children become their caretakers.
I had no idea how much advice there is to be had about air travel. You would think I was going to the moon!!! And while I’m at it, why is it that everyone tells me that air travel is so smooth, unlike by car, yet only a few months ago, everyone had "bad turbulence" stories to tell? I wonder….Am I really getting the whole story here?
What’s this about, even if you are prone to feeling car sick, you won’t feel that way on a plane. Yeah right!!! Isn’t air travel the inventor of the airsick bag?
Take a deep breath on take off. What?! And then hold it? Or do it again and again? How many deep breaths make for a full a take off? My guess….enough deep breaths to pass out! I’ll stick with digging my fingernails into the nearest padded object and holding my breath ‘till I’m blue in the face! This seems all the more natural to a panic stricken land lover. Besides, the dizzying effect just may soothe me in the end.
The ballots are still being counted about alcohol. Some advise a "stiff belt" before boarding while others insist the high altitude may cause the alcohol to hit like a ton of bricks. In short, I could get sloshed on only one beer. Even an American beer! If it wasn’t for the fact that I am travelling with my daughter, I just might like to test that second theory. :o) But….
All in all, the advise I’ve been getting has been rather amusing. Reminds me of all the advise we women get, when awaiting their first child, about the inevitable..."birthing". And even then you are told how to breathe and when the time comes, what do you do?
Forget how, hold your breath and dig your nails in!!
Yup, I think I know what to expect, now.
Keep the advise coming. Like when I was pregnant, it’s an amusing way to pass the time while waiting for the dreaded, "inevitable" ;o)
Sept 12 '99 9:37pm
It’s about time that I update this page, no?
My much anticipated flight has indeed come and gone.
I’ve now developed a whole new set of mixed feelings
about air travel, but I won’t go into that just yet :o)
Sure enough, the night before my first flight, I was up
all night with a serious case of nerves. I knew that being
over-tired and stressed out would surely make things worse
but I was no match for my primal fears. I did manage to
get caught up on all my email though :o)
I was lucky to have a friend offer to get us to the airport as
well as keep us company until boarding time .
It’s nice to have friendly and familiar faces around when
you’re as strung out as I was. Even my daughter was getting
ansy about the flight but was trying hard not to let it show.
After we got our boarding passes we went to have a bite to
eat. Well okay, so I just had a coffee and squashed my eggs
with a fork. Eating them was out of the question!!!
My friend’s 3 year old daughter picked up on my nervousness
and was giving me big hugs every five minutes or so . Kids really are brighter than the average adult, I think.
But, the best was when she gave me an imaginary gift and
when I asked her what it was, she responded with "It’s a
parachute just for you". I could have cried!! :o) I think she
still has a dent or two from the bear hug I gave her.
Well...it was time. Time to line up and board the plane. {sigh}
We said our goodbyes, hugs all around and then passed through the gates of no return (or backing out).
Kiddo was now getting cold feet and I thought I might have a real problem on my hands. But, being the unusual mom I am, I just grabbed her by the hand and "Lu Lu Skipped to my Lu'd" our way to the boarding ramp. Kiddo half laughed and half died of embarrassment, but we managed our way round the corner and there she was .....Da Plane!!! {ulp}
Now....I was TOLD...that a DC-9 is a big plane. Yeah right!! Compared to what?!
The closer I got the more I realized just how low I would have to "duck" to enter the plane. At 5'8", I am considered tall but.....yeesh, there are men who are way over 6 feet, ya know.
It took all I had in me to not turn tail and flee. My lungs reduced to the size of peas as I tried to take my last breath before ducking into the plane. Kiddo swears I didn't utter a sound but in my head I heard a whispered scream of "Oh sh**" come out of me as I entered the plane.
Once on the plane, I could stand upright but jeez.... was it small and cramped. It wasn't anything more than a city bus with wings. What's worse, at over 700 dollars a ticket, the only way to get into a window seat at my height, is to bend over and "back" into it only to find myself in yet another predicament on how to do that quarter turn in order to sit. A couple of bangs to the knees and head, and we decided that Kiddo ought to have the window seat.
While Kiddo and I chattered away over whether to have the window blind open or closed, doing our best to camouflage our nervousness, the fella next to me seemed to be quite annoyed with having some first time flyers sitting next to him. A silent but wide eyed irritability that wasn't getting any better as my knee bounced with nervous energy. Yup, I'm one of those annoying people whose leg bounces under the table when I am nervous, or excited or ready to go. Not much I could do about my neighbouring passenger and his disfavour, so I did my best to keep the knee bouncing to a minimum and avoided prolonged eye contact.
{Uh oh....we're moving. We're being taxi-ed to the runway area. I guess it's too late to tell them that I want to get off... Right now!! Uh, God grant me this day.....
Oh boy! Now they're starting the engines. Okay...I can't feel my limbs anymore, can I get off now? }
"Isn't this fun, Kiddo?". "Yeah sure, Ma"
{Oh Great! That fella is looking at me funny again. I just won't look back}
"Hey Kiddo! We're picking up speed." "Okay Mommy, I know. Now can we please stop talking?"
{Uh oh, Kiddo is getting scared now. But, this is getting fun! I like high speed.}
"Mommy? Can we close the window blind now?" "Not now sweetie, Mommy needs to see out or she'll be sick" "Oh...okay"
{Holy smokes....are we ever going fast.}
And just before take off, an involuntary "woo-hoo" burst right out of me. A very audible woo-hoo. Kiddo laughed her butt off, more than a few heads turned and the fella next to me was overcome with a huge grin. Oh goodie...no more dirty looks. Things are really looking up now. Both literally and figuratively
I must say...the take off was such an incredible high. One I wouldn't mind doing over and over again. But that is just the beginning of the whole experience of air-travel.
